J3FF3R00 Posted November 16, 2013 Author Share Posted November 16, 2013 Do you have a theory as to who it is? Do you work with any gorillas? If so, that may be a possibility? I've got a fair idea who it is after yesterday. I went in at about 8.50am to get changed and in came a guy who can only be described as the Staypuft Marshmallow Man. This guy has been seen around the place but he's from a different department so shouldn't really be using this room. I caught a glimpse of him via the mirror and knew straight away he had come here to unleash the hydrogen bomb. I was changing in a little shower cubicle next to the two toilets, so i was out of sight, he thought was in there all alone so i stayed silent. He didn't even lock the door, he sat down and I heard a barely audible 'ttssssssssssss'' like someone had turned the gas on the cooker. The calm before the storm. Then an almighty ''PARP!'' like someone had stepped on a duck. From then on he sat for about another 20 seconds, his asshole coughing and spluttering, weird cracking noises and stuff. Then the door opened and the almighty stench filled the room. He muttered something like ''Damn that's a load off'' before waking straight out of the room. He hadn't wiped, flushed or washed his hands. I finished getting changed, unable to breathe. Against my better judgement, had a quick glimpse at the damage (my sleeve covering mouth and nostrils tightly) and it wasn't the grenade we usually see on a friday. It was more like beef olive and gravy with the bowl splattered like a Jackson Pollock painting. The marshmallow man had left it sitting there so that others could admire his work. Whether or not he has has been launching the grenades on a friday remains to be seen, but he is certainly the guy who has been filling the place with a deathly unhuman odour on a daily basis with his toxic slurry, which for some reason he chooses to bring to another department and leave for all to see.Dude. If I were you, I'd get there early everyday and hide the toilet paper. Or, I'd snap a pic of him discretely, print it out with the caption ''Damn that's a load off'' and hang it right where you can see it best from seated position on the toilet. This guy sounds like a sadistic fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schlitze Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Stealing the toilet paper wouldn't bother him because he doesn't wipe his ass (no paper in the bowl). But this: snap a pic of him discretely, print it out with the caption ''Damn that's a load off'' and hang it right where you can see Haha, thats a great idea. And i don't even need to sneak a pic of him to get the message across. He goes in on monday morning to unload swings the door shut and sees this pinned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcofribas Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 wait, does he wear that same outfit as the stay puff man? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schlitze Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 No, he's no sailor. Ideally he should be wearing blue scrubs and a little jewfro (no hat). Him and Mr StayPuft are brothers from another mother.... It's only the dress sense that differs. I'm sure his butt doubles as a grenade launcher, it's just that on friday he was having some technical problems, it was coughing and spluttering like an old motorbike exhaust that wouldn't start up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcofribas Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 is there a way to trap him in there right when he has unleashed? then just walk away and let him out 8hrs later? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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