workplace resistance and civil disobedience

[splbt]

been reading some critical theory about work, which–considering the average employee wastes several hours a day, many of them browsing porn (suboptimal source, but hey, fite me), and that service employees, as a group, steal more than shoplifters every year–got me thinking it'd be interesting to hear if and how all y'all perceive and manage workplace boredom, general feelings of deprivation, etc. etc... there'd be reason to believe these stories more often than not remain untold, and that they should see the light of day. if not for finding common ground and solace, then at least for our entertainment

i'll start: on the odd occasion that i do go to work (still studying), i'd estimate i spend more than 50% of each workday on cyberloafing/just passing time by, like, walking around, just waiting to go home. on a previous office job i made a habit of "working from home" when there was simply nothing left to do. back when i was in retail i also stole underwear (lol) and, together with another employee, found $50 under the till that we split between the two of us. i also used to refuse wearing the designated brand clothing because it was just so fucking ugly. one day the regional manager walked in, looked at my sneakers, and then at my boss, who apologized and later chided me for making him look bad by not having control over his subordinates. the following weeks the manager passed by much more often than normal, presumably to monitor me. that same company also tried to dump my weekly hours below what my contract allowed, forcing me to talk to management and snitch in order to afford rent. but i suppose the latter aint so much workplace resistance as the rest is

how about you? are you reading this at work? what else do you do to the man™? any fun/silly acts of insubordination?

and yes, we do live in a society

[YangYing]

I like to take off my trousers and pants and take a shit in front of everybody as a form of protest, I do this once a week on Tuesdays.

[zlemflolia]

When I'm waiting for my code to compile I browse technology and science related news.  They can't complain, if they fire me I will just work somewhere else and be happy for the vacation in between.  I also walk around the halls a lot and look out the windows.  Most of the time when I remember at lunch, I stay an extra couple of minutes longer than I planned to, doing absolutely nothing at all except wasting time.  This level of brute force rebellion is hard to reach but you can all aspire

[splbt]

^ a true disciple of scott's anarchist calisthenics

You know, you and especially your grandparents could have used more of a spirit of lawbreaking. One day you will be called on to break a big law in the name of justice and rationality. Everything will depend on it. You have to be ready. How are you going to prepare for that day when it really matters? You have to stay ‘in shape’ so that when the big day comes you will be ready. What you need is anarchist calisthenics. Every day or so break some trivial law that makes no sense, even if it’s only jaywalking. Use your own head to judge whether a law is just or reasonable. That way, you’ll keep trim—and when the big day comes, you’ll be ready.

[hello spiral]

Where do I start. I'm notorious. It's been relayed to me second hand that mangers have discussed spotting me walking down the road in flipflops with a beer in my hand when I'm still supposed to be on shift, and laughing about it.

[Somanymachines]

When I worked full time my day consisted of…

Arriving a little late, but not enough for anyone to really say anything.
Slowly getting a morning drink and sometimes breakfast.
After 30-40 mins of arriving at work, I may actually start some work.
Any work I did, I would stretch out so that it took at least twice as long to do.
I drink a lot of fluids so go to the toilet often and would waste time in there.
Sometimes I have slept in the toilet or spent time masturbating.
I would leave slightly early for lunch and arrive back slightly late.
I would waste as much time in the afternoon as the morning.
I would control toilet breaks so they are always when I am at work.
If I had to go to any other part of the building I would waste time walking around.
Any work I did in the afternoon I would stretch out to make sure I left on time to avoid being given another unexpected task before I was due to leave.
I always left slightly early to go home.
I stole that much stationary, that I still have a small supply of pens, pads, folders etc to this day.
I always took 2-4 weeks off ‘sick’ a year.

Despite all of this I was still one of their better employees. I have also known other colleagues to spend the afternoons asleep under their desk. Another would disappear out of the fire escape for a few hours to go shopping. Another would spend the best part of the day in ‘meetings’ they had made up and also on endless cigarette breaks.

During full time work, I was probably productive for less than half of the day. Other colleagues even less than that. I am a firm believer that forcing people to spend their day at work does not encourage productivity. In fact it encourages the opposite. Especially in office jobs, where a lot of the time they are a glorified social event.

[milkface]

That was a depressing read, can't wait to start work!

[Lada Laika]

6 hours ago, MIXL2 said:

I like to take off my trousers and pants and take a shit in front of everybody as a form of protest, I do this once a week on Tuesdays.

Turdy Tuesdays is the next ice bucket challenge

[donquixote]

I do a slightly too big microdose regularly. This is especially good as we get drug tested and they can't test for this. I like hallucinating in meetings. I can't say it's helped my work much but I do feel a connection to several of the office plants. 

[luke viia]

I, uh, actually work all day... rarely get time outside of two 15 minute breaks to fuck around. Ten hour shifts, on my feet the entire time. Some of my coworkers just get on the internet and waste time when it's slow, but there's plenty they could be doing. Pretty annoying. 

[zkom]

2edgy4me

[Joyrex]

Now you know why I started WATMM

[drillkicker]

I work at a farm where there is no time to get bored

[drillkicker]

But there was one time that the boss was gone and I was tasked with harvesting peppers (which is a relatively painless job) when my coworker got a call and found out it was time to spread manure.  It was a hot summer day with not a cloud in the sky and we had to go into a stuffy chicken coop, shovel 300 gallons of manure, and spread it by hand over a field.  We finished early and immediately clocked out and left to go to the bar, not even looking at the time.

[diatoms]

6 hours ago, donquixote said:

I do a slightly too big microdose regularly. This is especially good as we get drug tested and they can't test for this. I like hallucinating in meetings. I can't say it's helped my work much but I do feel a connection to several of the office plants. 

Haha:)

1 hour ago, Joyrex said:

Now you know why I started WATMM

Thanks Goodness for

workplace resistance and civil disobedience!:)

[Ivan Ooze]

I do a slightly too big microdose regularly. This is especially good as we get drug tested and they can't test for this. I like hallucinating in meetings. I can't say it's helped my work much but I do feel a connection to several of the office plants. 

lol


I check watmm/internet all the time, play solitaire whenever i can and blast the most insane music 8hours a day on the workfloor through a 100watt stereo.
Cut my toenails en trim my nosehair. Ignore everyone at my 15 min break to take a nap wherever i can. Sometimes have a few beers before work, depends on the shift.
But i do my job and i'm a good slave, boss can't complain

[Braintree]

I just started a new job. We had a "lunch and learn" session today where the company provided a lunch but we had to listen to one of the guys from headquarters talk about the business side of things. It took an hour and a half and I had to focus on the job, so I took it that it wasn't a break and that I was still on the clock. So I went for an hour long walk around the area.

At my last job I was told I was being laid off three months beforehand, so the entire last month and a half was spent applying to other jobs or dicking around. They had a lot of left over beers that I would steal out of the cooler and take home or drink in the park across the street.

Otherwise, I get my shit done. At the end of the day, that's what really matters.

[YEK]

I suck the proverbial cock of work.

[J3FF3R00]

I’m not cut out for full-time/ office jobs. My most recent full time gig was a couple years ago and, although I was paid well, I worked like a fucking slave for a bunch of ungrateful backstabbing pricks. 

I’m not sure if it would have been considered  “civil disobedience” or not, but I fantasized that when it was my turn to choose where order lunch I would pick a vegan restaurant to piss off all of the republicans and macho losers I worked with. 

Unfortunately, I quit before I got the chance to do that.

 

[iococoi]

resistance is food tile

[diatoms]

21 minutes ago, iococoi said:

resistance is food tile

uhhh, I ordered a Borg-er

[Zephyr_Nova]

Sometimes when I'm driving to someone's house with an order of food and GPS says "in 400 meters, turn left" I fire back with "in 400 meters, suck my dick!"

*it's more like "in 400 meters, ^suuuuck myyyy _diiick!!" with words going from highest to lowest pitch for maximum disobedience.

[dingformung]

I draw paint pics of people jacking off while shitting. Sometimes I mail it to colleagues

[zlemflolia]

23 hours ago, splbt said:

^ a true disciple of scott's anarchist calisthenics

 

 

Really good article.  It's important that we don't hand our brains over to the circuits, and especially to other brains

[Braintree]

Man. People get really offended when you don't eat the same stuff they do. Sorry, wrong thread.