usagi Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 reddit link When a kid is being a brat in a noisy and public area, I casually get close to them and fart on their head/face. I'm really tall so it's usually a direct hit. ... However, a few times I've been called out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lumpenprol Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Lol, that's definitely up there with vintage McGriff The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn't wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart's implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward...and forward would mean certain death. I had positioned myself well on the higher ground, free to escape or relent at any time and him, poor and immobilized: biding his time until the cruel attack was over. Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremymacgregor87 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I'm all for it. there is no greater sense of satisfaction then thoroughly confusing and disgusting a child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disparaissant Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 "nefarious, hissing mephitis." tears rolling down my cheeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plstik Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart. fuck I´m dying bahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremymacgregor87 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn't wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart's implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward...and forward would mean certain death. I had positioned myself well on the higher ground, free to escape or relent at any time and him, poor and immobilized: biding his time until the cruel attack was over. Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu. OUTSTANDING post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOCfan Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Lol, that's definitely up there with vintage McGriff The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn't wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart's implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward...and forward would mean certain death. I had positioned myself well on the higher ground, free to escape or relent at any time and him, poor and immobilized: biding his time until the cruel attack was over. Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu. Fucking lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pylonbitch Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I'm all for it. there is no greater sense of satisfaction then thoroughly confusing and disgusting a child and giving them pink eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Blanket Fort Collapse Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 "nefarious, hissing mephitis." tears rolling down my cheeks. yeah that's when I did the lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rumbo Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 First comment underneath: Ah, yes, it has been a while since I've read Sun Tzu's lesser-known text, The Fart of War. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
essines Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 This thread title made my day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coalbucket PI Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 That was beautifully written Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huzur Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 at first i was like ughhhhhh thats some disturbing shit right there, but it was LOL all the way. i will let the tears dry off in peace without touching them, in honor for this great great man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fishtank Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFYv_FN2fVg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Calx Sherbet Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 oh my god that was killer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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