modey Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 http://www.landoverbaptist.org/eastereggs.html "Pagan kids didn't have anything to do on Easter Sunday because their mommies and daddies were stuck in a false temple all day, naked and writhing around with their neighbors in Satanic orgies of the flesh. You see, parents had to come up with a way to occupy their children while they were away from home, praying and fornicating under the altar of Satan. And since they didn't have babysitters back then, they gave their kids eggs to play with and sometimes paint," he says. "But the reason they chose eggs had nothing to do with any sort of fertility or fertilizers (as some misguided Christian historians would have you believe). Nope, it was because of Lucifer's testicles! Glory to God! And I won't say a word more about it! I don't want to ruin the book for you!" edit: lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
essines Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 that's gotta be a parody site or some shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 lol http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ great website even the forums are fun to read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lumpenprol Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 lol, all the links go to landover baptist church, sounds like a fun place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Space Coyote Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 The Eggs/Balls of Satan Half a cup of powdered sugar One quarter teaspoo salt One knifetip Turkish hash Half a pound butter One teaspoon vanilla-sugar Half a pound flour 150 g ground nuts A little extra powdered sugar ... and no eggs Place in a bowl Add butter Add the ground nuts and Knead the dough Form eyeball-size pieces from the dough Roll in the powdered sugar and say the Magic Words: "Sim sala bim bamba sala do saladim" Place on a greased baking pan and Bake at 200 degrees for 15 minutes ...AND NO EGGS Bake at 200 degrees for 15 minutes ...and no eggs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 UND KEINE EIER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karmakramer Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 So is the yolk the actual balls? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted August 1, 2009 Author Share Posted August 1, 2009 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WhoNeedsElectricity Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 parents who by lack of faith can't afford to send their children to a decent Christian school. So you're poor because you don't pray enough? I thought religion was supposed to make people feel good about themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ezkerraldean Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 lol my god american christians are so shit though this could easily have been genuine easter itself is named after a pagan saxon god, for fuck's sake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tv_party Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 yeah landover baptist is from the whitehouse.org people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
essines Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 holy fuck that forum is rediculous like, this can't be true http://www.landoverbaptist.org/thestaff/ladies/daisymae.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr_Nova Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 THIS MUST BE SOME KIND OF SICK YOLK!! I AM TOTALLY EGG-AINST IT!! EAST'ER?? I BARELY KNEW'ER!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 LOLed massively at the topic title! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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