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Have(ing) da hots 4 da therapist

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5 hours ago, Braintree said:

How does she feel about computing, though?

she feel al ride about computing. thats why i was confued. she said "benxzos numb u don't and u don't make brogres in therapy if u run away form ur head"

i said i cud do the same thing with computing, macland, masterbating, shopping. so why is benzos/opyjoyods a proplem?

she said i am substance abuse. she said i have to quit. i tried to explain that yus that's why i came to therapes, but she don't see mto understand. first when we met she said benzzos r aightt and if u got pain pls eat opiads, the pain is bigger distracson than eating pain killahs.

she said between in a fancy language that i am a junk'ie. like honest. i thought therapedsists arent suposed to pee "jungdemental" or anything. and if the medicaton is Dr prescribed what i a problme?

weird thing is, when she say i'm a jjunkie i feel bad so i eat more medications. 

saying i'm a junkie for haveng to take medication is like you kno imagine a ugly sexy gurl going to therapy and explaining she has probplems with sex and she tells the story of her life and ye she's addictd to sex to run away from proplems. it's her "what she neeeds" to bear life. Ok So Imagine the therapist is all "ohhh darleng, wows tell more pleez" and having the pen in her hand. and the therapists concludes ,,,, saying "whooooore"

or biaaaaaaatch

it's the same thing. the gurl knows it but saying clumsily calling a whoare is not gonna heal her . the gurl probably gona escape into sex after the "therap"  session and sex up her problems away plow by plow

therapid doenst seem to understond that medicatonz are not the "proplem" for me (the head on my shouilder is), the mediation is the CURE/Answer. 

and the ugly sexy gurl? should she stop haveing sex just becus "sex makes u numb and u don't make progresss in therapy if u continue fukking your problemss away"

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ok therapies is a HOAX comfirmed!!!!! I explaind the therapist the "sex addic gurl going to therapy and therapist first telling da gurl like "u don't have to pretend to be anyone who you are not... here you can freely be who you are" etcetc the mumbojumbo and like the therapist concluding the sex gurl's shesson by calling the gurl whooooaaareee (ti's the same thing like what happene to me gnome sane)
and the therapist goes all "uhhh...oookkkkayyyyy... uuuuuh duhh i'm not qiute shuuuure what you mean... (she a woman so those are the girly uhhh's you kno when u hear them)

so i proceed to ask like why why why wud u call me an attic etc (last time)

first sh'es all like "blah blah blah" (in a ":) ? jus wana help u better u", then she drops even bigger shit bomb than last week !!! 1i'm like oh mi god is this really happening, doesn't she even fukkn THINK let a lone HEAR what she's letting out of her mouff. she said to me that i LOOOKK lik e a drugg attic. I ask Why i look like that? she says ye that's the feeling i get from you. i ask where is it comeing form, the drug attik wibe. she says "yessss you know somtimes when you come here you look tired and slow and you just havve this look". i aks like....??? "I look slow and tired?"? 

i udnnno if this was 1 moment when she realized what she had said (or what) but she goes all "i'm just worried abot you", says that kinda stuff. (meaning: tryna change the subject) etc

then i ask like you saying i look like a drug attik,,,, would you say "you look like a sex attik or a whore" to the sex attic gurl i tried to make an example of earlier...she goes all "uh no i wud not" i ask like why do u say that to me then

"don't think about it"
yes not think about it yes gonna solve many a problem.....no apolog no nothing no sorry no nothing
just "try not to think about it"

then she starts raising her voice and talking ina more and more patron-izing voice. just sux
like i dunno really whaz wrong with me when even a therapist goes ballistic and says that kinda stuffffff. just makes me sad. looking like a junkie

just an another insurance scam. i thought she would be good therapist but must have been just the lust from my part..(transferenz). she doens't kno jak shittttttt

chears and don't go to therapy

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Just tell the therapist you have nightmares about being chased by midgets who catch you and tickle you ruthlessly. She will roofie you so hard and you will be cured of all therapeez for life. Worth a shot, worked for friend

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hoenestlty speaking it went like this from that

1) first i say like UH ??? what else to do in therapy when learning how to handle feelungs, but really don't know ho to handle yet, becus hasn't bene in therapy for a long time and don't know the "technics". like when waiting 4 da therapy to kick in what to do in the "mean time", during the Waitin gtime. like now...if panikk attakkx cum what to do other than take xannaz, becuz i wud want to learn to handle da feelungs in more lush wayes

2) she say ye good gueston, lez talk in da future. and she says like "i'm kinda worry about u,  yuys yus you can send private msssages or you can email me if u feeling bad, it good". i say like oh i ddidn't know chearssss i thought it wud be inappropriate but ye. she says "no thang is inappropriate in this therapy, go for it. i will answer you"

3) "if a client takes a drug he uses chemicall wayes to handle feelings that's no good" i am like , , , , , yus

4) future comes and she just starts honing it in. "substance abuse is a barrier for 4herapy". and some stuf about "drug abusers" and druggies and whatever

"it's an ethical question for da therabudist like if the patient.. ops Client. he gets bad feelung from therapy becus of some past things they talk about in therapy. so it's an Ethicall question becus the client will take xanax becus of da feeling and the therabudist knoes he will take a drug"

and she says like "Uh Uh I don't really know how one can do therapy work if one is lushed out from the drukqs, like if one is numb from them, how one can work with feelings if numb"

i try to explain like maybe it's a differen thing like a) getting high for years so that you don't even feel feelings and forget you even had feelings (would take lots of drugs)

and like b) maybe stopping the panix and butt-in-penis feelings if it gets too much etc.... and like since in b) don't kno any other way becus hasn't learned good wayes from therape

like in b)-man you are not "Numb" all day long, you are just numb from time to time and you kno you feel like shit??? and like if i was a)-man i wud not even come to therapy bcus this is expenzive, i wud use therap money for the drug

5) she gets it all backwards. everything, like sheayes she understands but really probs thinks what did he jus sayi say yes wull dah don't you remember that's why i asked the guestong m'lady, was a gueston about how to handle feelings when it can take time in therape to learn the good behaviyour

6) then the fuckken "you look like a drug abusah, you are kinda tired at times and you have this look like blabhablahblah" and she KNOWs it's dogtor prescripd medications so i don't really even understand how it's her business to walk on the other dogtors's shoes

7) and i ask like why u say it like that, why do u first say i am a junkie and then to "make it good" (but not apogolize) she says it's just what i look like so she gets the vibe from me. and to make it all good like to talk it out, she says i look like a substance drug abuser. well i ask like how wud that feel like wud u say that to an alcoholicist or  a hooker, like wud u say to them "well u just look like one"

8??) mad talking about some fukeng Psychotherabuttic stuff and breatheng stuff.. i say if they had helped me i wud not have come to therapy rite?? fukken "cold showers" (golden) don't really help if u shower for 3 hours daily just to try to forged

9) I priwhat message her and ?? if i was true-ly numb wud i feel this bad m'am??? (we been sending ee-males during this time so it's not in-abbroriate)

and fkk it just HURTz when she says stuff like that, like you are, you look like. like being called things like that when went to therapy 1st becus of old mama/papa things like they calleng me stupid ass names and all that and she knoes. and like jus get real bad feelung from being treated that way even in therapy

((and when i ha ttried to ask her during the meetings like why she say like that, why not ask, why no nothing. and every time i had asked some questiong (like why) she Allways reply the same. this: "Golly good guestong. I don't know how to answer it qiuck, it's a big guestson and would take some time to think about da answer"))

and in da emale i ask some guestons etc, like now she knoes the guestons befor hand so she won't say "hard to answer...." 

(really it feels so fukn stupido when you try to ask __anything__ and no reply never)

and now she does the SAME thing...like i dunno whaz wrong with me when even da therapudist does the same thing, jus tries to put me down etccc

10) she answers: Hello mr.Cheese. Therapy Is Not Done In Email. I have reserved time for you on . . . . . If you are not coming, please inform me the day before.If you need need help, please contact your local hoespital (during the office hours). If you need criticall help call this number (free) r0909909. If you are feeling suicidial call this number 34567"



like JUS like a robot messageng. beforeeeee she had answered some guestons but now nothing. lol. and i don't know what happened to the "you can email me it's not in appropriate : ) ) " thing. it changed. btw weird  thing is that "If you ain't cuming" PART. becus some time ago (~2 weaks ago) i com to therapy and she open door and she just blurts it out "i thougt you would not be comeng, i didn't know if you come or no". I am like "whattttt why not come? and why didn't you just ask?" well you got it right no answer. and i say like i wud have informed her i am not coming if that wudave been the case?? she is like "uhhh"

so i dunno if she is putting on the "Heat" to get rid of me

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  • 5 months later...

The first thing you do when you get into prison is make someone your fren. Just so they know you're not messing around. After that you can make more and more frens. Get cigarettes. Maybe make frens with a shank for good measure.

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Learn 2 make da hooch wine. U will b rich(prison rich) (meaning you can eeny meeny miny mo your hoez) (prison man hoez)

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