Have(ing) da hots 4 da therapist

[YangYing]

get a bike

[Brisbot]

woah that's weird. I'm a therapist and one of my clients is this guy who constantly talks about Mel Gimpson, cheeseburgers, and walruses. He's also been here at the facility since he was a child and never learned to spell correctly. He thinks he's from Germany too from what I can make out, but you can never understand what he's saying.

[cwmbrancity]

Cover your lap with a newspaper, then underneath this Just flop your flaccid lad out, slap it around a bit to get some wind in it, then when the therapist proceeds with the session lift up the newspaper to reveal your 3inch wonder. 

Alternatively, send her flowers at her work address from a local florist with notes containing the exact same inane waffle you’ve typed here, bring a home-made lasagne you compiled out of stale semen and boiled onions just for her at your next session, follow her to her home after she finishes work as a “surprise, it’s love” surprise, masturbate furiously in the shadows while staring agog at her through a window while she watches tv at home, break into her home naked (except for a balaclava and a sandwich), then while she’s asleep wake her up and tell her exactly why you feel so much for her while standing over her simultaneously holding a semi-erect penis in one hand and either a firearm or axe in the other offering her the sandwich as a token of your feelings and to diffuse any tension, thence tell all of this to the judge at your trial that you were coercively controlled by online voices manifesting in yer bonce.

Sorted.

[dingformung]

^I like the way you think

[may be rude]

you should change therapists first and then proposition. you would be putting her in an ethical and professional quandry, otherwise. that would communicate a lack of foresight, seriousness and consideration. but if you try to do it the right way then that adds some pizzaz. you could always switch back to her after, if she says no.

[auxien]

lol at everyone taking this seriously

[Braintree]

21 minutes ago, auxien said:

lol at everyone taking this seriously

 

10 hours ago, Braintree said:

no don't : (

 

[Brisbot]

3 hours ago, auxien said:

lol at everyone taking this seriously

I don't think anybody is. It's just more entertaining to reply seriously.

[cheeseburgerwalrus]

7 hours ago, MIXL2 said:

get a bike

stoya?

4 hours ago, very honest said:

you should change therapists first and then proposition. you would be putting her in an ethical and professional quandry, otherwise. that would communicate a lack of foresight, seriousness and consideration. but if you try to do it the right way then that adds some pizzaz. you could always switch back to her after, if she says no.

i don't want to bropose,  u kno iz better this way ok lemme eggsplane. If U Wud bropose and proceed to be the Lover Man aetc etc and get into an relationship (i mean like anyehwere in life) that's when it gets all fukked up. like u are "equale" or sum shi and it's not nice. it's better this way when it's one-sided (like therapst-client, it's like being a dog. u don't have to pet the owner. but the owner feeds u and pets u. 

like i bets if u were in my shoes and like walked in them shoes and proposed well and if (hypothethicaly speaken) u wud to marry her an all that and do the dishes together and just regular stuff. i bet u wud regret it in the end (regret tranzfering from a "patient"/"client" into a Sign-if-i-can't Other. becus there's no way back. and ye like if u wuda find a real lush gurl she ain't gon fix your broplems, she just gon use you and use your problems against u. i bets this same lady ain't fixing her husbandds either???  

3 hours ago, auxien said:

lol at everyone taking this seriously

 

5 minutes ago, Brisbot said:

I don't think anybody is. It's just more entertaining to reply seriously.

One head ahead you already lolllllLLLL dizcuzzed that exact thing with da therapudist that people are ALL WAYS saying that kinda stuff like "can't believe, don't believe him, he's a lie-er, a troll"

10 hours ago, xox said:

When ever patients of mine tell me they have sexual feelings towards me i tell them back it’s a sign of their resistance to therapy bc they’d rather see me as a lover then as someone who’s about to face them with their unconscious buried feeling and also if im a lover im not a therapist and if im not a therapist he/she is not a patient and if not a patient they dont have any problem at all. It’s just a plain resistance to therapy, it’s perfectly normal but your therapist should tell you that and explain everything. If was your therapist id ask you how do you feel talking to a man/woman about your feelings, I usually do.

similary to this before, if a patient see me outside of my office and later tell me: “hey, i saw you in the park the other day but i didn’t recognize you at first” , that’s the same resistance bc = i dont exist = he’s not a patient = no problem to work on ... and i tell them that immediately bc if i dont we can progress from that point on

I don't understand really? cud u pls spell a little less rigid  please

10 hours ago, xox said:

Oh man so many things... I can’t speak about therapists you had so far but:

- it’s wrong to do therapy for free, it’s not good for a patient (it’s complicated, but trust me). If patient is poor i tell him to pay as little as possible, sometimes even 1-2 euros, just symbolically

- you have to know that you probably project your feelings too

- google ‘transfer in psychotherapy’

- change your therapist if you don’t like him her 

soz i think i wrote it a lil bad. i meant my previous therapizt was like that (money problems, lie&lie), not this current one. ye i kno it was transfer/projecting etcetc too from my part but ye it s

do u see patients for 1-2 euros? ye i get what u mean about paying. it's like u become someone else if you are not paying and soon you are the one having to therapy the therapist

 

7 hours ago, MIXL2 said:

get a bike

stoya?

4 hours ago, very honest said:

you should change therapists first and then proposition. you would be putting her in an ethical and professional quandry, otherwise. that would communicate a lack of foresight, seriousness and consideration. but if you try to do it the right way then that adds some pizzaz. you could always switch back to her after, if she says no.

i don't want to bropose,  u kno iz better this way ok lemme eggsplane. If U Wud bropose and proceed to be the Lover Man aetc etc and get into an relationship (i mean like anyehwere in life) that's when it gets all fukked up. like u are "equale" or sum shi and it's not nice. it's better this way when it's one-sided (like therapst-client, it's like being a dog. u don't have to pet the owner. but the owner feeds u and pets u. 

like i bets if u were in my shoes and like walked in them shoes and proposed well and if (hypothethicaly speaken) u wud to marry her an all that and do the dishes together and just regular stuff. i bet u wud regret it in the end (regret tranzfering from a "patient"/"client" into a Sign-if-i-can't Other. becus there's no way back. and ye like if u wuda find a real lush gurl she ain't gon fix your broplems, she just gon use you and use your problems against u. i bets this same lady ain't fixing her husbandds either???  

3 hours ago, auxien said:

lol at everyone taking this seriously

 

5 minutes ago, Brisbot said:

I don't think anybody is. It's just more entertaining to reply seriously.

One head ahead you already lolllllLLLL dizcuzzed that exact thing with da therapudist that people are ALL WAYS saying that kinda stuff like "can't believe, don't believe him, he's a lie-er, a troll"

10 hours ago, xox said:

When ever patients of mine tell me they have sexual feelings towards me i tell them back it’s a sign of their resistance to therapy bc they’d rather see me as a lover then as someone who’s about to face them with their unconscious buried feeling and also if im a lover im not a therapist and if im not a therapist he/she is not a patient and if not a patient they dont have any problem at all. It’s just a plain resistance to therapy, it’s perfectly normal but your therapist should tell you that and explain everything. If was your therapist id ask you how do you feel talking to a man/woman about your feelings, I usually do.

similary to this before, if a patient see me outside of my office and later tell me: “hey, i saw you in the park the other day but i didn’t recognize you at first” , that’s the same resistance bc = i dont exist = he’s not a patient = no problem to work on ... and i tell them that immediately bc if i dont we can progress from that point on

I don't understand really? cud u pls spell a little less rigid  please

10 hours ago, xox said:

Oh man so many things... I can’t speak about therapists you had so far but:

- it’s wrong to do therapy for free, it’s not good for a patient (it’s complicated, but trust me). If patient is poor i tell him to pay as little as possible, sometimes even 1-2 euros, just symbolically

- you have to know that you probably project your feelings too

- google ‘transfer in psychotherapy’

- change your therapist if you don’t like him her 

soz i think i wrote it a lil bad. i meant my previous therapizt was like that (money problems, lie&lie), not this current one. ye i kno it was transfer/projecting etcetc too from my part but ye it s

do u see patients for 1-2 euros? ye i get what u mean about paying. it's like u become someone else if you are not paying and soon you are the one having to therapy the therapist

 

[Brisbot]

12 minutes ago, cheeseburgerwalrus said:

One head ahead you already lolllllLLLL dizcuzzed that exact thing with da therapudist that people are ALL WAYS saying that kinda stuff like "can't believe, don't believe him, he's a lie-er, a troll"

they need to do way instain mother, who kill their babbys simply bcause their babbies can't frigth back?????

[dingformung]

3 hours ago, auxien said:

lol at everyone taking this seriously

hey shiddhead???

their's some1 really seaking for help and asken for adwise -- how can u rejekk him??? youa re a really cruel per'son asnd a bed WATT'mer, this is not what this plettform is a about (B respekkful towart the other's)

[Braintree]

I would love to show up to therapy in a $2k suit with a bunch of pages printed out of watmm threads and demand to know if I'm being trolled or not and if people are taking me seriously. Always turn the conversation back to watmm. And always give them payment/insurance info that gets declined or is out of date, somehow, after I leave.

[Brisbot]

1 hour ago, Braintree said:

I would love to show up to therapy in a $2k suit with a bunch of pages printed out of watmm threads and demand to know if I'm being trolled or not and if people are taking me seriously. Always turn the conversation back to watmm. And always give them payment/insurance info that gets declined or is out of date, somehow, after I leave.

Just assume everyone is simultaneously trolling and not trolling.

[zlemflolia]

I think you should dump her and start using general banter as your therapist instead

[goDel]

stoya (on a bike) as therapist. yeah, that'll work wonders

=D

[Hugh Mughnus]

1 hour ago, Braintree said:

I would love to show up to therapy in a $2k suit with a bunch of pages printed out of watmm threads and demand to know if I'm being trolled or not and if people are taking me seriously. Always turn the conversation back to watmm. And always give them payment/insurance info that gets declined or is out of date, somehow, after I leave.

flol

[Candiru]

This is like a booty call from a nun. Fun the first few times, until you realize you were being lured into a Satanic cult with nefarious plots. If her eyes turn red, find a new therapist to hook up with. I never had a dad to give me advice, so I had to learn these things the hard way. 

[J3FF3R00]

19 hours ago, xox said:

- change your therapist if you don’t like him her 

Sidenote: This is a thing I've actually been curious about. I have a therapist who is very nice and sweet but she just listens to me and doesn't contribute much helpful feedback. At all.

I am somewhat new to therapy (especially 1 on 1... I've only been seeing her for 6 months or so and before her I've only had a handful of sessions in the past) and I'm not entirely sure about the different schools/styles of therapy. She literally just listens and reacts a little, occasionally agreeing with me or confirming certain statements I make. She never asks any questions or digs in deep. At the beginning, I would feel awkward if I ran out of things to say because it felt like she would just look at me until I said something. At first, it made me uncomfortable/self-conscious (I felt slightly egotistical just rambling about my problems, but that seemed to be the game so I continued with it), but I eventually accepted thats how iit was supposed to go down with her so thats what I've gotten used to. I'll sometimes even drop a juicy tidbit of something serious that happened in my childhood with my family or something that would beg to have a light shined on it, but nothing. I definitely wan't more, as far as her (verbal) input goes. 

Here's my thing tho. I'm having a very difficult time convincing myself I can do anything about it. I feel like I don't want to hurt her feelings and I don't wan't her to feel like I didn't think she was good. At the same time, I've thought about telling her that I wan't more proactivity/interaction/questions but again I don't wan't to insult her or make her self-conscious. 

I'm getting my therapy at a pretty affordable spot and it's really hard to find a therapist that won't cost an arm and a leg in my city. Also, I was on a waitlist for months at this place before getting in and I feel like something regular is better than nothing. Regardless, I feel like it is a weekly outlet for blowing off steam but it really doesn't seem to be scratching the surface to make real progress... unless there is some long-game, heat-seeker, black-magic shit she is doing that I'm just not aware of. Somehow I doubt it. She is young. 

Anyway, as a therapist, what do you suggest? Should I bounce?

 

[goDel]

 

12 minutes ago, J3FF3R00 said:

Here's my thing tho. I'm having a very difficult time convincing myself I can do anything about it.

Bounce and go do an assertiveness training (because of what you said in the quote). You should have bounced a long time ago. Or rather, started the conversation with her before simply bouncing.

Although at this point, you've wasted plenty of money on her, i'm guessing. It's probably more effective (and cheap) to start writing a diary than to have someone passively experience you making sounds come from your mouth.

Don't listen to me, or the internet though. Remember: assertiveness. 

 

disclaimer: i know i'm doing stupid shit responding like this in a joke-thread. But this forum has a history of people going to rough spots. (Ok, not just this forum) So in general i tend to take this stuff seriously, even if the context implies the opposite. You never know what other people bring to these threads. Better be safe than sorry. I'd rather look like an idiot not getting the joke, than to play along having a laugh about people being in therapy. Being principled means getting your ass bit from time to times. It's just the internet though. 

[cheeseburgerwalrus]

On 6/17/2019 at 10:10 AM, J3FF3R00 said:

Here's my thing tho. I'm having a very difficult time convincing myself I can do anything about it. I feel like I don't want to hurt her feelings and I don't wan't her to feel like I didn't think she was good. At the same time, I've thought about telling her that I wan't more proactivity/interaction/questions but again I don't wan't to insult her or make her self-conscious. 

 I'm getting my therapy at a pretty affordable spot and it's really hard to find a therapist that won't cost an arm and a leg in my city. Also, I was on a waitlist for months at this place before getting in and I feel like something regular is better than nothing. Regardless, I feel like it is a weekly outlet for blowing off steam but it really doesn't seem to be scratching the surface to make real progress... unless there is some long-game, heat-seeker, black-magic shit she is doing that I'm just not aware of. Somehow I doubt it. She is young. 

Anyway, as a therapist, what do you suggest? Should I bounce?

 

Hi bro man. Psychodynamic therapy/psychoanalysis , is that what you're haveing? U kno u shud conversate the therapzst, say her alll those things like i don't wana hurt u but u ain't really helping her. 

Haven a therapist. goen to therapy and like tellin her your sekkretz and u kno not haviing much to gain from it and not-wanting-to hurt her feelengs, it's like going to a hooker and paying her to fukk u and she jus lays there not doing jack shit, in a starfish position, horribl, and tha'ts kinda the same thing u kno u're paying 

u da man calling the Shots...

"having a very difficult time convincing myself i CAN DO ANYTHING about it" why not? why man why

 

"I feel like I don't want to hurt her feelings" she won't get her "feelings hurt" if she's a professional (therapist, not speaking about hookers). 

"don't wan't her to feel like I didn't think she was good." no (as a theearapist please don't do that)

"I don't want to .. make her self-conscious. " nope nope nope

 

that's what the shit therapists say u kno. "it's real hard to find a good therapist!!!!and at this pay rate..nope nope, this tha best u gon get"

and they sayridiculouz stuff like "it's real hard to change thearpist so don't ya even try"

or "ye if your having a hard time with your therapists it means theyre doing good"

or "ye if you think your therapist sucks that means theyre doing good and youre just transferring feelings /projectin whatever"

or "ye if you think your therapist sucks that means you're onto somthing and NOW is not the time to change them"

or "ye if you think u gots to find a new therapist u are ALLways doing that can't u see .. jus runing away from your problems"

the REAL black-magic shit starts when you try to have "da conversation" with  your therapist about them being not-a-very-helpable and u saying that you're not making any real brogress. that's when it gets fukked cos the therapist gurl always knows how to make u com back. and u tell her those watmm thins and the therapist always gets u to change your mind, THAT is the black (not a slur) magik. and u go home and after 3 days home u start thinken wtf jus happened, u changed your mind even thou didn't want to. and it's like being in da most miserable manipulative relationship, u wana get out, but she always drags u bak, jus won't let u go. u kno a hooker (good1) knows how to "turn tricks" gnome sane.. but hte therapist... knows how to trick u too

as a therapist I suggest a bounce

On 6/17/2019 at 10:43 AM, goDel said:

more effective (and cheap) to start writing a diary than to have someone passively experience you making sounds come from your mouth.

good album title

[cheeseburgerwalrus]

btw told her that i dink she's fukn sexy. done the deed jus de way goDel prescribed. took a shower, then shot some test prop and straight smeared a couple ml's on my chest and neck as if it was an aftershave jus befoe i started to cummute (gurlz get wild they smell the toblerone). so i arrived.
she was wearing her old lady legs naked..........hot without ANY socks on. no shoes? maybe no shoes. or maybe she had som cute shoes. but no socks i mean. shad this unbelievably sexy bracelet on her ankle, an ankle (brace) let (made of guld). took the cat along the milk thing and proceeded to start about sum hot physiotherapist i used to hav in da past. oh it was 2 physiotherapists thruth to be honest. so i  proceeded to say she's fukkn sexy and i had forgot it always happens with ho(t) anybody, a hot dentist, a hot physiotherapist, a hot anesthesiologist, a hot therapist. and she asked what is common with those, whaddyathink. and i didn't think any i jus said their all lush and sexy as hell and all of dem seem to be sum kinda care giverzz and give u comfort and are there to heal u. so she said ye u kno why and i said ye becuz i ache to be cumforted (becuz gen banter doesn't comfort me no more ??) and she said ye but u wana be cumforted becus u were deprived...OF IT. when u were a yung'un. well duhhh... ain't like i'm a dummy. and it didn't help at fukn all wit these kinda sexxxual feelungs.

next time i took som dr's amphetamiiins befoe tha sesson and said to her (becus why not, it ain't like i have an another therapist to talk about the sexy therapist..oh wait i do have, computer. and i don't really giv a fuk if they are to throw me out of therapy, disband or whatever, so why not have metarapy and jus discus the therapy/therapist with the lion straight? in real-life normal relatonships u don't have that kinda privilege? i told her brakes my heart iz always like these wen i meat a lush gurl, i'm always with my heart on side jus waiteng and counting hours until i meet dem again. and she said u dink that's deprive, did watmm tell u that? i said yes m'am, and chatmm. she said well u kno those are the most natural things in da wurld, nuthing to worrie about, ofc if u meet a butiful lady and an interestang person, of COZZZ u gon be missing dem and wanting to see them again. she asked whaddya do when u get those kinda overwhelmeng feels. i said i jus eat sum benzos until

now i understand i'v beeng using hot gurls and hot gurls' sex with hot gurls as a wayto comfort me???? i thought shex was gon heal me. like jus ride my broplems away. and i also thought jus straight hugging and spooning was gon heal me 2. but now i think it's just the sexy comforting eyes caressing me and all those sexy "wow that's so wrong" and "dang that's a trauma u kno that right u kno u were a victim of" and etc. i don't know what is the bigfukendeal with "hugging" and being "close" etc. i think it's a hoax. u don't just hug your problems away (except if u suffocate (strangleng))  

she's gon be haveng a vacation soon (they all do) and she said she wana meet me on da vacation. i mean it won't feel like a vacation if she's gon be seeng a patent. she said we won't be talking and it's gon cost me 3 times more than the usual. iz lush becus in da past i have had ugly therapizts and non-ugly ones. and ugly ones are hard. i think the best is to pick the sexiest one. 

[Enthusiast]

In my culture therapy is for those who have been caught masturbating on an aircraft. It serves no purpose.

[cheeseburgerwalrus]

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15240657.2010.513222

https://www.goodtherapy.org/sexual-transference-countertransference-web-conference.html

https://kspope.com/sexiss/sex2.php

Table 1 - Characteristics of 958 patients who had engaged in sexual intimacies with a therapist

14%    Patient attempted suicide
1%    Patient committed suicide
17%    Patient achieved complete recovery from any harmful effects of intimacies
20%    Patient seen pro bono or for reduced fee
12%    Patient filed formal (e.g., licensing, malpractice) complaint

Harm occurred in at least 80% of the instances in which therapists engaged in sex with a patient after termination.

Especially when the patient is experiencing feelings of emptiness and isolation, the specific sexual activities previously experienced with the exploitive therapist--often re-enacted in the midst of flashbacks--may represent an attempt to fill up the self and break through the isolation. For still other patients, sex becomes associated with feelings of irrational guilt. They may engage in demeaning, degrading, joyless, painful, harmful, or dangerous sexual activities that seem to express the conviction: "I am guilty, worthless, and deserve this." Some may become so confused about sexuality that they begin labeling a variety of feelings and impulses as "sexual." They may, for example, say that they are sexually aroused whenever they are feeling intensely angry, depressed, anxious, or afraid.

 

5 The original article also noted that 14.2% of male and 4.7% of female psychologists reported that they had "been involved in an intimate relationship with a former client" (p. 454).

https://kspope.com/sexiss/sexencyc.php
Table 2 - CHARACTERISTICS OF CLIENTS TO WHOM THERAPISTS ARE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED

https://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/proftherapy.shtml 

Professional Therapy Never Includes Sex

Printer Friendly Version

State of California
Department of Consumer Affairs

[Candiru]

T H E R A P Y ifyouknowwhaddimean hummuna hummuna

[ambermonk]

On 6/16/2019 at 10:22 AM, auxien said:

lol at everyone taking this seriously

Gotta help a brotha out who tryna make a sammich outta dem big [REDACTED]