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ducks


Fred McGriff

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god dammit do i love ducks right now. as many of you may have guessed over the years, i tend to obsess over things and ducks right now are what i'm obsessing over. i went and found a pond yesterday and fed some. JESUS. there is nothing better on this earth than feeding some ducks. they eat that bread right up. they love it. and they have the absolute coolest noises out of any animal ever. just sitting there with there weird little quacking. god how cool are ducks?? they just sit there and float. they are so fucking awesome. how do they love bread so much? it's not like it's a naturally occurring food for them. when they taste bread they must be like, WTF IS THIS? IT's AWESOME. my favorite ducks are mallard ducks, those are some cool ducks. i like your standard all white ducks too. i feed mallards wheat bread and i feed white ducks white bread. tomorrow i'm gonna go find a pond with more ducks and i'm gonna feed those ducks too. it's so relaxing to feed ducks.

 

ducks.

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oh shit, yeah that's the thing i'm struggling with now, is that i love ducks so much now that i feel guilty i have two huge jars of duck fat in my fridge and that i love eating their little leggies. also my little duckling sammy... if he knew that i had a fridge full of duck fat he would quack at me for 5 or 6 hours straight. i genuinely feel like a bad person around these ducks. i might stop eating ducks for a while until i ride this obsession out.

 

Fred.

 

One of these landed in my garden the other day.

 

Mandarin_Duck_22.jpg

 

holy shit i would fall over dead. that is a crazy awesome duck. probably only eats artisan bread though.

 

i'm going to go do this on thrusday

 

pics plz

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Its a Mandarin Duck.

A classy duck indeed. It loved my Wonderloaf so its not that hard to please. Really friendly too.

And yeah, whats better than ducks?

Serious question.

 

Edit - Fred....that avatars going to need a ducks bill stat.

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Guest my usernames always really suck

ducks yes

 

but to hell with geese. biggest ingrates in the bird world

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ducks yes

 

but to hell with geese. biggest ingrates in the bird world

 

Poo and noise. That is all a Goose does.

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i love so much that they love bread.

 

one fun thing to do is to try to bank the bread off the side of the duck. like a little love tap. it sounds mean spirited at first but it's great because they just eat the bread right up as if to say "hey man no worries, you can hit me in the side with bread and i'll just eat it up and give you lots of polite quacks too"

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geese shit everywhere and honk and swans are total bitches.

 

ducks are like little ralphs and sammies that are totally down to earth and up for pretty much anything that involves them getting fed some bread

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i love so much that they love bread.

 

one fun thing to do is to try to bank the bread off the side of the duck. like a little love tap. it sounds mean spirited at first but it's great because they just eat the bread right up as if to say "hey man no worries, you can hit me in the side with bread and i'll just eat it up and give you lots of polite quacks too"

 

this post is too cute. i'm fucking dying here. i now realise what i need to do with my old bread.

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Guest nene multiple assgasms

I'm gonna load up a school bus with ducks and take them on a field trip to the bread factory.

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I like how when they come into land on water they make that awesome boatplane landing cruising on their feet thing where they create:

 

A) A truly unique sound.

B) A satisfying wave pattern.

C) (Weather and angle of light depending) Fucking Rainbow Effects.

 

Then carry on as if its no thing.

 

 

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i had a particular fun night once when i was walking around with my friend high and there was a duck that was totally out of control, loud, busting through drywall, anyway. we were laughing hysterically at this duck, and yeah, good times

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Guest viscosity

There is a string of ponds right outside my dorm at New Paltz. its mating season; looks like duck rape though.

 

 

 

thats what I've been seeing the past few nights during cig breaks.., groups of males just following and fighting over one female and occasionally humping it to the ground. funny thing is, the female will run to the side while the males fight, but will still follow their group if they decide to walk.. dumb slag

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i like eating ducks and feeding ducks

 

i love so much that they love bread.

 

one fun thing to do is to try to bank the bread off the side of the duck. like a little love tap. it sounds mean spirited at first but it's great because they just eat the bread right up as if to say "hey man no worries, you can hit me in the side with bread and i'll just eat it up and give you lots of polite quacks too"

glad i won't be the first to bring up hitting ducks with bread.

 

when i feed ducks i tend to panick and end lobbing bread at the faces of ducks that aren't being quick enough and keep not getting any. natural selection upsets me so i try to make sure it doesn't happen.

 

when i feed ducks there's always a lot of gulls being twats, pigeons around my feet, and those little black ones that go 'peep' and dive for a long time and pop up far away. swans and geese also eat the bread. herrons only want fish and parrots stay in the trees. ravens come along later and have what the pigeons didn't see.

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sounds frightening sneaksta...

 

 

you know I love the Rabbits Fred...

 

will always be obsessed with them...

 

Ducks are rad as well, beautiful peaceful creatures, bring the same sense of calm that rabbits do for me, when watching them swim, walk, lead their babies in straight lines, dip their heads under the water whilst swimming, they are indeed magic!

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my mother was attacked by a white goose whilst pregnant with moi.

yea they're like dogs

DSCN0908s.jpg

that one was about to run about me so i walked in another direction a bit and it didn't

 

um, i think that's a type of goose

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