Alzado Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I intend for this thread to serve as a central location for all discussion and debate pertaining to Keltoi. Think of it as a messageboard within a messageboard. There's so much varying information, rumors and innuendo circulating about, it's time we confine the discussion to one place so that we can separate fact from fiction. I'll take the lead, but I would appreciate all the help you guys can give. The more we participate as a community, the richer this resource will be. Without further ado: The Keltoi Thread ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keltoi Facts Keltoi is composed of between between 55% and 78% water, depending on the number of babies he's kissed in the prior 48 hours. Keltoi is right handed, but uses his left to perform most bathroom tasks. 'Keltoi' is correctly pronounced \ˈdüsh\ Keltoi Image Archive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rambo Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Keltoi's hands Keltoi has immaculate fingernails During Keltoi's early teens he suffered from severe indigestion and was noted for his boney hands For those who believe in palm reading: Keltoi has an exceptionally strong life line and a curiously misshapen destiny line During his lifetime, Keltoi has punched 2 women and 1 child (accidental) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Keltois feet It is rumoured that keltoi has only 3 feet. They are webbed and he has been sited gliding from cliftops towards the open ocean using them as guides. His webbed feet allow him to walk accross water but only if it contains fish. He has 6 toes on his right foot and 7 on his left, this is to maintain balance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 keltoi sounds like a bit of an inbred Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alzado Posted June 5, 2009 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 Keltoi masturbates in bread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 a little known fact is that keltoi's ankles are made of moss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rambo Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Keltoi: separating fact from myth Here i unravel popular myths about Keltoi. Keltoi was never in Cuba, at any point during his formative years, contrary to the Smith-Jacobs report Keltoi owns 1 harp, 3 guitars and an extensive selection of Druid-inspired percussive instruments. He has no woodwind instruments, nor has he ever claimed to play this category of musical instrument Keltoi did not lose consciousness during the 'Black Swan fire' and was not saved by school children. He made his own way out before the building was properly alight. Contrary to urban legend, Keltoi was described as 'an exceptional, introverted, handsome student' by his high school Head teacher Miss Gweckenstoff. Keltoi can discern shapes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 i've been to cuba. apart from that you're all right. i don't know what to say. let's meet and fuck and touch balls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Benedict Cumberbatch Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 keltoi's ball facts keltoi's 3 balls are all left testicles 2 of keltoi's balls are completely hairless the other has the hair coverage of 3 normal balls keltoi's balls produce on average 1ml of semen per month 1ml of keltoi's ball's semen contains on average 1 healthy sperm keltoi's ball's semen's healthy sperm swim clockwise keltoi's balls hang (from left to right respectively) 3 inches, 2 inches and 12 inches Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muflontillah Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boo Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 his father is as stubborn as he is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 keltoi's ball facts keltoi's 3 balls are all left testicles 2 of keltoi's balls are completely hairless the other has the hair coverage of 3 normal balls keltoi's balls produce on average 1ml of semen per month 1ml of keltoi's ball's semen contains on average 1 healthy sperm keltoi's ball's semen's healthy sperm swim clockwise keltoi's balls hang (from left to right respectively) 3 inches, 2 inches and 12 inches you know it bitch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Benedict Cumberbatch Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 his party trick is using his balls as anal beads on himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 bitch knows it ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rambo Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 etymology Keltoi is derived from the latin world Kwelthip, meaning fiery lord of unquantifiable rage. "Toi" is Druidspeak for marmalade hammock which is in turn derived from the ancient Druid ritual of the hammock sandwich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 am i being raped watmm style? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Benedict Cumberbatch Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 keltoi is infact keith urban Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneToThirtySix Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 keltoi is infact keith urban Who is, in reality, just Garth Brooks in a wig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 i like you benedict cumberbatch. there i said it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idrn Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 contrary to rumour of a laser nubbin, keltoi actually has a fourth nubbin, or quartubbin, which is actually capable of secreting a highly concentrated laguerre-guassian zettawatt ray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 i'm enjoying being raped btw. please continue. » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « NO! NO! please stop! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boo Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 but yea he's stubborn like his father i won't say what he learnt from his mother :angry: :embrassed: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idrn Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 i'm enjoying being raped btw. please continue. » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « NO! NO! please stop! this is the highest accolade of affection Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 am i being raped watmm style? No no no, that would be like getting raped by IRARI/beneboi/weed. This is getting raped Rambo style, this sort of rape goes down anywhere, even with the cops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boo Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 ok maybe i'll say what he learnt from his mother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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