The Big Star Wars Thread *SPOILERS ABOUND*

[dr lopez]

from what i can deduce (or invent) the trade federation is a sort of crime syndicate with a paramilitary force that sort of horns in on trade to get a slice of the action. like the mafia... or the yakuza (because they're asian) if they don't get what they want, they either attack you with their army of retarded robots or they "blockade" your planet. which i guess causes an extreme crisis in a few days. an entire planet.

They have been easily bought off with promises of untold riches by this shadowy figure who goes by darth sidious. the "twist" is that darth sidious is actually a senator from naboo called palpatine, who is power hungry and apparently hates terence stamp.

Palpatine's plan is to play two pawns off each other to advance himself politically. He uses the dumb trade federation to create a "crisis" on Naboo and then he uses the "young naive queen" to tell the senate that chancellor valorum has fucked up and caused this crisis and table a vote of no confidence. I guess Palpatine is 100% certain that he will get nominated to replace vallorum because his whole plan seems to hinge on that crucial step. in the film he says it quite casually that he's been "nominated" but he could be pretending to be chill about it idk.

What makes no sense is makes things even more confusing is the stupid invasion and treaty business. there is no real motivation for any of that in the film or in the the plot structure. also nothing in the film makes any sense. it really is just classic show don't tell. 

Things we never see:

what the trade federation is or does

what kind of trade naboo needs before the blockade

how the trade federation got bought by sidious

what sidious actually wants

what palpatine wants (seriously there is never a scene where he privately lusts after power)

the "crisis" on naboo (padme just says people are dying)

 

i could go on. it's all done totally wrong and stupid. it's all bantha poodoo. chesko sebulba. im a boy and my name is anakin. and nobody else has a t39 hyper drive i promise you that. are you an angel. they've gone up the ventilation shaft. now this is podracing.

 

 

[Joyrex]

2 minutes ago, bitchroast said:

first sentence and i already feel you're cheating. i'm referring to the movie, The Phantom Menace. where did you source this info from ?

That was all written from memory!

But, if it helps: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Darth_Sidious

A native of the Mid Rim planet Naboo, Sheev Palpatine was born around 84 BBY during the last century of the Galactic Republic. Inherently gifted with the Force, he became Darth Sidious during his apprenticeship under Darth Plagueis. But the Rule of Two dictated that only two Sith Lords could exist at any given time; therefore Sidious killed his Sith Master and took Darth Maul as his first disciple in the dark side of the Force. As Palpatine, he cultivated a political career on the Core World Coruscant, serving as his homeworld's representative in the galactic capital.

Driven by a desire for greater power, Sidious manipulated the Trade Federation into a dispute with the Royal House of Naboo, resulting in a chain of events that led to his election as Supreme Chancellor in 32 BBY. Taking Darth Tyranus as his new apprentice, Sidious spent a decade fomenting political unrest until entire star systems seceded from the Republic to form the Confederacy of Independent Systems. The ensuing Clone Wars commenced in 22 BBY, spreading conflict across the galaxy and strengthening Chancellor Palpatine's control of the government and military.

When the Jedi moved to arrest him, having learned of his true identity, Sidious commanded the clone troopers to execute Order 66, turning the entire Grand Army of the Republic against its Jedi Generals. Shortly afterward, the Republic was officially reorganized into the First Galactic Empire, with Sidious becoming the self-proclaimed Emperor in 19 BBY.

[bitchroast]

Just now, Joyrex said:

That was all written from memory!

 

that's exactly my point i guess. the movie barely bothers explaining any of this. half of that info would've come from the novel and other spinoffs.. which is about as legit as "officially endorsed" fan fiction imo. 

[Joyrex]

1 minute ago, bitchroast said:

that's exactly my point i guess. the movie barely bothers explaining any of this. half of that info would've come from the novel and other spinoffs.. which is about as legit as "officially endorsed" fan fiction imo. 

I think the movie explains as much as you need to know at the time - had Lucas gone down the rabbit hole and shown trade dispute meetings, etc. it would have bogged down an already politics-heavy movie (for Star Wars at least).

Here's the opening crawl from The Phantom Menace:

Turmoil has engulfed the
Galactic Republic. The taxation
of trade routes to outlying star
systems is in dispute.

Hoping to resolve the matter
with a blockade of deadly
battleships, the greedy Trade
Federation has stopped all
shipping to the small planet
of Naboo.

While the Congress of the
Republic endlessly debates
this alarming chain of events,
the Supreme Chancellor has
secretly dispatched two Jedi
Knights, the guardians of
peace and justice in the
galaxy, to settle the conflict...

[bitchroast]

the damn movie makes no sense. 

i appreciate lopez (and joyrexs) efforts to explain it, but i'm still confused.

the trade federation just seem pissed off and annoyed whenever they have to communicate with palpatine.

[bitchroast]

what did he offer them? more trade? or less trade? cos they blocked the trade. what the heck is trade?

[bitchroast]

19 minutes ago, dr lopez said:

what sidious actually wants

what palpatine wants (seriously there is never a scene where he privately lusts after power)

stuff like this is assuming the viewer has seen the Original Trilogy.

The viewer knows Palpatine becomes Emperor Palpatine and has power over the universe. Therefore, palpatine's motivations in the prequels are *obviously* for more power.

Edited May 29, 2019 by bitchroast

[dr lopez]

yeah it's obvious but still it can be shown in a short scene. doesn't need to be fancy or anything. that's how film making works. dellow felegates okeyday?

[bitchroast]

8 minutes ago, dr lopez said:

yeah it's obvious but still it can be shown in a short scene. doesn't need to be fancy or anything. that's how film making works. dellow felegates okeyday?

tone in my post probably came out wrong. i'm agreeing it's a bad film that makes no god damn sense. 

jar jar even looks stoned. 

[Silent Member]

While we're at it: Can someone please explain to me what count dooku was doing and why, because I don't understand it. He was working with emperor Palatine making droids to fight the clones because what why who paid for the drones who paid for the clones and why what again

Edited May 29, 2019 by Gocab

[Joyrex]

1 minute ago, Gocab said:

While we're at it: Can someone please explain to me what count dooku was doing and why, because I don't understand it. He was working with emperor Palatine making droids to fight the clones because what why

Dooku was just his latest apprentice/pawn; He had Dooku keep the Trade Federation in check, ensuring there was a justification for the clone army to fight them.

[dr lopez]

yeah but obi wan found the clones by accident right? and the jedi who "put in the order" for the clones only did it as a defense force? or was he actually being controlled by palpatine to create a force so that years later they could fight the droids? would have been good to have a scene with palpatine where he realizes this clone force can be used to become emperor and that he doesn't need the droid army distraction anymore. or that he can use the clones as a smokescreen for his nefarious ways. like the plot sorta makes sense, but the direction and dialog is so fucking bad that it's just a mess. whole arc of the prequels should have been a character study of palpatine and how anakin and everyone was a plaything in his evil ways. certainly wraps up the originals in a nice bow too with the defeat of the ultimate baddie. a shame because mcdiarmid is probably the best actor in the whole thing

[Joyrex]

51 minutes ago, dr lopez said:

yeah but obi wan found the clones by accident right? and the jedi who "put in the order" for the clones only did it as a defense force? or was he actually being controlled by palpatine to create a force so that years later they could fight the droids? would have been good to have a scene with palpatine where he realizes this clone force can be used to become emperor and that he doesn't need the droid army distraction anymore. or that he can use the clones as a smokescreen for his nefarious ways. like the plot sorta makes sense, but the direction and dialog is so fucking bad that it's just a mess. whole arc of the prequels should have been a character study of palpatine and how anakin and everyone was a plaything in his evil ways. certainly wraps up the originals in a nice bow too with the defeat of the ultimate baddie. a shame because mcdiarmid is probably the best actor in the whole thing

Yeah - I really didn't like the dead end that created with "Syfo Diyas" or whatever his name was - how could a member of the Jedi counsel go and order a clone army, and then end up dying? I always though that maybe Syfo Diyas was an alias of Darth Sidious, but realized they'd be able to sniff out a Sith in their midst... plus it wouldn't explain Palpatine being in the Senate, etc.

I also thought Dooku might be Diyas, but then he was Yoda's apprentice, so no connection there.

Agreed on the dialog/direction (and acting) - I really wished Lucas has let someone else co-write/direct. Ah well, Disney can remake them in a decade or two and our grandkids can bitch about how the prequels were better than these remakes

[Brisbot]

I just want a Knights of the Old Republic trilogy. Exploring that part of the SW universe alone could be for the best Star Wars movies since the original trilogy.

[bitchroast]

seems absurd to think disney would spent 4 billion dollars on star wars to make a movie without the death star or han solo or chewbacca or darth vader in it. it will never happen. 

[Brisbot]

1 minute ago, bitchroast said:

seems absurd to think disney would spent 4 billion dollars on star wars to make a movie without the death star or han solo or chewbacca or darth vader in it. it will never happen. 

I hope they quit having death star type "small moons" in these movies. I'd rather just watch lightsaber battles.

Oh, and in KOTOR 1 there is a darth vader type character and a chewbacca type character so no issue on that front.

[Squee]

26 minutes ago, Brisbot said:

I just want a Knights of the Old Republic trilogy. Exploring that part of the SW universe alone could be for the best Star Wars movies since the original trilogy.

Just keep in mind that you were able to spend +40-50 hours in the KOTOR universe. That doesn't necessarily translate well into a movie. Also, it's Star Wars. It's just Star Wars.

[Brisbot]

9 minutes ago, Squee said:

Just keep in mind that you were able to spend +40-50 hours in the KOTOR universe. That doesn't necessarily translate well into a movie. Also, it's Star Wars. It's just Star Wars.

Well of course. Lol. It would be a really strange movie if they shot it as if it were a video game, with the main characters constantly stopping the plot to do side quests or grind for higher levels.

Actually I'd probably still watch that if only for the novelty.

[Squee]

4 minutes ago, Brisbot said:

Well of course. Lol. It would be a really strange movie if they shot it as if it were a video game, with the main characters constantly stopping the plot to do side quests or grind for higher levels.

Actually I'd probably still watch that if only for the novelty.

Yeah, I would actually love that.

[Nebraska]

Quote

After waiting 30 years to reprise Ackbar I was a little disappointed with Ackbar's role in that picture," he said. "So in The Last Jedi, I was quite looking forward to maybe them giving him something more juicy.

We were only given the script on the day when we were shooting that piece of script, so each day I would come to work going, 'Is today the day when Ackbar gets something a bit more involving?

And I looked at my script and I went, 'Oh, Ackbar's going out of the window. Well, that's that then!

The puppeteer then revealed that he was called to the camera after finishing his scenes, thinking that they were "going to say thank you for being one of the heritage characters and giving 30 years and all that".

Quote

But what they did was, they gave me a Millennium Falcon sign that had the day and the date on it, the scene number, and they said, 'Can you look at the camera and say, It's a wrap? Because that would be really funny.

I was actually in tears in the suit because I thought – after everything, after hoping there'd be something, after knowing there wasn't going to be anything else, Ackbar's final moment before he went in to the box was a big joke about 'It's a wrap'

They just thought, 'Wouldn't it be funny?' And that was the sum total of my life as Ackbar. I disappeared down the back and couldn't come out for 30 minutes after that.

https://www.digitalspy.com/movies/a27688302/star-wars-the-last-jedi-admiral-ackbar-actor-disappointing/

[bitchroast]

lol "it's a wrap" 

[Braintree]

It's not even funny. What a bunch of cunts.

[Rubin Farr]

[Squee]

This is the saddest thing I've ever seen.

[marf]

Big question. Why do I hate everything about Star Wars now even though I loved the first 3 and still do? Nostalgia? Or are they really better?