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Plum

Knob Twiddlers
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About Plum

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  • Birthday 10/13/2004

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    United Kingdom

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  1. Circa 2005-2007 I used to care for tidbit. I would take him to local carboot sales and charity shops, specifically looking for nerf guns (painting them was one of the only ways to keep him pacified). Eventually tho his behaviour became too unpredictable, and onetime, mid-tantrum sadly he took his frustration out on my poor cat Bo and bit him, so I was forced to stop... To this day, whenever I see a modded nerf gun or a one eared cat, I hear tidbit’s sweet retarded screams.
  2. I dated Kakapo. He’ll deny it tho.
  3. While we’re on the subject of saveloys, I always get the urge to try and swallow one whole. I think I definitely could.
  4. Saveloys are the key here, being both slick & smooth. Next time I’m about to nosh one down, I’ll think of you and say “smoother than a pornstar’s dick”. That’s a Plum promise.
  5. ... hmmm, now that I think about it I didn’t say “slicker than dolphin dick”, what I actually said was “slicker than seal dick”
  6. I was manhandling a slippery saveloy at the time.
  7. If Chrissie Hynde opened a Chinese restaurant, she could call it Don’t Get Me Wong.
  8. I’ve since used “slicker than dolphin dick” irl.
  9. Jeff Goldblum’s constant chin/mouth/forehead touching irks me hard. Real hard.
  10. 2000 was nearly 20 years ago. Soon it’ll be 2030. I’ll probably be dead circa 2060.
  11. Smoother than your mum’s dildo
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