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adventures in rapping: special "don't fuck with sini" edition

sinicalypse

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sinicalypse Proficient

sinicalypse

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Posted

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER UP THE ASS

 

foreal, y'all about to find out how apropos that quote is.

 

anyways holla whattem it's ya bw0y past present and forever sinicalypse, giving you the latest updates on his crazy ass life like "if i tell you all the stories as they happen, what's going to be left for the book?!@" well i dont require your money as of right now so i'm paying it forward to the world like thats just what i gotta do to not justr be real, moreover the realest. example: as i type this im at stellas on western ave in chicago sippin a PBR with a shot of jager to my right and $100 of acid/tech/house records to my left (dj tim osman is picking up steam like a pissed off locomotive) and like, i have to tell you this awesome story from last night.

 

my friend brian, aka robust had a show last night next to handlebar on north ave in the city. he was the 3rd from the headliner... i came in, i repped hard, i free'd with the illest rappers there (namely brian and those heads at a show who stay in the back and do their own thing... i know how to spot out the ill rappers, they're dressed the best and they carry themselves like they're the shit cuz, guess what, they're the shit. and i do my thing rah rah rah so on and so forth.

 

so this dude kid static, aka sharkula, is performing. it looks pretty gay as he raps, i dont care what hes saying tbh i bet it's good i mean http://www.myspace.com/kidstatic and he has a song where he put at least 5 bars into a megaman thing, i dunno if it was a megaman song, but as this was jam one's birthday party he and his boys from san diego got up on some beatboxing. i approached this kid static dude (when i first met him, as he walked in, he had his face painted up with silver paint like some high-class artsy fashion model, or like the weird gay dude from america's next top model, he's decked out in a skintight black shirt with the top 3 buttons undone, nuthugger black jeans, and like, he groped himself whilst doing a seductive dance on stage. call me a simpleton visceral caveman, but like, i like redman. i say "FUCK THAT" real me: "sorry i didnt say, my name is james and i'm the sin of the cynical apocalypse, but you can call me sinicalypse. i've been around the game for 12 years in the background building up my skills and now i'm finally dope and it's time to let the world know" him: "well i've never heard of you" me: "exactly. i didnt want to be heard of, i intend to be the best. and i'm well on the path" him: "i've never heard of you" i start trying to talk to him and he keeps busting me off like WHO ARE YOU i mention aceyalone he says a book of human language (incidentally, greatest rap LP ever) was his shit it influenced his life and shaped him as an artist, but HE AINT LISTEN TO ACEYALONE SICNE THEN. fucking hater. so anyways he keeps bigtiming me so eventually cuz he wanted me to go away and i wasnt going anywhere. this was too much fun. eventually i get another WHO ARE YOU and i hit him with some real:

 

"the truth is i'm just a white kid with the most incredible amount of skill you'll ever behold. i can kick your ass at rapping anywhere anytime anyplace, juice, like i aint know how chicago rolls. and now that you're being such a dick to me, like, i didnt know who you are b4 tonight but i promise you this, im going to find out everything about you and destroy you just cuz you're disrespecting me like you're something special and i'm a wannabe bitch. you're the bitch, you're just about to find out, which amuses me greatly cuz you think you're the shit... well you're about to lose your "the", mister the shit, and i will expose you as the piece of shit that you truly are"

 

he pulls a bitch move (seriously, if this guy isnt gay he's fighting off dreams about flagpole) and like points to the left and says "you're a thug ass wannabe wigger who is coming up to me oin some fuck you shit talking like you're the shit when you're NOBODY and blah blah blah you get it, i'm nobody, i'm a fake thug wigger like actually i did just buy tupac's i get around 12" yesterday. thug ass wiggers: represent.

 

anyways, he points to the left and shouts "GET THIS WACK MOTHERFUCKER OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I HAVE TO SON HIM ON THE MIC" and im like pfft but i leave, the scene was made by the captain of the expanding rectum brethern (timelord: i knwo the future cuz it's my past, don't forget) and i walk outside and hang out with my new friends, the people calling up today like "in two weeks imma be ready to jam on tracks with you" to which i reply "see this phone number, it's the request line... hit it up whenever you want a song"

 

bam. so after 30 mins i get told HEY THEY'RE LETTING US CIPHER ONSTAGE so i walk up and the dude beatboxing on stage is like ohhh shit he realized i was one of the illest cats there in fact im hoping to link up with him later and do a cut where i rap on top of his live beatboxing b4 he goes back 2 sandiego tomorrow morning. im waiting on him. anyways, i gbet up there and start freeing, moving the crowd all rakim massive style, and then i see kid static coming through the crowd like a bullet train, gets onstage and grabs a mic and is like, over my rapping "i'mma son this motherfucker on the microphone, i'mma son this motherfucker everyone"

 

keep in mind, he wants to make me "a son like elroy" like i aint copped gang starr's mass appeal 12" on vinyl 2 days ago. i have good days.

 

so guys, you know me. weird? oh yeah. excessive?!@ tl;dr. annoying?!@ sure. but say whatever you want about me and odds are you're right: i'm fucking brilliant, especially when i stop trying and get into straightup vessel of god mode like i dont know where the words are coming from i dont make them i'm just a conduit to make them exist on this plane of existence from origins unknown. and like, the guy stepped.

 

so his first battle diss verse was like, basically, i'm white i'm fat and i'm wearing an expos jersey ("congratulations, you have eyes") and like, so i get the mic, and welp, i let it rip. guys i was so in the zone i remember 2 things: one: "you wanna call me fat?! you're damn right, cuz i'm a freestyle heavyweight on the mic, and i levitate above the fray like fuck emo rock" bam. and like, during my now-legendary free verse at him, he's literally 2 feet from my face staring into my eyes blowing me kisses while rubbing his cock. no bs. now i understand he's trying to psych me out and get into my head, but like, if you do that shit to me, say what you're trying to do, i'mma tell you what you're doing: being creepy. be gay go pop in a parade i'll stop by and wave, but like, dont do weird ambiguous shit with me, thats why such a large segment of the black population doesnt play that gay shit: undeclared/not-yet-formally-knowing-they're-gay-cuz-they-think-the-dreams-about-cock-are-something-else motherfuckers are creepy nasty and deserving of a beatodwn. even if a fineass bitch is all on my shit i'm so true blue its like "whats wrong with this bitch?!@" like i met a fine redhead who said when i met her "you don't realize it yet, but i'm singing telepathically" --- i copped the digits. she's intelligent. thats what i need in a woman otherwise they won't get me like lebron's cock.

 

so at the end i did some 4 bar punchline where those 4 bars set up the last word, which was like, "come on the microphone and drop your tricks/trix, silly rabbit, battling you is easy cuz you're just a silly faggot" that wasnt it but i came up with that off the top of my head now and thats how i do on the mic. i got the PSDFGJADSJFASDJFLAJ OMFG OMFG OMFG FVRO THE CROWD i drop the mic literally from a foot off the ground (he had been tryin'ta snatch it out of my hands) and stand aside and fold my arms as i watch him try to respond aaaannnnddddddd

 

HE CHOKED LIKE THOSE DUDES EM SNAPPED ON AT THE END OF 8-MILE. HE TRIED SAYING EXPOS AGAIN TO WHICH I SHOUTED "YOU ALREADY DID THAT ASSHOLE TRY BEING ORIGINAL" and then i walk around the crowd whilst he's completely falling apart as a rapper/performer/cool person/respected member of the rap scene, or well, at least when sini is in the house, and like, ig et mad high fives and hugs from my rapping people and my motto was "he stepped: i stepped correct"3

 

spin move high fives were in effect. ya boy sinicalypse is finally realizing his true power, and short of some big L big smalls or big pun shit, nothing can stop me. well, except sex with shakira. if she asked me to give up rapping with the promise of hitting that every nihgt... you guys understand.

 

so basically, the people at the place come up to me and tell me that i have to leave, i'm like "can i ask why or do i just take this as a badge of honor?" t hey said something like "you're intimidating our performers... we dont need a fistfight tonight" and i walk out like victory lap, realize i forgot my 2pac record inside so i rush back in they try to stop me i say 2pac record they lemme get it, then i walk out go to greektown victory gyro and yeah.

 

go to kidstatic's twitter page @ http://www.twitter.com/kidstatic --- the "i wanted to hit that dude foreal" post is about me. and like, ig et it, he has to save face with his "fans" and be like y0 that guys wack what was that hes weird and intense and like, you know, not acknowledging me cuz "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!@" hes gonna brush it off like i just went and beat lebron on 1 on 1 and lebron's gonna be like "man i was half asleep my ankle heart and like.. .that wasnt in an NBA game, if it was in a real NBA game... hey are you in the NBA?!@"

 

i sent him a nice ass e-mail explaining my situation, why i came at him like i did, and apologizing to him for serving his ass so hard the first time i met him. no dickery. i'd drop it here but let's keep it personal mmmk? so like, i did have to let him know this: "you wanna beat me up on twitter, btw?!@ http://www.twitter.com/aphexedvexed --- see how a true artist uses twitter to be the coolest motherfucker ever"

 

i need someone to give me the nickname freezer, please, cuz like, i'm so cool jsut call me the freezer.

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dr lopez Grand Master

dr lopez

Posted
Posted

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER UP THE ASS

 

foreal, y'all about to find out how apropos that quote is.

 

anyways holla whattem it's ya bw0y past present and forever sinicalypse, giving you the latest updates on his crazy ass life like "if i tell you all the stories as they happen, what's going to be left for the book?!@" well i dont require your money as of right now so i'm paying it forward to the world like thats just what i gotta do to not justr be real, moreover the realest. example: as i type this im at stellas on western ave in chicago sippin a PBR with a shot of jager to my right and $100 of acid/tech/house records to my left (dj tim osman is picking up steam like a pissed off locomotive) and like, i have to tell you this awesome story from last night.

 

my friend brian, aka robust had a show last night next to handlebar on north ave in the city. he was the 3rd from the headliner... i came in, i repped hard, i free'd with the illest rappers there (namely brian and those heads at a show who stay in the back and do their own thing... i know how to spot out the ill rappers, they're dressed the best and they carry themselves like they're the shit cuz, guess what, they're the shit. and i do my thing rah rah rah so on and so forth.

 

so this dude kid static, aka sharkula, is performing. it looks pretty gay as he raps, i dont care what hes saying tbh i bet it's good i mean http://www.myspace.com/kidstatic and he has a song where he put at least 5 bars into a megaman thing, i dunno if it was a megaman song, but as this was jam one's birthday party he and his boys from san diego got up on some beatboxing. i approached this kid static dude (when i first met him, as he walked in, he had his face painted up with silver paint like some high-class artsy fashion model, or like the weird gay dude from america's next top model, he's decked out in a skintight black shirt with the top 3 buttons undone, nuthugger black jeans, and like, he groped himself whilst doing a seductive dance on stage. call me a simpleton visceral caveman, but like, i like redman. i say "FUCK THAT" real loud like i'm black and laugh as i sip my PBR and get passed another blunt (this was a real rap show. cigarettes and blunts = a go. that's love right there)

 

so i approach him like "yo, man, i heard that megaman shit... that's tight, hey wanna do a megaman song?!@ i'm oldschool megaman like megaman 2 call me flash man cuz i can stop time with my rhymes" and he's like, real loud in my face, "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!@" me: "sorry i didnt say, my name is james and i'm the sin of the cynical apocalypse, but you can call me sinicalypse. i've been around the game for 12 years in the background building up my skills and now i'm finally dope and it's time to let the world know" him: "well i've never heard of you" me: "exactly. i didnt want to be heard of, i intend to be the best. and i'm well on the path" him: "i've never heard of you" i start trying to talk to him and he keeps busting me off like WHO ARE YOU i mention aceyalone he says a book of human language (incidentally, greatest rap LP ever) was his shit it influenced his life and shaped him as an artist, but HE AINT LISTEN TO ACEYALONE SICNE THEN. fucking hater. so anyways he keeps bigtiming me so eventually cuz he wanted me to go away and i wasnt going anywhere. this was too much fun. eventually i get another WHO ARE YOU and i hit him with some real:

 

"the truth is i'm just a white kid with the most incredible amount of skill you'll ever behold. i can kick your ass at rapping anywhere anytime anyplace, juice, like i aint know how chicago rolls. and now that you're being such a dick to me, like, i didnt know who you are b4 tonight but i promise you this, im going to find out everything about you and destroy you just cuz you're disrespecting me like you're something special and i'm a wannabe bitch. you're the bitch, you're just about to find out, which amuses me greatly cuz you think you're the shit... well you're about to lose your "the", mister the shit, and i will expose you as the piece of shit that you truly are"

 

he pulls a bitch move (seriously, if this guy isnt gay he's fighting off dreams about flagpole) and like points to the left and says "you're a thug ass wannabe wigger who is coming up to me oin some fuck you shit talking like you're the shit when you're NOBODY and blah blah blah you get it, i'm nobody, i'm a fake thug wigger like actually i did just buy tupac's i get around 12" yesterday. thug ass wiggers: represent.

 

anyways, he points to the left and shouts "GET THIS WACK MOTHERFUCKER OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I HAVE TO SON HIM ON THE MIC" and im like pfft but i leave, the scene was made by the captain of the expanding rectum brethern (timelord: i knwo the future cuz it's my past, don't forget) and i walk outside and hang out with my new friends, the people calling up today like "in two weeks imma be ready to jam on tracks with you" to which i reply "see this phone number, it's the request line... hit it up whenever you want a song"

 

bam. so after 30 mins i get told HEY THEY'RE LETTING US CIPHER ONSTAGE so i walk up and the dude beatboxing on stage is like ohhh shit he realized i was one of the illest cats there in fact im hoping to link up with him later and do a cut where i rap on top of his live beatboxing b4 he goes back 2 sandiego tomorrow morning. im waiting on him. anyways, i gbet up there and start freeing, moving the crowd all rakim massive style, and then i see kid static coming through the crowd like a bullet train, gets onstage and grabs a mic and is like, over my rapping "i'mma son this motherfucker on the microphone, i'mma son this motherfucker everyone"

 

keep in mind, he wants to make me "a son like elroy" like i aint copped gang starr's mass appeal 12" on vinyl 2 days ago. i have good days.

 

so guys, you know me. weird? oh yeah. excessive?!@ tl;dr. annoying?!@ sure. but say whatever you want about me and odds are you're right: i'm fucking brilliant, especially when i stop trying and get into straightup vessel of god mode like i dont know where the words are coming from i dont make them i'm just a conduit to make them exist on this plane of existence from origins unknown. and like, the guy stepped.

 

so his first battle diss verse was like, basically, i'm white i'm fat and i'm wearing an expos jersey ("congratulations, you have eyes") and like, so i get the mic, and welp, i let it rip. guys i was so in the zone i remember 2 things: one: "you wanna call me fat?! you're damn right, cuz i'm a freestyle heavyweight on the mic, and i levitate above the fray like fuck emo rock" bam. and like, during my now-legendary free verse at him, he's literally 2 feet from my face staring into my eyes blowing me kisses while rubbing his cock. no bs. now i understand he's trying to psych me out and get into my head, but like, if you do that shit to me, say what you're trying to do, i'mma tell you what you're doing: being creepy. be gay go pop in a parade i'll stop by and wave, but like, dont do weird ambiguous shit with me, thats why such a large segment of the black population doesnt play that gay shit: undeclared/not-yet-formally-knowing-they're-gay-cuz-they-think-the-dreams-about-cock-are-something-else motherfuckers are creepy nasty and deserving of a beatodwn. even if a fineass bitch is all on my shit i'm so true blue its like "whats wrong with this bitch?!@" like i met a fine redhead who said when i met her "you don't realize it yet, but i'm singing telepathically" --- i copped the digits. she's intelligent. thats what i need in a woman otherwise they won't get me like lebron's cock.

 

so at the end i did some 4 bar punchline where those 4 bars set up the last word, which was like, "come on the microphone and drop your tricks/trix, silly rabbit, battling you is easy cuz you're just a silly faggot" that wasnt it but i came up with that off the top of my head now and thats how i do on the mic. i got the PSDFGJADSJFASDJFLAJ OMFG OMFG OMFG FVRO THE CROWD i drop the mic literally from a foot off the ground (he had been tryin'ta snatch it out of my hands) and stand aside and fold my arms as i watch him try to respond aaaannnnddddddd

 

HE CHOKED LIKE THOSE DUDES EM SNAPPED ON AT THE END OF 8-MILE. HE TRIED SAYING EXPOS AGAIN TO WHICH I SHOUTED "YOU ALREADY DID THAT ASSHOLE TRY BEING ORIGINAL" and then i walk around the crowd whilst he's completely falling apart as a rapper/performer/cool person/respected member of the rap scene, or well, at least when sini is in the house, and like, ig et mad high fives and hugs from my rapping people and my motto was "he stepped: i stepped correct"3

 

spin move high fives were in effect. ya boy sinicalypse is finally realizing his true power, and short of some big L big smalls or big pun shit, nothing can stop me. well, except sex with shakira. if she asked me to give up rapping with the promise of hitting that every nihgt... you guys understand.

 

so basically, the people at the place come up to me and tell me that i have to leave, i'm like "can i ask why or do i just take this as a badge of honor?" t hey said something like "you're intimidating our performers... we dont need a fistfight tonight" and i walk out like victory lap, realize i forgot my 2pac record inside so i rush back in they try to stop me i say 2pac record they lemme get it, then i walk out go to greektown victory gyro and yeah.

 

go to kidstatic's twitter page @ http://www.twitter.com/kidstatic --- the "i wanted to hit that dude foreal" post is about me. and like, ig et it, he has to save face with his "fans" and be like y0 that guys wack what was that hes weird and intense and like, you know, not acknowledging me cuz "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!@" hes gonna brush it off like i just went and beat lebron on 1 on 1 and lebron's gonna be like "man i was half asleep my ankle heart and like.. .that wasnt in an NBA game, if it was in a real NBA game... hey are you in the NBA?!@"

 

i sent him a nice ass e-mail explaining my situation, why i came at him like i did, and apologizing to him for serving his ass so hard the first time i met him. no dickery. i'd drop it here but let's keep it personal mmmk? so like, i did have to let him know this: "you wanna beat me up on twitter, btw?!@ http://www.twitter.com/aphexedvexed --- see how a true artist uses twitter to be the coolest motherfucker ever"

 

i need someone to give me the nickname freezer, please, cuz like, i'm so cool jsut call me the freezer.

No.

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sinicalypse Proficient

sinicalypse

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dude somewhere my browser must've tried to post it whilst i was typing it... fucking windows hotkeys. whatever the case, its there for you now.

 

* waits for everyone to go all antithesis and try to hate on me =P =P =P *

 

or better yet, believe what kid static is gonna spit. he's gonna be like "this kid was crazy he just shouted hate in the microphone he has no skills"

 

yep, i have no skills. i can't freestyle, and even when i try to, i have no drive topic or even good beats or ideas for cool samples. i really suck, guys, WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO A GUY RAP ABOUT METAPHORS FOR OUR EVIL CORPORATE MASTERS?!@ WE WANNA HEAR I'M IN MIAMI BITCH

 

oh wait, i got those homos too

 

right now like, i gotta be real, i am not yet a rapper a MC or an entertainer. i'm just a kid who can rap his nuts off like "how the fuck am i having sex?!@" and like, as i'm telling everyone. six months to a year. then sinicalypse will be a brand and have the audacity to ask you for money... i aint gonna come out open the tenchcoat and be like "peep the mighty majestic rappin phallus" until i know that every bitch in the place gonna be sweatin my junk like "if that's his junk, what's his treasure?!@"

 

find out, bitch, i dare you.

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Guest theSun

Guest theSun

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Posted

man i just lost 2 posts where i said i think sini posts are quite entertaining. i couldn't imagine my frustration if i lost a sini-length post. i might hang myself.

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Guest Rabid

Guest Rabid

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it's

Monty Pythons Flying Circus

 

<snip>

*stock footage of women applauding*

 

sini would be a half decent rapper if he had some sense of rhythm or syncopation

Agreed, sini you should take lessons from the greats, I hear joaquin phoenix is really good

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Guest theSun

Guest theSun

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sini would be a half decent rapper if he had some sense of rhythm or syncopation

 

 

this is why he needs to listen to confield and untilted

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Guest Super lurker ultra V12

Guest Super lurker ultra V12

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Posted

sini would be a half decent rapper if he had some sense of rhythm or syncopation

 

 

this is why he needs to listen to confield and untilted

that isn't even music

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sinicalypse Proficient

sinicalypse

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sini would be a half decent rapper if he had some sense of rhythm or syncopation

 

you'd be snappin on beats as ill as squarepusher if you were....... squarepusher. or the flashbulb. he's like america actually had a genetic experiment gone wrong to recreate the greatest british musicians known to man in order to subvert their dominance in the field of electronic music, and the result of this failed "playing god" experiment is benn jordan, a self-professed self-made-millionaire who reminded me that "[my] hero and king" aphex twin can't afford to live in london so thats why he's raising his kids in rural scotland right now.

 

HEY BENN, HARKY, WHATEVER YOUR PROXY FRONT IS. YOU HEAR ME, ASSWIPE?!@ YOU'RE IN MY SIGHTS AND SOON, OH SO VERY SOON, YOU'RE GOING DOWN LIKE EVERYONE IN THE LINE OF PEOPLE THAT GOES ON FOR 6 BLOCKS CUZ IT'S THE LINE TO BLOW ME AND LIKE, GET IN LINE NOW CUZ IT'S GONNA BE 10 TIMES LONGER WITHIN MERE MONTHS.

 

i met 3 cats and was like "lets rhyme!?@" x-changed digits... i've done this like, no shit, ~200 times throughout the last 10 years, never ever got a call once.

 

all three repped today and i've got rapping sessions lined up over the next 2 weeks. i'mma be better than these kids, but part of my covenant with god is that i'm going to help everyone i can. in fact on the walk over here i saw a rough lookin lady asleep on the park bench and like, i looked in my wallet grabbed a $10 and woke her up, she was so afraid of me but i go to hand her $10 she tries to refuse and i say "promise me you're going to get a good meal" and shes like "i cant take that" i'm like "yes you can. you need this more than me, and just because i have it doesnt mean that it's meant for me. here" * she takes it * me: "i'm the doctor, i'm here to help" and i walked away like the real motherfucker i am.

 

thats just how i'm rollin, job 1.25s on the scene =D

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sinicalypse Proficient

sinicalypse

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* scotch face and fire-breath rephlex ensues *

 

has any other rapper in the history of earth shouted rephlex records on a song?!@ not even cylob's rapping computer did, now, did it?!@

 

btw i want wisp or od++ or saskrotch to do a proper superjungle beat for me to rap about how much i fucking hate rewinds and jungle mcs like, dude, those fucking hacks call for rewinds so they can show off their lame 2 minutes of written fluff... you know that marshmellow shit that comes in peanut butter jars. and like, i hate it hate it hate it hate it. if i'm seeing andy c or adam f or grooverider or ed rush and optical or someone ILL, like, i want that mix to keep on moving like the train through hell that it sounds like... once that killer cut hits the first drop and it kicks your ass, dragging it back with a minute 30 of buildup and shit rap which also buys the dj time to pre-match his next record?!@ lame. fucking lame.

 

only ill shit is like, when the lady roller sings on top of shit... e-z rollers live in vienna, the calyx (back when it was the two dudes) remix of their song weekend world, when she sings... omfg best moment in a jungle mix i've ever heard

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sinicalypse Proficient

sinicalypse

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ok and like, question, am i weird for like being so fucking offended when someone disses afx like that like it's up to me and me alone to defend the virtue of the man whose record analogue bubblebath IV changed my life so much like, it gave me the number 37 which is my bad wolf, doctor who fans, and has helped lead me to where i am: becoming omnipotent.

 

and like, it all started with ab4. if you diss aphex twin, you're essentially dissing me, cuz think of all the cool things that make aphex twin aphex twin (jacking the KLF's style but being actually way better at music than them, the whole "fuck off, fuck you" mentality, or how about when he posted hardcore dork shit about algorithms on xlt:?!@) its like, i'm your personal aphex twin right here right now and i technically am not on that level yet formally, but like, i'm opening up the trenchcoat and giving you unprecedented inside access to a fucking phenomenon who is going to blow up super big within a year.

 

keep in mind i dont wanna be fiddy cent, underground legend for ~75-125 a year touring the world like it's what i do, thats what i am for. imma be dat, redman, just watch me. in fact i need that instrumental imma slsk it now cuz like, i need to do my own homage to that song and update it for the 2009

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