Guest Rambo Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 k i can see no-one's impressed here. Let me give you all a run down of my Christmas '01 regime Get up at 7AM to roll my first joint of the day, which actually consisted of me just holding a £20 bag of skunk in my hand, setting fire to it and snorting that shit into my lungs. I'd get up extra early because if i didn't, by 7:20 my dreams were never as fucked up - a sure sign to hit the leafy fuckjuice for any self respecting mong merchant. 7:03am- Hoovering - off my fuckin tent. I'll usually throw the blue peter theme tune on in reverse to keep me from falling over. 8:00am - shut off the hoover and get to my feet. This can take up to 20 minutes but sometimes only 5 if i've only smoked 500,000 superskunk joints the previous evening. 9:45 - Grab my portable gas stove, empty 7 ounces of resin onto it, then place the stove in my isolation tank. I'd then heat the stove and let the weed slowly cook on top of it. While i'm waiting for the isolation tank to fill up with da good stuff, i'd then head upstairs for a fight and an incredibly powerful bong. 10am - i'd seal the isolation tank and lie in it twitching for anything up to 3 hours - 6 if i lose consciousness which i often did. It's here where i do most of my best painting - all in my mind obviously, when i can think, that is. It was during this Christmas that i had my first hospitalisation but the ambulance man was a stoner too, so it was hi fives all around when i could see again. 1-2 pm - I'd have a pure ganja sesh with whoever could hang with my pace (very few) . I'd often be caught stuffing thousands of pounds worth of sweet, sweet cheeba into my face because of my partner being such a slow joint builder. I blame this for my diminishing circle of friends actually, that and their jealousy. 4:30 - by now, my smoke buddies would nearly always be unconscious or vomiting, so at this point i'd usually head up to The Torture Rack, which was essentially nothing more than something you'd expect to see in a sado-masochists dungeon but with 15 bongs attached and with various tubes all going into my mouth. It was a custom build, naturally, as none of the grow shops could satisfy my needs. You see, the beauty of this thing is, i'd have to strap myself in and the tubes would all be attached to a mask fastened to my face, so basically once you've lit the bongs there's no escape because it takes me 15 minutes to release myself. I'd easily kill 800 quids worth of sticky brown shizzle into my jive pipe with this bad boy every single night. I'd have Howard Marks weeping like a mother at an especially lovely wedding ceremony on this monster. I wouldn't allow anyone on this but myself to be honest, because i wouldn't want no jail time, as the weed is weak in there. 7:15 squats 7:30 - i'd sometimes have an incredibly powerful joint around this time. Sometimes i'd just have a coffee, if i'd been violently ill in the previous 3 hours. If there's blood in the vomit, i won't bother for a bit. 7:55 Usually around now i would be setting up The Torture Rack for tomorrow night, as i usually can't feel my arms after 10pm 8:30 - Lots and lots of high grade bush, chased with some government grade, liquid thc, which i'd get from a guy in scotland who thought he was at my level. 9:30 - i'd usually be winding down at this point, just chilling out and getting incredibly stoned to old Blues shit and staring at photos of relatives that i've never met. I'd have my pocket bong with me just in case. 10:25 - 50 incredibly powerful blunts, smoked consecutively. I'd often get very little pleasure from these but it's that time of the evening when you just end up that kind of stuff. I can admit it now... often i felt like i had a quota to get through. 1am - Prayer and study Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest melotronic Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 fucking massive lols! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 lmao @ Rambo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taxman Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 oh man... it's been something like a half oz every two weeks for the past six years... minus some for dry spells and times i was broke... add some for all the weed i smoked at friends' places, parties, shows, roadtrips... and it comes out to something like four cubic yards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest my usernames always really suck Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Pleas dont read this! I am a dead girl. I Died from a fart. I thought that I was m*a*t*u*r*E & Could fFart safly on my own. So I put on lip stick and my Sunday best and went out to the fart Swing, Well gguess wat. I Didnt. (died.) So now You must free my Spirit. If you do not forward this Email to your 10 oldest relatives and Warn them about Young People tthen Kane will Enter the Arena. (Kane is undertakers Big Bro.ther) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCONES TO DIE FOR Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I can think of a few watmmers who have probably done Weed. But you'd have to ask her about that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneToThirtySix Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chenGOD Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 rambo saves thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pantsonmyhead Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 lolful rant post of the century Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest aron Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 i smoked a million pounds of weed yo. word up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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