Terpentintollwut Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 What's a DPE? Dick-Penis, erect? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 whatever you do, make sure she doesn't notice your DPE. For gods sake don't show her your DPE because if she were to spot your DPE this could be over before you can say downwards pointng erection. She may be a lovely person but we both know that if she ever saw your DPE it would be curtains for this relationship and that would be an awful thing for both you and, even worse, your DPE. That's if you have a DPE. I don't know obviously. what if she has a UPV? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rambo Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 whatever you do, make sure she doesn't notice your DPE. For gods sake don't show her your DPE because if she were to spot your DPE this could be over before you can say downwards pointng erection. She may be a lovely person but we both know that if she ever saw your DPE it would be curtains for this relationship and that would be an awful thing for both you and, even worse, your DPE. That's if you have a DPE. I don't know obviously. what if she has a UPV? then for gods sake, whatever you do, make sure you show her your DPE. One thing you cannot afford to do here is waste any more time not showing her your DPE. If there's one good thing about having a DPE it's meeting a girl that has a UPV. For gods sake stop reading this and show her your DPE immediately. That's if she has a UPV of course. I don't know obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rambo Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 but let's be clear here, if you don't know that she has a UPV, avoid asking her at all costs. For gods sake don't mention her UPV if she hasn't even got one. You must get out of the room immediately and stop thinking about whether to ask about her UPV. If she were to ever catch you looking for signs of a UPV she would drop you quicker than you can say upwards pointing vagina. For gods sake stop looking at her upwards pointing vagina (that may or may not exist) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Funktion Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 if you want to tell someone you like them then just tell them you like them, i dont get what the big deal is here if youre looking for a special wording which you can use in order to get into her pants then that's more complicated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Masonic Boom Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 OK, tip number one: try to get your communication off the internet. For no other reason than, it's hard to judge what else is going on with people when they're on the internets. Like, sometimes I'll be doing something else entirely (rendering a track, baking muffins, whatever) and just be mucking about on the web to kill time. I can be having the greatest chat in the world with someone, but when that timer dings, it's "whoops, gotta go!" and I'm offline in an instant. That might *look* like mixed messages to my suitor - "whoa, I thought I was in there, but then she just disappeared, I thought she liiiiiiiiked me, but now I think she haaaaaaaaates me!" - but really, I just had to go change a server tape or something. So if you're gonna be spending any kind of quality time with her (not even a date, maybe just one of those "let's hang out and chill while we work out if there's any chemistry" funtimes) make sure it's in an enviroment where there aren't distractions, or if there are distractions, they're obvious to both of you so neither of you get mixed messages. DO spend some time around her before you decide if you want to be her boyfriend/settle down/display your fuckwant. Not necessarily date-time, but in-person time. Don't be creepy and act like a stalker, but do make an effort to find out (by ASKING her, not by googling her) what she likes to do. If you ask her "hey, you going to any gigs in the next few weeks?" and she responds by being a bit evasive, she probably doesn't like you. If she's enthusiastic, suggest that you were thinking of going and see how she reacts. The trick is to listen to how she says it, as well as what she says. (Girls often don't like to provoke conflict, or have been taught that they should try to please people, so they won't say an outright "no" - but you can tell a lot from whether you get an enthusiastic "cool! I'll see you there!" or a disinterested "yeeeeaaaaah, I guess so...") You don't know what "I don't want a boyfriend" means - it can mean "I don't want a boyfriend RIGHT NOW but maybe in a little while" and sometimes it means "I don't want YOU as a boyfriend, but someone else might push my buttons." Yeah, it's nice to be wanted, but it's only really nice to be wanted because the wanter thinks that *you* are something special and amazing. So find out what's special and amazing about her (and not just obvious appearance-based stuff. What works best is a good mixture of "your eyes are so sparkley when you smile" AND "wow, I had no idea you were the pinball champion of our town, that's amazing.") (My examples are gonna be deliberately corny to stop you from reading and learning these as "lines". "Lines" do not work. The point is that you cater your conversation to the specific girl.) You've said that she mentioned she liked your poetry and your soundcloud. Ask her if she writes, ask to see her stuff. She's already let you know an interest you share - that's a huge plus! - so find out *her* take on it. Be interested in her opinions and her stuff, as well as just showing off your own stuff. As to the usual "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" crap that gets trotted out - it's manipulative game-playing crap. Only use this method if you WANT to be in a manipulative, game-playing relationship, where you are just as likely to get played as get game. (And those are usually not very fun, unless you're a total drama addict. In which case, good luck to you.) The whole "nice guys finish last" thing? Completely deceiving. Because what it *usually* means is that the "Nice Guy" believes Niceness is some performance that he puts on artificially in order to get him laid. (And then gets really angry and entitled if the woman smells a rat and doesn't respond in the desired way.) If you're an actual nice person all the time, to everyone, regardless of whether you want to bone them or not, then that will never hinder you. If you're just putting on a display of being "Nice" just to get laid - don't bother. It will *always* hinder you to pretend to be someone you aren't. So yeah. Recap: -DO spend time with her in person -DO ask her what *she* likes (thinks, does with her spare time) -DO appreciate her for liking these things and DO show it if you like them too -DO spend as much time listening to what she says as you do trying to impress her -DON'T ask questions that push her into having to give a yes/no answer. Girls hate saying no -DO listen to *how* she says stuff as much as what she says ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ -DON'T pretend, don't play games Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest viscosity Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 i feel there's allot of truth in that above statement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 ... or send her a pic of your most powerful erection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest viscosity Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rabid Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 OK, tip number one: try to get your communication off the internet. For no other reason than, it's hard to judge what else is going on with people when they're on the internets. Like, sometimes I'll be doing something else entirely (rendering a track, baking muffins, whatever) and just be mucking about on the web to kill time. I can be having the greatest chat in the world with someone, but when that timer dings, it's "whoops, gotta go!" and I'm offline in an instant. That might *look* like mixed messages to my suitor - "whoa, I thought I was in there, but then she just disappeared, I thought she liiiiiiiiked me, but now I think she haaaaaaaaates me!" - but really, I just had to go change a server tape or something. So if you're gonna be spending any kind of quality time with her (not even a date, maybe just one of those "let's hang out and chill while we work out if there's any chemistry" funtimes) make sure it's in an enviroment where there aren't distractions, or if there are distractions, they're obvious to both of you so neither of you get mixed messages. DO spend some time around her before you decide if you want to be her boyfriend/settle down/display your fuckwant. Not necessarily date-time, but in-person time. Don't be creepy and act like a stalker, but do make an effort to find out (by ASKING her, not by googling her) what she likes to do. If you ask her "hey, you going to any gigs in the next few weeks?" and she responds by being a bit evasive, she probably doesn't like you. If she's enthusiastic, suggest that you were thinking of going and see how she reacts. The trick is to listen to how she says it, as well as what she says. (Girls often don't like to provoke conflict, or have been taught that they should try to please people, so they won't say an outright "no" - but you can tell a lot from whether you get an enthusiastic "cool! I'll see you there!" or a disinterested "yeeeeaaaaah, I guess so...") You don't know what "I don't want a boyfriend" means - it can mean "I don't want a boyfriend RIGHT NOW but maybe in a little while" and sometimes it means "I don't want YOU as a boyfriend, but someone else might push my buttons." Yeah, it's nice to be wanted, but it's only really nice to be wanted because the wanter thinks that *you* are something special and amazing. So find out what's special and amazing about her (and not just obvious appearance-based stuff. What works best is a good mixture of "your eyes are so sparkley when you smile" AND "wow, I had no idea you were the pinball champion of our town, that's amazing.") (My examples are gonna be deliberately corny to stop you from reading and learning these as "lines". "Lines" do not work. The point is that you cater your conversation to the specific girl.) You've said that she mentioned she liked your poetry and your soundcloud. Ask her if she writes, ask to see her stuff. She's already let you know an interest you share - that's a huge plus! - so find out *her* take on it. Be interested in her opinions and her stuff, as well as just showing off your own stuff. As to the usual "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" crap that gets trotted out - it's manipulative game-playing crap. Only use this method if you WANT to be in a manipulative, game-playing relationship, where you are just as likely to get played as get game. (And those are usually not very fun, unless you're a total drama addict. In which case, good luck to you.) The whole "nice guys finish last" thing? Completely deceiving. Because what it *usually* means is that the "Nice Guy" believes Niceness is some performance that he puts on artificially in order to get him laid. (And then gets really angry and entitled if the woman smells a rat and doesn't respond in the desired way.) If you're an actual nice person all the time, to everyone, regardless of whether you want to bone them or not, then that will never hinder you. If you're just putting on a display of being "Nice" just to get laid - don't bother. It will *always* hinder you to pretend to be someone you aren't. So yeah. Recap: -DO spend time with her in person -DO ask her what *she* likes (thinks, does with her spare time) -DO appreciate her for liking these things and DO show it if you like them too -DO spend as much time listening to what she says as you do trying to impress her -DON'T ask questions that push her into having to give a yes/no answer. Girls hate saying no -DO listen to *how* she says stuff as much as what she says ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ -DON'T pretend, don't play games This is pretty accurate actually Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Masonic Boom Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 ... or send her a pic of your most powerful erection. Just FYI... I know this is a joke and all, but seriously - DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK. Several years ago (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) my bandmate and I signed up for a popular dating website. She got chatting to this dude on there, when out of nowhere he sent her a pretty graphic picture of his most powerful erection. Not only was she totally weirded out and cut off all communication with him but she forwarded the picture to me, and every girl she knew, asking "what kind of FREAK sends an unsolicited picture of his dick?" warning us not to message him (real name and screen name) and well, we all passed the picture around being quite rude about his bits, until it became kind of an injoke to cock-bomb one another with more and more ridiculous animated gifs of this poor misguided sod's penis. So yeah. Just to clarify, unless a girl SPECIFICALLY ASKS to see a picture of your cock (in which case, I can reliably inform you, yes, she probably likes you!) - do not send pictures of your cock. Bad things will happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest viscosity Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 this needs to be compiled into a handbook, with a glossary in the back for various acronyms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest El_Chemso Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 How could you make that post and not share the picture with us? I feel left out. I'd go with the friend route to begin with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 ... or send her a pic of your most powerful erection. Just FYI... I know this is a joke and all, but seriously - DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK. Several years ago (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) my bandmate and I signed up for a popular dating website. She got chatting to this dude on there, when out of nowhere he sent her a pretty graphic picture of his most powerful erection. Not only was she totally weirded out and cut off all communication with him but she forwarded the picture to me, and every girl she knew, asking "what kind of FREAK sends an unsolicited picture of his dick?" warning us not to message him (real name and screen name) and well, we all passed the picture around being quite rude about his bits, until it became kind of an injoke to cock-bomb one another with more and more ridiculous animated gifs of this poor misguided sod's penis. So yeah. Just to clarify, unless a girl SPECIFICALLY ASKS to see a picture of your cock (in which case, I can reliably inform you, yes, she probably likes you!) - do not send pictures of your cock. Bad things will happen. waaaaiiit a minute... how do you let someone know you like them? what better way is there than sending a pic of your most powerful erection? it's direct and to the point. clearly it didn't work on your friend but it's the only way for tne to display his feelings without confusion. you think your friend may be gay? of course (thttne) if you see her in person, point at something in the distance, say "woah look at that!"... when she looks away have your most powerful erection at the ready, then hit her in the face with it when she looks back all confused. always aim for the eyeballs. she'll know exactly how you feel about her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandi_B Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 whatever you do, make sure she doesn't notice your DPE. For gods sake don't show her your DPE because if she were to spot your DPE this could be over before you can say downwards pointng erection. She may be a lovely person but we both know that if she ever saw your DPE it would be curtains for this relationship and that would be an awful thing for both you and, even worse, your DPE. That's if you have a DPE. I don't know obviously. what if she has a UPV? I hit the next page button, and as the page was loading i had a nice slow long stretch in my office chair here, upon reading "what if she has a UPV" i was mid stretch and let out this maniacal groaning laugh and giggle. B/c I was mid stretch, I couldn't shut/cover my mouth quick enough and hold it in. It was loud. I had to walk outside to clam the giggles. Everyone in the office was looking at me like I am mad. And also like I am not working. *high five* ps "an" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 ps "an" an you-pee-vee? would you still use "an" with the initialism? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandi_B Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 i was just being mouthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiddleBot Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 B/c I was mid stretch, I couldn't shut/cover my mouth quick enough and hold it in. It was loud. I had to walk outside to clam the giggles. Everyone in the office was looking at me like I am mad. And also like I am not working. Something like that seems to happen to me at least once per diem in the office while browsing watmm.. while working hard.. i mean, during my downtime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Backson Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 no offence THT TNE, but your kinda screwed. Or you're lucky, either way. I'm sure she's already made up her mind about you based on the fact that she likes your poetry or whatever. So either she actually likes you, or she just wants to be friends. So really nothing you do will sway things. Unless your really charming or some shit. So either you've got to become like hypercharming immediately magically, or just give up. I say give up, because then you won't be disappointed if she never liked you, and if she did like you then you can have the satisfaction that you rejected her. I dunno. How the fuck am I meant to help you when I don't know anything about you or this person or whatever? Also, why the fuck would you tell her what forum you frequent and then make a post about her? Just stupid. Change your avatar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 i was just being mouthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcbpete Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Q: how do you let someone know you like them A: you tell them [/thread] (worked for me anyway) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 omg how do you tell them?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theSun Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 most girls cannot get enough fists in their asshol try thiss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcbpete Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 omg how do you tell them?! Using a combination of the below items - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Masonic Boom Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Telling someone you like them usually comes after a rather involved process whereby you first acertain: 1) whether you really, like *like* them, or just kinda, like, liiiiike them 2) how you can be reasonably sure of a positive response, rather than a punch in the nuts or having a bunch of girls photoshop weird shit onto a photo of your penis for the next month It's this process we're talking about, rather than the vocalising of fuckwant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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