Fancy Crab Meat Recipe

[Siegecow]

so im stressin out right? im really jonesin for some fancy crab meat but there's none in the fridge. everything in the fridge sucks. nothin in the cabinets either, all that shit sucks. But there is sliced turkey deley meat... now i kow what youre thinking, just grab some of that. But i tried some and it wasnt enough. it needed more (more). So lets spice this little pecker up huh? Grab your following ingredients including:

 

deley Sliced turkey meat

butter (salted unsalted, who cares)

 

Now firs step is you want to throw down your turkey slices nice and hard on the counter. Make a nice slapping sound and some juice should get near or in your eye. Now take the butter and just lightly give that meat a nice buffing, keep applying the butter until its about as fancy as you like and wrap that fucker up (the butter should squirt out a little) and eat it slowly in a dark room with a huge leather chair, fine spirits some ann raynd or wall street revue

[lumpenprol]

that's the most creative spelling of "deli" I can think of

[Guest glasse]

why wouldn't you put some old bay on it? everyone has old bay in their spice cabinet. it's like pouring some a1 on a piece of cardboard to make it taste like a steak.

[Siegecow]

to be honest we've never had old bay on hand and ive never had it on or inside my crab We'd always just pick up crab when its fresh and cheap, and eat it with melted butter and lemon

 

so i guess in a perverted twisted way youre right

 

it could use a dash of lemon

[OneToThirtySix]

I can't get turkey meat out of a crab leg, am I doing it wrong?

[hexagon son]

you see? you see what's happening? the fabric of space/time is becoming all unraveled now because some fuckers have been fucking around with 3D mAndelbrots. i fucking warned you, now we got people getting crab meat from turkeys. next we'll all being putting watmm on toast. just you wait and fucking see.

[Siegecow]

I can't get turkey meat out of a crab leg, am I doing it wrong?

 

its possible. Sometimes the claws have the highest concentrations of assorted turkey meats

 

i find the fancy crab meat goes best with a nice chardonnay mixed with all-natural 7-up (not sprite) and a plate of two saltines

 

(to taste)

[essines]

but i don't like ham.

[Guest Fishtank]

i put crab in my butters then boil

[Capsaicin]

I butter my crab and eat it

[AJW]

Crap

[OneToThirtySix]

you see? you see what's happening? the fabric of space/time is becoming all unraveled now because some fuckers have been fucking around with 3D mAndelbrots. i fucking warned you, now we got people getting crab meat from turkeys. next we'll all being putting watmm on toast. just you wait and fucking see.

You could probably get someone to photoshop this for you. Probably Plum, but it'll be a sand wich.