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Connecting with Nature


Guest happycase

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i am the at once the mouse and the corner it is backing up into. I am embracing my mousey friend. I am the wall. My mousey friend gnaws a small, happy hole in my chest. I grin with a paternal calmness. The mouse peers through his hole and sees something or other.

 

I like to do this with parts of my body. I understand now that my manhood is projected out of my penis into my right hand and my penis is a wounded woman I am forcing to bed with me. The woman becomes my hollow penis, which I then try to nurture back to health. I never realized this until my right hand spoke words of aggression to my penis two days ago, while my penis begged for mercy. my thirsty tongue scolds my legs for not mobilizing. my dry and empty voice says it's protecting me by being empty. my heart insists that it be let out.

 

ok, you have to be an ingenious dupe...

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i sit in my bed see all these people saying stuff around here. i think it's really funny and it makes me grin inside. everything about it is pathetic. happycase is funny and nice, and i think genuine. happycase is wrong about so much but the right/wrong power hierarchy shouldn't matter right because who's living in the most real reality?

 

deep down i know in reality that the hierarchy of power doesn't matter but i see it modifying everyone else and myself and happycase's choice of words and it causes me to pause and farquad my way out of this one.

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so i tried to be a friend and do the right thing. i tried to say all the good stuff. but everyone hates me and doesn't accept me for who i am. i'm like an independent black woman trying to make it through life OK. i've been raped, i've been hit, but i keep going on. except everyone roots for the large black woman. i'm just a gribble on the fucking ground. you can shit on me, you can stomp on me, but i keep going because i know someday i'll find love. love for a woman. someone else is out there for me that can make me remember what's good in the world. but right now i'm just empty and i haven't got much to add except jokes and trolling. and maybe some people should respect that. i follow the tao zen and the nihilism and people really don't have any idea how much effort it takes to keep from killing myself. my best way to relate to people is to bring them to my level of nothingness / not-knowing but most people can't reach it. i can't wait for the day i meet someone again and have the chance to let my compassion break through the walls that have built up miles high.

 

i actually really mean that sincerely.

 

 

 

Reality/existence doesn't care one shit about you. as a good friend once put it: "Geometry doesn't give a fuck." I really like that saying. i struggle to figure out what religion to subscribe to and all that but in the end it's geometry. however it can get better, people have love, we can work together to add some more love to our shitty society.

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Guest hahathhat

i am the at once the mouse and the corner it is backing up into. I am embracing my mousey friend. I am the wall. My mousey friend gnaws a small, happy hole in my chest. I grin with a paternal calmness. The mouse peers through his hole and sees something or other.

 

mouse cowers in the corner and defecates.

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