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Which coach wins in a Fart Off?


Velazquez

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charlie-weis_p1.jpg

charlie weis pronounces the letters 'v' 'b' 'p' and the spanish 'j' with controlled farts

 

 

not many people know of this, thanks for spreading the info. Charlie is almost ashamed of his rare talent, according to his 1984 topps in action card.

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Tell you what, I'm Mizzou bred and usually wouldn't wish victory on anything Kansas related but in this case, it's the Mangino hands down and I'll tell you what his edges are:

 

1. Italian last name so high chance he was raised on and continues to eat loads of cured and salted meats along with deadly pickled vegetation like pepperocinis. Farts would literally bring tears.

 

2. Mangino is truly fat all around like it's been a part of his life for a long time. He has the longest colon transit time, which means his deuces marinate far longer in the colon than they should. The wind that passes over those "Dune"-esque sandworm turds and out his ass would curdle milk instantaneously.

 

3. Mangino's ass is bigger and likely gets sweatier. The timbre of a fart is heavily affect by shape of anus, moisture levels on the starfish and in the crack, and the resistance provided by the two cheeks meeting. You can bet that when he pops one, it brrrrrraaaapppppss louder than a shotta's AK-47 on the streets of Kingston

 

OH MY FUCKING LOL I AM IN TEARS AT WORK

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