spratters Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 RECREATIONAL mule tranquiliser ketamine affects the mind in a similar way to programmes about Peter Andre, experts have claimed. Research into the effects of the drug on the human mind has revealed direct parallels with ITV2's sub-lowest-common-denominator series about abs, sunshine and vaginas. Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Ketamine produces a sense of disengagement from reality, a literal mind-numbing which can be pleasurable in small doses but if taken to excess will make you shit your brain out. "Now remove the word 'ketamine' from that last sentence and replace it with Kerry Katona: The Next Chapter or The Vampire Diaries." He added: "Hopefully this discovery will allow us to help ITV2 users by weaning them off Gossip Girl and onto increasingly large doses of ketamine. Mental health-wise there are no substantial benefits but at least they'll make less noise." Veterinary anaesthetic ketamine was introduced into the club scene in 2001 after it was discovered that unconscious horses were actually having a wicked time. Ketamine fan Stephen Malley, from Swindon, said: "As befits someone who snorts evil-smelling crystals off of speakers at illegal techno parties, I'm not concerned about K's 'long-term health effects'. To me 'long term' means 'tomorrow'. “However I am alarmed that it might be a gateway drug for aspirational television. "And come to think of it, I did recently find myself, for no apparent reason, wondering what Peter Andre has for his tea." Often used to make horses faint Original! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soloman Tump Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 I love the dailymash, its the best "newspaper" there is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Thanks for introducing me to this site, holy fucking lol. It's like a modern The Day Today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fiznuthian Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 lol ketamine is weird. i read somewhere one time, an article by a professor, that ketamine produces experiences at high doses almost exactly the same as near death experience. dunno if it's true, but after snorting a little and wondering wtf just happened to my brain 30 minutes later, I don't doubt it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest underscore Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 dunno if it's true, but after snorting a little and wondering wtf just happened to my brain 30 minutes later, I don't doubt it. that sounds just like salvia or too many tabs of acid (well, not 30 minutes later) for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hahathhat Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 i would like to try ketamine but i have ~specific requirements~ like IM injection of non-street, vet-grade etc. so it's probably never gonna happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fiznuthian Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 dunno if it's true, but after snorting a little and wondering wtf just happened to my brain 30 minutes later, I don't doubt it. that sounds just like salvia or too many tabs of acid (well, not 30 minutes later) for me http://www.mindspring.com/~scottr/nde/jansen1.html here's the article, there's more too.. written by Dr. Karl Jansen Yeah i'm sure salvia can definitely produce deathly visions, acid too in high doses. But something about ketamine mimics NDEs, i'd need to read it again i would like to try ketamine but i have ~specific requirements~ like IM injection of non-street, vet-grade etc. so it's probably never gonna happen. yeah how do people get K so easily if its veterinary medicine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hahathhat Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 they have obviously befriended vets, and not the ones from vietnam (that's when they last gave ketamine to humans, yes?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Can we stop discussing drug use and get back to the topic of The Daily Mash? This thread's gonna get locked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hahathhat Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Can we stop discussing drug use and get back to the topic of The Daily Mash? This thread's gonna get locked. well EXCUSE ME SIR, the thread title is "Ketamine works like ITV2" and not "The Daily Mash." myself, i saw the topic and thought, "Is ITV2 one of those neurothingies like 5HT? Or is this some new lab chemical??" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fiznuthian Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 same here. fine. is the daily mash an english version of the onion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hahathhat Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 is cornwall an english vermont? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chenGOD Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 yeah how do people get K so easily if its veterinary medicine? vet students gots to pay for school somehow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soloman Tump Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 my girlfriend is a vet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 my girlfriend loves ket Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertsk8er419 Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 on weed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soloman Tump Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 my girlfriend sells ket Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theSun Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 just popping in to say who is that chick and why is she relevant to the article? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the anonymous forumite Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 you are missing the point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spratters Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 just popping in to say who is that chick and why is she relevant to the article? Kerry Katona: The Next Chapter or The Vampire Diaries produces a sense of disengagement from reality, a literal mind-numbing which can be pleasurable in small doses but if taken to excess will make you shit your brain out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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