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Epic Orgasm Thread (NSFW, probably)


OneToThirtySix

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Shit, guys, I've been fapping for hours and I'm just about done! Goddam, I'm so close, but I need to put it somewhere inconspicuous (and typing this with one sore hand isn't easy). I can't put it in a sock or towel, my wife will find it in the laundry . . . dammit, I can't hold out much longer!

 

How about the cat litter box?

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i must be a little confused... you need to put your semen somewhere inconspicuous?

No, my collection of carefully hidden archives of internet porn.

 

YES, MY SEMEN. And hurry with the suggestions, running low on time here.

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Guest Super lurker ultra V12

You mean her butt? She won't go for that, but I'll give you credit for an answer she won't see coming! (ha-ha)

what about a stranger's butt?

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hunch over and spunk into your own mouth.

 

 

She'll smell it on my breath, that and aiming isn't precisely a science when it comes (ha-ha) to things like this, and I don't want to make a mess.

 

 

c'mon dum dum it's obvious! you simply smear faeces onto your face. your wife won't smell shit (apart from the shit of course)

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Guest ezkerraldean

jizz into a saucepan, then put it on a hob and boil all the jizz away

What's a hob?

the hot round thing on an oven you put saucepans on

 

(is it a britishism then?)

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c'mon dum dum it's obvious! you simply smear faeces onto your face. your wife won't smell shit (apart from the shit of course)

But then she won't recognize me. She'll think I'm just some crazy, dirty hobo with priapism.

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Guest Super lurker ultra V12

just go outside and look for one

I can't! What if a stranger sees me?! I might get kidnapped and never get the answer I came here for!

hmm,, just open a window and dump the load outside then

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hmm,, just open a window and dump the load outside then

You're suggesting I abandon the offspring of my narcissism outside the window like some teenage tramp prom queen's former fetus? My sperm deserves better than that!

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Don't you have a pet or something that would work as a receiver?

It's a beagle, thank you very much; they're completely different.

 

a golden receiver

I'd have to go find one, and walking isn't exactly going to be an option.

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just no helping some people.

I'm grateful for the ideas, I just need to find the perfect one . . . actually, the cat litter box is looking better and better.

 

The thought of cumming on a bald eagle made me laugh.

Me too, you bastard! I almost lost the payload right then!

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Guest Super lurker ultra V12

You're suggesting I abandon the offspring of my narcissism outside the window like some teenage tramp prom queen's former fetus? My sperm deserves better than that!

coffeecup01.jpg

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