drillkicker

Every person I've found who I'm attracted to and who reciprocated the sentiment just wasn't right. What gives?

From Fanged Noumena

The people I know who went to therapists for their problems ended up with a laundry list of drug prescriptions that they didn't necessarily need. It makes me think that they're just trying to make money for pharmaceutical companies, just like regular doctors.

Honestly questioning myself intensely about going to a therapist. How can I be confident that the reality they want to keep me in is even real? It's probably just a repressive delusion that's intended to keep me in a state of submission in order to be more conducive to capitalistic subjectivation. Why the fuck would I go to these people for help? As soon as you submit yourself for "treatment" you're fucked for life.

I called the city health services and they said that my insurance does cover therapy so I'm setting up an appointment.

I've just been using cigarettes. The stress of moving is what put me in that state yesterday. Usually what happens is a bunch of stress builds up and then one tiny miniscule thing happens that shatters everything and the world goes completely evil all at once.

I know I'm not psychotic right now but I have been multiple times in the past and felt very near to another episode yesterday. I'm still really bummed out about it. I've talked about it with people before and they told me to go to a therapist but I hate institutions and have problems trusting people who are inside them. I've been starting to get over that fear lately which is why I'm trying to find services.

spliffs > joints (My new roommate taught me this equation)

Ok I can try that tomorrow. Unfortunately I live in a city that's filled with homeless schizos so it makes me feel like it's a pretty hopeless situation.

Zephyr got himself a florian hecker girl

I've been concerned that I might have schizophrenia but my health insurance doesn't cover psychotherapy. I really want someone to tell me with certainty that I don't have it.

I don't think you're supposed to have a car if you live in são paulo

I saw someone walking through downtown bmore today who I know from a different town a long time ago and who I never expected nor wanted to see again. Currently planning a move to São Paulo.

I think the primary difference in our ways of understanding capitalism is in our treatment of the unconscious and social aspect of it. You seem to have a more material and structural worldview. My understanding is that the State is a tool used by Capital, entirely at the command of Capital, and powerless against it. Theoretically, the State, being the largest capitalistic organ, could potentially effect an expedience to overpower it and restructure human society; however, being a contingent structure, it isn't (in its predominant representative-democratic form) capable of lifting itself up out of the mire of capitalistic influences and reclaiming an absolute regime over its own unconscious abstract machines.

Ok I wasn't sure if you had intentionally repeated Jehu's point about labor theory or if it was just a coincidence. It seems your idea of transition into communism is a very structured, top down approach that involves rigorous "education" of the workers (realistically, the youngest, pre-Oedipal generations) and the crystallization of a state with an impenetrable security system against capitalistic transformations. This security system is upheld by ongoing education, and the result is a hyper-Oedipal, repressive power structure that will ultimately become infested with diagrammatic intensities that obsolesce the signifying system of the communist dogma. Is that correct? The word "molecular" isn't used as a reference to chemistry, it's a term of convenience used to describe an assemblage acting as a singular unified entity as opposed to a loosely connected rhizome, for which the word "molar" is used. Why do you disagree with the notion of oedipal semiologies? Do you not believe that repressive systems can become embedded into the language and cultural expression of a society?

Ok but what about the article? I understand that you envision some transition into a dictatorial communist ecosystem, but where would it come from? What kinds of intensities are extant that would allow for this? Capital is more pervasive now than at any point ever before and it hasn't indicated that it's capable of introducing any kind of negative feedback into its process. I'm not concerned here with what should happen, but with what will happen. By semiological assemblages I mean the crystallized forms through which expression and communication happens through signifiers. For example, currency as a signifier of Capital and buying power. As a material alone, currency is almost entirely useless, but as a signifier it equates to power. This isn't imaginary, it's a real semiological relationship that affects the world just as concretely as gravity. These structures are upheld by the unconscious processes of their respective social ecosystems. They constantly change in a machine-like way over time, through intensive forces that displace (or deterritorialize) signifiers and attach them to different signified/referent couplings. Among the different modes of transformation are molecular revolutions, or internal shifts away from a certain semiological foundation to a new central structure entirely. A good and well known example might be the Protestant Reformation. Since there are still capitalistic semiological assemblages in place that are enforced through things like repressive schooling and currency, a molecular revolution would be a necessary requirement of a political structure that seeks to quash capitalistic movement. The even bigger problem is that capitalism isn't dependent on a specific semiology, but is itself a force of transformation within assemblages. A repressive structure that hopes to throttle Capital would somehow need to prevent a capitalistic cybernetics from infiltrating. I don't have any vision of what this would look like. If you didn't want to participate in the discussion, then why bother posting?

I'd be interested in reading your response to this old article by Jehu. Personally, I'm unconvinced of the viability of an anarcho-communist future in our current stage. At best, it would necessitate a gradual reappropriation of capitalistic use-values and division of labor but also a massive (no, even more massive) molecular revolution of semiological assemblages. This would be the K-punk modality of communism as I understand it (also certainly the Deleuzo-Guattarian). Without these, I see no hope for a successful eternal return of a communist event. Oedipal semiological structures would resurrect capitalistic intensities and infect the commune, and the old enemy would reappear.

Don't you see that Twitter threads are capitalism? Twitter is a proprietary platform that exists as a machine with which Capital can contain a hyperintensive cybernetic overcoding of semiology, advancing its own reterritorialization of language at a pace far beyond what anyone can critique. Speaking on a proprietary platform is not the same as speaking openly in the physical air. Once you have adopted the expressive worldspace of capitalistic cybernetics you have adopted the faciality of a deterritorialized schizo-voice.

Capitalism is only "evil" in the sense that it's the enemy of humanity. But that alone doesn't make it evil. The reason why is because Capital is so powerful that it has risen above morality and even found a way to disguise its devastation to the worker-consumer (desiring-machine). Morality today is one of the most deterritorialized, flexible tools that Capital uses in order to build itself from our elapsed labor-value, and eventually even this purpose will deteriorate (once capitalism qua capitalism — Capital in its purest, asignifying manifestation — has actualized itself).

What kind of people are you socializing with? Friends aren't supposed to pressure each other into making personal life choices they aren't comfortable with. This sounds like a negative social environment.

I'm moving into a much better and much cheaper place in a more convenient part of town in less than two weeks. I met my roommate today and he gave me one of the t-shirts that he screen prints himself. Today rocks, even in spite of the labor day hangover.

I love it. It's a big middle finger to anyone who has a taste in music (good or bad).

Garden of Delete