Polytrix
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Posts posted by Polytrix
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I see that Maths is like a mainstay in eurorack stuff. What exactly does that do. Genuinely intrigued.
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Yeah, fair enough I see that.
I remeber when I first got Ableton I was so massively overwhelmed so it's all just a process isn't it.
Eurorack on the other hand. To me that's beyond complex.
21 minutes ago, xox said:Firstly, i said it after 32 hrs long shift; I’m chronically tired of the fact how much I work and how little time i have for music!
Now, the problem i have with Elektrons, and hw in general is that they are mostly not flexible enough, at least not for me and kind of music i like to make in my precious rare free time.
Yes, i can still make something interesting but I always have this sense of discomfort while Im constantly trying to overcome limitations and it’s becoming tiresome. And then out of nowhere i make something with Elektrons that makes me see things in totally different ways. I just don’t know what to think about OT!
I’ve bought MDUW and MNM in 2016 bc Elektron announced that they will discontinue them and I wanted to try them and see if they’re any good, for me. The industrial design is second to none imo btw! I just feel them, can’t explain it.
The sound of MDUW is beautiful but percussions are not that important in my music so I haven’t been using it much. But I’ve been using the Mnm a lot! The looks, feels and the sound of it is like made for me. Handling a bit less! The sequencer is a bit dated now... it’s starting to become kind of a hassle tbh bc after using sw in parallel it’s increasingly harder to go back to the limited world of hw. To be honest, if Mnm wasn’t sounding so good to me I wouldn’t bother keeping it so long and fiddling around with it. Mnm is the last hw I’d sell!
So, to return to the OT... it doesn’t sound good at all (transport and pitch functions), it’s hard to get it musical, it’s hard to find purpose for it with all this sw around (and max)... how to justify 1200 euros?! Not easily imo! I can make it sing but work on it is just so fakn stiff and I always have to work the way it wants! It... wants! Yes, i can find ways around it but with too much effort... that’s just tiresome and mostly not worth it. The Mnm sounds like nothing else and i was tolerating this bc of how good it sounds! What hw is good for is for loosing my self in the moment, something that’s precious bc it’s healing! It’s hard to experience this with sw but it pays off with better musical results.
And then again i do something with OT that makes me think it’s the best thing ever! I’ve made an experiment with the OT... the goal was to make a track with the least amount of energy, time and resources used: just a few random samples (Mnm was used as a source too), only one pattern, no conditional trigs, no fills... as plain as possible, rec as stereo out, one take.It’s a mediocre track at best... it gets better after few times you hear it but still a mediocre at best. But, relatively speaking, giving how little I invested it makes me think I should keep the OT and give it another chance... at least until i could speak maxmsp fluently.
That track is insane
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Yeah and you've got a studio full of cool shit, so I mean...happy days!
I'm ridiculosuly excited about JV1080 + Midiverb2. I'll probably stop buying gear now as that's all I was really after.
I need to get better at controlling the 1080 FX though as I want delay lines too. I'm not sure if the midi verb can do verb + delay at the same time.
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I'm feeling better each day to be honest. Like coming back into myself
I'm going to get signed off for a few weeks as of next week.
Waves of pride and understanding coming back. Thanks everyone. This has really helped me a lot.
Love to you all.
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HAHAHAHAH You're really funny.
I just kind of feel like less is more is always the rule. Far too expensive.
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The thing that strikes me about all of this is that I really admire how you guys can even use this stuff so quickly and easily.
When I look at that eurorack stuff or even the digitakt I'm like, ''sorry what the hell do all those buttons do'' - I feel it would take a huge amount of effort for me to make music with something so complex. Is it a really steep learning curve to use something like the digitakt when you're just used to Ableton with a few simple external devices? I admire you lot!
I think I'm more sort of traditional in how I see music so like if I can pick up a guitar and start being super expressive and free in that way then that immediacy is what I love. A whole rack of modules just doesn't feel like that to me. I'd be like..no idea mate.
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Yeah, fair enough. I actually know that the CBT therapist I work with is EMDR trained so if it comes to that then I'd do that straight away yeah. I know about EMDR actually.
I think it's more that I have PTS rather than PTSD. Will get signed off work now for what is usually, apparently depending on the person 4-6 weeks for the brain to process and recover. I'm feeling better each day but going back to my job after a week off where I basically just loved up with my gf in a bubble of a avoidance wasn't helpful. Welcome to the NHS right! Fuck.
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Thank you everyone. This has genuinelly been helping me a lot. My manager is behaving all embarrased and weird. Staff wellbeing and safety was totally ignored. Expect for this to blow up on the news in the coming weeks.
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That's very kind thank you. I'm starting to feel a bit better each day really like my energy is coming back. Start counselling tomorrow so yeah, it's kind of terrifying as I'm going to have to hash up a lot of stuff. Lots of tears to come I think
I'll be OK in time I'm sure.
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Thank you very much! I toally threw myself under the bus. It's mad when I think back on it. It reveals so much about yourself when you're forced to operate in a crisis.
It's kind of scray to realise how prepared I am to sacrifice myself for others. Good and bad. I bet there are tonnes of NHS workers off work with the same as me right now. Madness.
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What's really interesting for me now is that upon reflection is so clear how royally fucked over I was. A newly qualified Speech and Language Therapist thrown into a frontline role and thrown like a rag doll from Covid+ ward to covid+ ward doing everything you can possibly imagine..yes, that too and yes that as well. But I was just like in crisis mode I couldn't see past it. I should have been withdrawn. Most of my colleagues were doing their normal jobs in some capcity or another whilst the newly qualified was sent off into the fray. The whole redeployment situation was incredibly poorly managed. I appreciate it's unprecedented but come on, it's just not appropriate. Now I have to come to terms with the fact that like patient care is massively variable and in some cases really horrendous and that's who I work for
It's a really horrible reality to come to terms with but I suppose I have to or I should probably quit. It's like realisations that like staff who have been working in the service battle with their entire careers and I've been exposed to the extent of it during a pandemic with no training, supervision or oversight. I'm amazed I didn't get Covid but I'm certainly an emotional wreck and now in recovery though. I deserve an appology and atleast some kind of recognition surely. I bet there are tonnes of staff feeling this way. Really sad. Do you know what I'm going to do though, I'm going to sort my head and return an even better carer than I was before and continue to advocate for patients in the same way I normally do. Huge personal growth coming my way I think but I need to sort out all these thoughts.
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Haha. Oh my god to be fair the clapping during the peak weeks totally set me off in tears as I felt appreciated. I've gone through this massively traumatic experience and feel totally unrewarded for my tireless efforts actually. I think I'm processing a lot of resentment as I was just treated like a fuck puppet the whole time and barely thanked. I did from the patients at times tho so that's wonderful
The clapping was nice and very emotional for many of us in the first weeks. The whole health service was being totally hammered by this fucking thing. Grrrr
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2 hours ago, cwmbrancity said:
Eh oop duck, frontline is a battle. I don’t want to patronise you with “thank you for your service” line, but I work with ptsd clients & mental health cases gone tits up due to failed care plans. If you want any guidelines for approaching primary care gp’s or first-step self care methodologies, more than happy to help. Clicked on your profile but couldn’t see the dm button. Fully respect your privacy too & don’t mean to pry.
An olde mate is/was a veteran of community high dependency care, mainly doing palliative care packages ie people who want to die at home, got redeployed to a&e and his words mirror yours. He’s had lot of experience dealing with death after death & he’s staggered by this shit.
Take some time the next few months. Extreme stress can subside naturally over time, but every situation & person is unique even if themes overlap. EMDR would be my best advise if things are on top, but it’s face to face & access is thorny. That’s where advocacy works. Anything I can help with send us a dm. You’re not alone.
Thanks to you especially. Yes, I think it's like I'm experiencing this massive come down off being totally wired for weeks. Extreme stress you've put that very well. I need to sort of calm back down and stop feeling so wired all the time but yes, it's going to take some time.
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Pleasure. I was literally fulled on adrenaline for like 5 weeks and now coming back to my normal job feels like a life ago. It's very odd. I'll be OK I think but jesus, life time of learning in one experience.
Look afer yourself people and take this seriosuly. It's taken a huge chunk of the UK elderly population.
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Thank you very much everyone. Luckily I'm very self aware and aware of mental health. I've actually already got a contact with an awe inspiringly good CBT psychotherapist I've worked with in the past who has been guiding me really well (for free too as she's so lovely) and I know what to do now to work through this but essentially I'm really at risk of PTSD if I don't process what I've actually been through. I think my mood has dropped too and being really crap with self-care etc so I'm going to address all that really seriously now. It's actually quite therapeutic just for me to type here about what it was like even though I know this really isn't the forum. Ultimately I've got to face what I went through and sort of work through all the emotions. Not easy tho as it's all been compartmentalised away as it was so traumatic for me. I had no training, no explanation of what I should and shouldn't be exposing myself to so I was totally vunlerable not only with regards to exposure to the virus itself but also like, I was being treated like a HCA when I've never done that before so I was doing an entirely different job and thus also exposed to how pressured the NHS is and how lacking care can be especially at a time like this when people, in mind, deserved so much love and respect. Dying in hospital without no loved ones able to see you and dying so rapidly is just horrible. It wasn't just the exposure to death that has upset me it's also just the brazen lack of initiative and proactivitiy that staff that were doing this as a day job were exhibiting at the time. It's understandable though as people didn't want to expose themselves either but I of course did in every conceivable way and in any way I could....luckily I think I actually caught the virus in the early days of it being rife in this area so thank god I didn't get it full on (I assume I have antibodies basically - I'm awaiting testing. Interestingly 95% of all the staff who have been tested for the antibodies this far have all came back as saying they have it - so that means the majority of frontline staff were totally exposed during this perioid too despite the PPE etc etc)..so i mean that's crazy too. Yes, there are huge positives I will take from this, profound realisations about life and death and the NHS too and I did meet and work with some incredible lovely people but yeah..lamb to the slaughter.
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Thank you that's very kind. Yeah, I just keep breaking into tears all the time. I need to start looking after myself again as I basically in crisis drive mode for five weeks running off adrenaline doing everything I could for just this incredible old people who were all succoming to this and we all felt totally helpless. I think there's going to be a huge surge in NHS employees seeking mental health support.
I was in a wonderful place before my redeployment and this has absolutely set me back by a country mile.
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I work for the NHS in England in Birmingham and was redeployed as a Health Care Assistant (normally I'm a newly qualified Speech and Language Therapist - I only started in early January!) during the peak of deaths in my area. I'm now off work recovering with what is probably post-traumatic stress. It was absolute chaos and really horrible. I've learnt a life time of lesson in like 5 weeks and should probably write a book about my experience or something. Crazy. I'm really terrified about a second wave, I'm pretty much going to refuse redeployment if that happens again. From my experience on the ''front line'' I personally think the way the UK has handled this is absolutely appaling and as much as it's shit, I think we should stay strongly locked down for as long as we possibly can genuinelly as otherwise an even more sizable chunk of our wonderful elderly population will be wiped out.
It's positive obviously that death rates are continuing to drop around the world and that's amazing right, I'm not a total doom merchant but I just think the general public have no idea how many people have and will die from this.
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I want on this too
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If anyone wants to know what it's like working 8:30-4:30 on an NHS ward in Birmingham right now, I'm the man to ask. It's really bad here.
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Damn. I mean; I can still have a lovely time getting out in nature and just generally chilling but if it's all shut up then it's far less an attractive prospect. Just that I've got the airbnb booked and KLM flights ready...
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Do I bother going Amsterdam?
Due to depart March 21st.
????
Sounds like almost everything is closing up. I still like the idea of chilling at my airbnb all the same but it'd be nice to eat and drink out too and get a smoke as well..really not sure now.
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I find this pretty harsh to listen to!!
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Nice! How did the new album translate live?
I adore ''Descending'': incredibly epic stuff.
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Has anyone revisted this recently? Really enjoying again.
the watmm GAS thread
in EKT General Discussion
Posted
EXACTLY how I feel. If I could connect a guitar to a synth and have the same experience I'd be totally sold. I look forward to that happening.