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The Big Star Wars Thread *SPOILERS ABOUND*


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there were so many moments of sheer embarrassment for me. all the strong females nobly sacrificing themselves for the light. the completely tonedeaf way each scene played out, from the little twenty minute cartoon casino planet sequence that seemed like some kind of psa about animal cruelty and human trafficking in like qatar or somewhere to the yoda scene which might as well have ended with the "the more you know" logo displayed above the burning tree. the porgs sort of ironic presence, like disney is saying "had to do it, back on my bullshit" by inserting them into every scene but also sort of winking at the audience like "look how dumb merchandising is now buy these things". the leia in space scene was monumentally bad, one of the cringiest things i've ever seen in a movie. i'm sure all the rubes will write on twitter about how moved they were and how amazing the female characters are and how empowered they feel by the children's movie but disney got one over on you and they're laughing all the way to the bank with this garbage.

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I came out of the theatre with mixed feelings. As time passes, I hate it more and more. I wanted to love it, but honestly, fuck Rian and fuck Disney. This was *the* Star Wars movie they had to get right (and I was honestly quite happy with TFA and Rouge One) but they totally dropped the ball on this, and there is no coming back from it.


If you actually LIKED TFA? And hate this... Man I despise TFA.  So I think i'm going to love this.  



The only thing that scares me is I really do not like any of these new characters at all.  Besides Snoke maybe.  

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meh. it was pretty boring.

only moment of real tension was finn's kamikaze run.



the cgi was pretty bad, other times the film looked pretty good tho (e.g. the salt planet).


the opening battle scene was alright, the battle in the throne room was ok, the rest of the battle/fight scenes were pretty dull though.


the bad guys are so terrible in this, not only are they all hilariously incompetent, they're really hard to take seriously as threatening individuals, even when they're blowing up people left and right, there's something very slapstick about them or something. Ren is still acting like a moody teenager as well, terrible acting, terrible writing (might be more believable if we had some idea how he was turned, and if they'd shown some of his training maybe).


poe and rey and finn are all decent in it again at least, doing the best with the flimsy writing.



...especially the epic levels of mary sueing for rey, she gets about 20 mins of jedi training in and now she's the best jedi in the whole universe



the porgs were probably the best thing about it, was expecting to hate them, and it was actually pretty funny at times.


not sure if it was better than the previous one or not, at least it was more original and not a thinly veiled remake. it was full of superfluous shit though, the whole casino planet sequence was terrible, rey's dark-side-hole adventure accomplished nothing, chatting with maz kanada, captain phasma, none of all that added anything to the film. rogue one was definitely better than this, and the previous one.

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Having problems reconciling the fact that I enjoyed it and didn't at any point feel bored despite the length, with the fact it's a total mess of a film, tonally all over the place, they've fucked up the Luke arc and the binary sunset reprise doesn't save it, and I left the cinema hoping Kylo Ren wins and kills all the rebels in the next film.  

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Why is this getting good reviews? It’s a total cluster fuck story and character wise. It’s equally as bad as any of the prequels. I mean, why didn’t they just let Leia die when she died?


Also fu kakapo

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Plum, you're still the worst person on the internet.  I'd say world, but there was the incident where I got arse raped in a ketamine fuelled rampage in Cornwall in '94, while the sound of a Sven Vath mixtape drifted over from a nearby beach party drowning out my cries, to at least put SAW on instead.  The whole thing made the arse rape scene from Irreversible seem like the arse rape scene from Last Tango in Paris.  In fact scrap that, I've forgiven my rapist.  You're the worst person in the world.

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Lol you ppl arw fakn mad! Wtf do you expect from a star wars movie? Sheee

Exactly. There was star wars and laser swords, that's what you paid to see, get your criticisms in perspective.




So like, points:


1) Leia flying was a bit silly but it almost makes sense "logically" because if you were using the force to propel your damaged body through space how else would it look? It would look some kind of stupid no matter what. They're space wizards.

2) Pseudo-retconning midichlorians was stupid.

3) Rey and Kylo totally should've done some psychic connection masturbation. They wanted to.

4) There were lots of actually kinda funny moments, which was a bit unexpected. At first I figured this was to counter lots of dark stuff coming but it wasn't particularly dark.

5) There was a little too much going on in general, probably should've pared back...something. I dunno what.

6) I'm SO glad there was no giant sperical space base that shoots a super hyper laser.

6b) but also deep space slow cop car chase was pretty stupid (they'll never see us leaving the ship, to go to this uncharted/forgotten planet that's literally right there, oh shit they saw us! oh shit they know where we're going!)

7) Luke was a bit too snarky. I felt they were going for his version of grizzled sorta weird lonely guy like Yoda was but he just came across sorta shitty/childish for the most part. And in a film with Kylo Ren, that's a little too much angst for me. Hamill was full on A C T I N G and he probably needed to pare it back but...

8) Ridley and Hamill seemed to have no chemistry or interest in half their lines, seemed perfectly good in other places though. Bad writing or directing I guess? It's all Rian Johnson's fault either way.

9) I could go on but probably shouldn't, one last point

10) if they knew Fisher died, why didn't they bump up her presence in editing/let her die here, and make Luke not die because it was fucking stupid how he did anyway? He could've at least been a small part of the next one by cutting literally 60 seconds of film in this one. There was no point in him dying, it was lame.

11) I kind of enjoyed the film and won't give them any more money but will probably watch it half a dozen times on cable when it's out. I think TFA was maybe better? I dunno.



this makes me more worried than excited for Rian Johnson's non-Skywalker Star Wars films. they're going to be maybe just full on Disneyfication I'm thinking.


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I hate to echo the sentiments of you miserable curmudgeons but man was I unimpressed by this! So much talent, effort & artistry on the production but it's all unnecessary filigree on a steaming pile of (boring) feces. And the trailers at the outset, from Wrinkle In Time to the new Aardman film, each one grated on me and sent me into a barrel roll of inner cringe. Likely has more to do with the general style of trailer editing at this point in time as opposed to the films themselves but damn I am really feeling the cynic communion on WATMM right now. Bring on the h8!!!

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