granty Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 "My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 22-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset—I shall be home before midnight. When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 22 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 22 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 22. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow." YOU GO GIRL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
granty Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I've just done the math, the 22 year old tennis pro penetrated the old lady 2.59 times - though I'm not sure if that means 2.59 thrusts, or he had sex with her twice, then tried a third time and failed because he was repulsed by her and disgusted with himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadameChaos Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 The .59 is the first quick time which lasts roughly half the time of the next two times. Anyone knows that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
granty Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Ah - I get it now. She must be one smoking hot maths teacher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 "My heart goes out to the family of the poor soldier who was killed in London. And as for you muslims, if you don't like the country you live in, then go back to where you came from !" ARGH! MUM! FUCK! edit: she has since deleted the post, but god damnit. my mum is so wonderful, except when it comes to racial equality :/ .. or even understanding the reasoning behind the things she complains about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
granty Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Go back to Muslamia you ungrateful bastards "My heart goes out to the family of the poor soldier who was killed in London. And as for you muslims, if you don't like the country you live in, then go back to where you came from !" ARGH! MUM! FUCK! edit: she has since deleted the post, but god damnit. my mum is so wonderful, except when it comes to racial issues :/ LOL. Did you have to have a word in private before she deleted it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoodie Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 "My heart goes out to the family of the poor soldier who was killed in London. And as for you muslims, if you don't like the country you live in, then go back to where you came from !" ARGH! MUM! FUCK! edit: she has since deleted the post, but god damnit. my mum is so wonderful, except when it comes to racial equality :/ .. or even understanding the reasoning behind the things she complains about. muslims are not a race. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
granty Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 That reminds me of the family fortunes question: Q: "Name a dangerous race" A: "The Arabs" "If it's on the board I'll give you the money myself." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Go back to Muslamia you ungrateful bastards "My heart goes out to the family of the poor soldier who was killed in London. And as for you muslims, if you don't like the country you live in, then go back to where you came from !" ARGH! MUM! FUCK! edit: she has since deleted the post, but god damnit. my mum is so wonderful, except when it comes to racial issues :/ LOL. Did you have to have a word in private before she deleted it? nah, I think a few other people argued with her before she deleted it. I saw those arguments; my god, I'm glad I don't remember them :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 "My heart goes out to the family of the poor soldier who was killed in London. And as for you muslims, if you don't like the country you live in, then go back to where you came from !" ARGH! MUM! FUCK! edit: she has since deleted the post, but god damnit. my mum is so wonderful, except when it comes to racial equality :/ .. or even understanding the reasoning behind the things she complains about. muslims are not a race. yeah sorry, i'm drunk. I just had to get this thing that my mum said onto watmm, for some reason. I'm not even sure why I posted it, because I love my mum no matter what her views are. ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadameChaos Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Ah - I get it now. She must be one smoking hot maths teacher. How else would she be screwing a 22 year old. BTW did you know that Kim Basinger is 59? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Ah - I get it now. She must be one smoking hot maths teacher. How else would she be screwing a 22 year old. BTW did you know that Kim Basinger is 59? still would Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
granty Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Yep. I love older ladies by the way - the hot ones anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Someone in my feed liked this status of some woman saying she deleted an instagram photo because people kept commenting that she should shave her thighs. This status is, of course, filled with supportive women whom are all saying variations of "you go girl". I don't find anything wrong with that. All of that is not even the point. What I want to point out is, one of those supportive women's last name is... Cockburn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cult fiction Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 reid isn't as genius as aphex twin. i can post in this thread with my manhood intact saying that, but he knows it... aphex is special. there was a time circa ~93-94 when there was nobody else BUT aphex twin doing what he does, squarepusher didn't really show up til 96-97 and then "IDM" was christened and took off..... and honestly, seriously, tom is the dude..... he's awesome he's exceptional he "gets it" and all that... but he's not richard. richard made futuristic badass children's music.... nobody else has done that. richard is still way more personal of a musician than most out there, and the fact he's willing to eschew fame and fuck off to the deepest corners of watmm kids bitching he he hasnt released an album in ~12 years? the man gets it.... he studied the KLF like i did, he knows what he's doing..... but like, while i enjoy what reid does and all that.... honestly.... come on now. come on. aphex twin is aphex twin, theres no way around that. osmund wasn't really wrong cuz like, to anyone who considers themselves an IDM head and goes onto watmm and worships at the feet of autechre/BOC.... aphex twin IS their god cuz like, dude, he's aphex twin. maybe you gotta be ~32 and have come to maturity at the time he was doing his massmedia fuckery, but like, the guy fucking laid the groundwork for everything we have now. and he never went out of his way to capitalize on what he did for $$$... in fact, when the lights shone on him, he ran off and hid for years at a time. look at the status of celebrity nowadays,.... who would do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 zole I wonder who that could be :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
essines Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 zole I wonder who that could be :p hahahah had the same thought after the first sentence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 sini ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadameChaos Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 200+ pics of a hens' night, complete with sweaty male strippers' abs and asses, lapdances, grinding dicks on chests, etc. no actual dick shots, thankfully. An old school friend posted up some (i'm assuming her) Hen panties as her profile picture, have you no dignity woman??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adieu Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 ALL THE MONOLITHS BUILT FOR CONTROL CAN NOW BE USED TO CHANGE THE CONSTRUCTS OF CREATION. THIS IS THE WILL OF THE ORIGINAL COMPONENTS FROM WHICH SUCH STRUCTURES SPRUNG FROM. IN THE RECOGNITION OF THE EVER-EXPANSIVE INTERLUDES INTO ONENESS, THE SENTIENCE OF MOTHER EARTH IS SPEAKING. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patternoverlap Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adieu Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 reid isn't as genius as aphex twin. i can post in this thread with my manhood intact saying that, but he knows it... aphex is special. there was a time circa ~93-94 when there was nobody else BUT aphex twin doing what he does, squarepusher didn't really show up til 96-97 and then "IDM" was christened and took off..... and honestly, seriously, tom is the dude..... he's awesome he's exceptional he "gets it" and all that... but he's not richard. richard made futuristic badass children's music.... nobody else has done that. richard is still way more personal of a musician than most out there, and the fact he's willing to eschew fame and fuck off to the deepest corners of watmm kids bitching he he hasnt released an album in ~12 years? the man gets it.... he studied the KLF like i did, he knows what he's doing..... but like, while i enjoy what reid does and all that.... honestly.... come on now. come on. aphex twin is aphex twin, theres no way around that. osmund wasn't really wrong cuz like, to anyone who considers themselves an IDM head and goes onto watmm and worships at the feet of autechre/BOC.... aphex twin IS their god cuz like, dude, he's aphex twin. maybe you gotta be ~32 and have come to maturity at the time he was doing his massmedia fuckery, but like, the guy fucking laid the groundwork for everything we have now. and he never went out of his way to capitalize on what he did for $$$... in fact, when the lights shone on him, he ran off and hid for years at a time. look at the status of celebrity nowadays,.... who would do that? gross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 So was that sini? meh, quotes it and does google search. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Heres a fun idea. You can have a codeword like Communist takeover or David Flowie for when you get your period! Now you can bring up your menstrual cycle in public and NOBODY WILL KNOW BUT YOU! ~Just between us girls~ This is great to post on a guy's wall. Especially if you're a guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
essines Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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