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Fight stories!


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Guest RadarJammer

In 5th grade I obliviously strolled through the middle of a fight that was about to start on the soccer field, I somehow sandwiched myself between them right at the peak of them charging each other. I got knocked straight out in a blurry mess of kicks and punches and woke up with some concerned girls and a teacher standing over me and my glasses off to the side.

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British outside-the-pub fight...drinking all day...a fanny...brother and mum...disgraceful common British thick scum...biting and scratching and hair pulling...my brother smacked a guy, floored him in one...amazing to watch...the girls boyfriend (they've got a baby too, it's horrible)...pulling my hair and hitting me, and my mum is shouting at her telling her to stop, and eventually resorts to biting her hand to get it out of my hair...bleeding face, screaming and swearing at everyone...got my dad who dragged me home...my friend who started the fight and I ended up crying in each other's arms like a couple of rainy-day faggots

 

Beautiful story. This is how I´ve always imagined a average British evening. I have to try it some day.

little-britain1.jpg

 

yeah, proper old fashioned and british it was, where I live I'm sure people have been fighting on that same road for decades. In a strange way it felt llike there was a sense of community. Found out (cos my memory is blurry) there were about 30 people at the fight all in all, so it was a big, messy fight. Devon is such a fucking weird place sometimes.

 

 

When i was 15 i fought my step-dad because i thought he was cheating on my mom. He pretty much kicked my ass but i was proud of myself.

 

that's a cool story, defending your mother's honour! I tried to start a fight with a guy who was flirting with my mum when I was about 12, but i ended up just crying on the trampoline. First time I tried whisky...

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devon is weird place all the time.

 

i tried living there again because it's where i'm from but it was impossible. one of the last things that happened before i left was someone told other people that i'd been going around trying to get a gang together to go and beat a guy up, and people actually initially believed it because that's the kind of thing people do in that town. later someone came up to me and explained how they planned to take a crowbar to that guy, partially on my behalf. another bloke was going to tie him up, and drop him off on the moors.

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devon is weird place all the time.

 

i tried living there again because it's where i'm from but it was impossible. one of the last things that happened before i left was someone told other people that i'd been going around trying to get a gang together to go and beat a guy up, and people actually initially believed it because that's the kind of thing people do in that town. later someone came up to me and explained how they planned to take a crowbar to that guy, partially on my behalf. another bloke was going to tie him up, and drop him off on the moors.

 

that is strange....what town was it? I think with small towns there's a lot of close-mindedness and a lot of desperate, lonely people who's only escape in life is to start fights and trouble. I used to live in south london and never got into the sort of trouble i've been in here quite a few times...the shit thing is, i'm going to run into these people again...exeter is quite nice though I think.

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Never been involved in a real fight and only once in sort of a wrestling match with no real animosity between us. I threw the other guy on the ground like a baws, which surprised me. I tend to stay clear of any altercations that might cause me to get hurt. Who likes to be punched? Or deliver punches?

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I had been up for four days playing WoW, stuffing my face with any and all carbs we had in our home. At one point I was just eating pieces of plain white bread slathered with salted butter, several at a a time. I was literally drinking pasta sauce at one point. I was storing energy in preparation for an ultimate fight, little did I know this fight was going to occur on Earth, in my house, IRL.

 

I had been snorting adderalls to keep my accuity at its peak. On the fourth and final day of this grotesque binge, I crashed big time. I was seeing shit. I was seeing people outside on the lawn. When I looked at them they'd hide behind the nearest object... Trees, cars, mailboxes, whatever. This is during the daytime. I would sit below my second story window below the sill and peak my head up. They would see me and hide. I started screaming at my mom.

 

MOM THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE YARD WHAT THE FUCK! MOM!!!!! MOOOOOOOM!!!!!!

 

I was screaming like a wild person. I had been naked at this point for two days. I was covered in sweat and I smelled like boiled ham. The remnants of my snacking, all of the crumbs and bits of sauce and food had combined into a disgusting gray wad of organic material around my waist. My mom is outside of my door screaming at me, telling me my uncle is on his way to take me to get help. She busts through the door, breaking the small chain lock on my door. At this point I turned completely white in my mind and according to the police report I lunged at her, naked. She screams and tumbles down the stairs. She is laying at the bottom of the stairs, shouting curses at me as my uncle, who I love, comes in and says, "Hey man, come sit down over here with me." I look down at my penis. I notice I am naked in front of my uncle, who I love dearly. I lay myself down at the top of the stairs and wept while paramedics and the local sheriff stand over me. I am placed on a gurney, hooked up to an IV and taken to the hospital to receive psychiatric care (other drugs).

 

Several days later I am released. I am ordered to undergo extensive drug counseling. My mother allowed me to return to her home, only after she removed my computer and internet access. That was 2 years ago. That was the craziest battle I've ever been in.

 

Why is this going uncommented on?! Fucking mother of pearl, that post was a LOL XL

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