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Have(ing) da hots 4 da therapist


cheeseburgerwalrus

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so was up entried the business of therap and as always chose the most attractivest woman therap*st avvailabul. Reasons (not the musicsoftware) being 1) ugly womoen are hard to converse with 2) never trust a guy if u pay him fo listening to you, never, gurl u  can trust maybe but not a guy and 3) guyes feel "weard" to talk to  like "behind da closed doors". So as it always happens with da women comin from the "helping business" I fell fo her . she said som  beautiful thing last time i seen her but i have successfully forgot it and i only remember it was somtin real lush that she said and i cudnt help but blush (Be Lush)

So ye I kno (as it happens a lots in my life) it's the Transferenz thing like when u finaly have someone (doesn't matter who) who is nice and all that and listens to you and (pre)tends to care about uu kno etc etc then u develup feelyings for them lol. and like even tho u KNO it's the transferent thing it doesn't help any because that's they way it goes

t ye 

bu

seams like there are 2 schools about how to proceed from deer on 1) u, i mean I, tell da therapist and u talk about it or yadda yadda becus theyir experts and u kno beautiful thearpi*sists have c*m across it many a times and they kno how to deal with it or they don't and u gets kicked out, or 2) u don't tell (and don't get reejekked) and instead bury your fealings beneath benzos and computing etc etc and just

and since this's an IDM forum i figuerd some of u guys have therapped and probl have had had da hots 4 dem therapiz*sts so i ask what did u do and what wud u do

ss
 

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Take a bath and shave your bard and take some flowers with you the next time you have an appointment with her. Ask her for a cup a coffee and see where that leads. 

Depending on her business savvyness, she'll just keep you on the line professionally as you're an easy customer. You'll be happy talking to her. And she's paid for just being there. From her perspective, you're a gold mine. As long as you can keep your hands off, that is. ?

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I attend a mindfulness group and the coach is a rather attractive tall, blonde Swedish lady.  Whilst she is quite pleasing to look at, over time I've realised she is not a particularly amazing person other than wanting to help people out with her hygge powers (which have helped me a lot)

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1 hour ago, goDel said:

Take a bath and shave your bard and take some flowers with you the next time you have an appointment with her. Ask her for a cup a coffee and see where that leads. 

Depending on her business savvyness, she'll just keep you on the line professionally as you're an easy customer. You'll be happy talking to her. And she's paid for just being there. From her perspective, you're a gold mine. As long as you can keep your hands off, that is. ?

thank u my man. i don't have a bath no more but a shower ye....last time i seen her butiful face she had a new joe machine (a coffee maker) with her so she made me a cup of Coffee ??? Does it C0UNT? was nice tho becus on the way there i was dreaming of a cup of coffee but i knew i wuda never have time to fetch one befoe my schedeuld time

i'm not a happy talker tho u kno. some therap*ists are like that tho so u kno ho it goes, they jus want u to talk about some inane happy feelgood (not that kinda feelgood) bs ukno (well u do kno). but ye she's paid (like a hookah wudbe) 

so where do the hands com with the flower bundle? & How Many Roses...,

8 minutes ago, KovalainenFanBoy said:

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Just be smart about it.

Be truthful but with a lightness. Your feelings for her shouldn't be, or become, an issue. Also take in mind that in professions like that, 'customers' (or clients!?) growing feelings for their therapist is business as usual. That happens. It's a known and even predictable thing. She'll probably will tell you that as well. So, if you keep it light, it might not even be the end of your professional relationship, if you know what I mean. So don't make a big deal about it. But you do need to take a shower! ;)

One smart approach is to just ask her if it is the case that client/customers tend to grow feelings for their therapist. That way she can tell you where she stands, without you having to come out of the closet. Although she will start to suspect something like that, if she hasn't already. Odds are, she knew before you did, btw. Guys tend to be easy to read like that. Unless she's not a good therapist, that is.

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1 hour ago, goDel said:

Take a bath and shave your bard and take some flowers with you the next time you have an appointment with her. Ask her for a cup a coffee and see where that leads. 

Depending on her business savvyness, she'll just keep you on the line professionally as you're an easy customer. You'll be happy talking to her. And she's paid for just being there. From her perspective, you're a gold mine. As long as you can keep your hands off, that is. ?

O mi god GoD El.

I jus remembered sumthink. U talked about flwoers, I continuted thinking about walking in da woods and I rmemebered something she asked me this week. She asked like "wud u fancy going to walk along the watery creek som time we meet??? and i was jus dumbstruk like why the fuk, why man why, why wud we go walking outside during da therap* session when I always cry when i therapisize. like every time i jus start thinken about stuff and cry and hide beneath my hands etc. so why wud i wana go walk near the water in public??????????????????? 

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2 minutes ago, goDel said:

Just be smart about it.

Be truthful but with a lightness. Your feelings for her shouldn't be, or become, an issue. Also take in mind that in professions like that, 'customers' (or clients!?) growing feelings for their therapist is business as usual. That happens. It's a known and even predictable thing. She'll probably will tell you that as well. So, if you keep it light, it might not even be the end of your professional relationship, if you know what I mean. So don't make a big deal about it. But you do need to take a shower! ;)

One smart approach is to just ask her if it is the case that client/customers tend to grow feelings for their therapist. That way she can tell you where she stands, without you having to come out of the closet. Although she will start to suspect something like that, if she hasn't already. Odds are, she knew before you did, btw. Guys tend to be easy to read like that. Unless she's not a good therapist, that is.

Ye eggsactly it's a cummon thing to happen, no worriezzzz. just thinken about the 2 schools: do tell, or no tell?

 like one goes to the rap to be open, not to hide and keep secrets (secret being i think u're lush and fancy your sexy voice)

are u a gurl or not? becus when i read google i read the same thing like "she probabl knows already"!!!! So is it BAD to not tell or good to tell? like if she knows, and u keep secret, then u done fukked? I understand what u mean wows. "She knew beofre you did, btw" very well true cud be. becus she was like INTRUSIVE asking like "THERE's SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME MAYBS" and i was like i have no clue. but now i see what she meant. dang

ye you have a good head on your sooulders, good thinkings. but ye that kinda asking like "where u standing, is it common for a client to grow fealings" and it's like u kno being not honest, i dunno how to put it into words but it's like a cat walking  along the milk. like not saying it straight

i've been showering all night my man.ate some benzos and i shower lots too. 3 times a day. 2 hours a day. she asked why? i said just cry and that's what it is, can't cry alone unless showering. but ye ilike showers and i don't beard

has this thing happend to you,,,?? did utell or no?

dang sry my man i think already forgot. what shud i ask her? what was the queston

thank you for honest answer goDel.. u a good bud chears

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the cat walking along the milk thing, i'd argue, is the best for the both of you. it allows her to give her perspective without there being anything which could make it personal towards you. and for you it helps to get a feel on where she is on the do tell/not tell issue. in the end, that's between you and her. regardless of what the internet says. starting with the walking along the milk thing is the smart thing to do, i feel. as opposed to the black/white "do tell/not tell" thing. use the grey areas smartly and you will be rewarded!

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i wud lov to know why this happens.  
i mean i have fancied dentists, nurses (ofc), physiotherapzst, all kindsa "care"ing type of ladies. u kno what is fukked? many a time a gurl that is in the "care" busines only is in the "care" business becus they have som kinda mental heallth problems. i mena i met this lady, and she was in da health busnes. SO. when she was on the clock (workin) she SEEMED to be EMPATH-ful and like careing and all that. but when the clock rang and the clock card was punched, INSSTANTLY all the motherly love disappeared and a bitZZZch came in. like i wa slike wows what the fuck happens? and she like you kno "worked her ass off" just to "be" "careing" for som people. but when she was off work, civilized, she was a complete fukken horribul person. and that's how it goes i think. same as the  swedish gurl mentioned in this thread. i dun no jack shit about my therapist but i don't mind fantasies are nice too. i didn't even remember her name when i tried to remember it and ye

ye cud statrt with the cat milk but like if it's a common thing and happens ?but i figured out a plan  (if i'll rememer this). i'll ask about those other ladies, dentsits nurses etc, and why the transference happens with dem. and then the cat hass walked to milk

btw. why ddid she ask the "going outside som time" thing like why not jus be inside ?__??

u a smarrt man

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good idea.

the going outside thing might be because she has good experiences with that. or, she might think that it helps you (specifically) getting in a different mindset which could be useful for the therapy, if you will.

in the end it's really up to her. just remember, she is a pro. or should be. so she'll have a reason and will be able to explain it to you. and it's a mutual trust thing. it is important you ask her in order to build trust. if you don't trust going outside with your feelings and all that, she's the first to tell.

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2 minutes ago, goDel said:

good idea.

the going outside thing might be because she has good experiences with that. or, she might think that it helps you (specifically) getting in a different mindset which could be useful for the therapy, if you will.

in the end it's really up to her. just remember, she is a pro. or should be. so she'll have a reason and will be able to explain it to you. and it's a mutual trust thing. it is important you ask her in order to build trust. if you don't trust going outside with your feelings and all that, she's the first to tell.

dang now i remember more, i think i didn't repress/bury these memories wery well. last time i seen her she said somthing like "i WANT to be your therapist, i wana be by your side and help u" and all that., it doens't sound as nice when i write it etc etc but she said it so beaitufl i wish i had recorded it, was like the nicest thing/lie ever said to me. and she jus kept repeating it a ffew times (or maybe it is only repeating in my head, i dunno)

i mean ye i gets they do it for money (ofc) but was jus nice to hear it like them wanting to be , and not wanting/having to be becus of money. i mean if it was only money no want then it wud suck, butr it is money+"do want" then it ok, money is jus a +. it sucks to have a poor therapist. like if theyhave money problems. they KNOW how to push your buttons, and they lie&lie&lie. You "sense" they're not into it, they hate u, etc etc, and they jus have a disgusted look when they're listening to you. AND then u ask like "a problem ???" and then the lies start, "nooooo no problem, i didn't ha ve a disgusted look i just ate some sour food/a lemon". ANd becaus they're poor and NEED your money they lie & lie and you get more and more fucked in your head. becus u "kno" something by our stomach sense, but they(therapst) deny your stomach instinct 

 

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8 minutes ago, cheeseburgerwalrus said:

You "sense" they're not into it, they hate u, etc etc, and they jus have a disgusted look when they're listening to you. AND then u ask like "a problem ???" and then the lies start, "nooooo no problem, i didn't ha ve a disgusted look i just ate some sour food/a lemon". ANd becaus they're poor and NEED your money they lie & lie and you get more and more fucked in your head. becus u "kno" something by our stomach sense, but they(therapst) deny your stomach instinct 

when that's happening, you need to look for another therapist. point.

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When ever patients of mine tell me they have sexual feelings towards me i tell them back it’s a sign of their resistance to therapy bc they’d rather see me as a lover then as someone who’s about to face them with their unconscious buried feeling and also if im a lover im not a therapist and if im not a therapist he/she is not a patient and if not a patient they dont have any problem at all. It’s just a plain resistance to therapy, it’s perfectly normal but your therapist should tell you that and explain everything. If was your therapist id ask you how do you feel talking to a man/woman about your feelings, I usually do.

similary to this before, if a patient see me outside of my office and later tell me: “hey, i saw you in the park the other day but i didn’t recognize you at first” , that’s the same resistance bc = i dont exist = he’s not a patient = no problem to work on ... and i tell them that immediately bc if i dont we can progress from that point on

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28 minutes ago, cheeseburgerwalrus said:

i mean ye i gets they do it for money (ofc) but was jus nice to hear it like them wanting to be , and not wanting/having to be becus of money. i mean if it was only money no want then it wud suck, butr it is money+"do want" then it ok, money is jus a +. it sucks to have a poor therapist. like if theyhave money problems. they KNOW how to push your buttons, and they lie&lie&lie. You "sense" they're not into it, they hate u, etc etc, and they jus have a disgusted look when they're listening to you. AND then u ask like "a problem ???" and then the lies start, "nooooo no problem, i didn't ha ve a disgusted look i just ate some sour food/a lemon". ANd becaus they're poor and NEED your money they lie & lie and you get more and more fucked in your head. becus u "kno" something by our stomach sense, but they(therapst) deny your stomach instinct 

 

Oh man so many things... I can’t speak about therapists you had so far but:

- it’s wrong to do therapy for free, it’s not good for a patient (it’s complicated, but trust me). If patient is poor i tell him to pay as little as possible, sometimes even 1-2 euros, just symbolically

- you have to know that you probably project your feelings too

- google ‘transfer in psychotherapy’

- change your therapist if you don’t like him her 

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