My vegetarian roommate decides to try his first burger without me

[Squee]

His stomach is going to explode after that burger.

[keltoi]

there's not enough burger tags in here...

 

you're talking like you've been cheated on

[Braintree]

vegetarians who eat fish are fucking assholes.

 

 

why do people always say this? "he doesn't eat meat but he eats fish". what kind of retarded statement is that. it's a living breathing creature and it was killed so he could feast on its flesh, it's meat.

 

[Dan C]

You should hit him with a big lump of bloodied meat, then scream at him until he eats it all up.

[data]

i was a vegetarian for 8 years until a couple of months ago, now i eat fish, so im not a vegetarian anymore, quite simple really.

 

i've been wanting to try out meat of some kind, but i just can't be arsed (so far), i mean ..it was hard enough

to put a piece of fish in my mouth, it sounds fucking retarded but it took months before i actually went through

with it.

 

i'll probably try it one of these days though ..stop being all girly about it ..

[keltoi]

bacon

[Guest abracadabra]

what burger joint was this, salads?

[Guest Iain C]

Wasn't a vegetarian.

[Guest Benedict Cumberbatch]

He wasn't a real vegetarian to begin with anyway.

 

qft

 

 

 

i heard a rumour that they now make these newfangled things called VEGGIEBURGERS!

[Guest Mr Salads]

what burger joint was this, salads?

 

Father's Office

 

Great beer, great burgers

 

But he didn't even go there. They went, and then it was too crowded so they went to some other fucking place the name of which I don't even remember.

 

He got home with a big grin on his face. Like he just had sex with a burger. Like he just stuck his cock between two buns and fucked the shit out of it. Then ate it.

 

Actually he said the experience was painful. He took one bite, didn't feel well, proceeded to take a few more, and thought he was going to have a panic attack and possibly pass out/vomit.

 

He was like "it's good you weren't there, it's better trust me."

 

...

 

He then proceeded to argue why it was good I wasn't there. As if he could just eschew years of history with me for one salacious night with some shitty ass burger. He didn't start with the burger he wanted to start with! He's like "we didnt even go to father's office."

 

No, you didn't, but you wanted to!! If it wasn't crowded you would have eaten there. In fact the only reason he DIDNT eat there is because she probably said "nah it's too crowded let's go somewhere else." and like a fucking lemming to the cliff he agrees.

 

my roommate's a fucking pussy. And he's not fucking pussy. He isn't going to get laid by eating burgers and looking like he's going to throw up. In fact if you want to impress a girl it's probably a good idea to eat the whole fucking burger like a man, not a goddamn pussy like he is.

 

God he's a fucking idiot.

 

I told him I'm not going back there with him unless he buys me a burger and a beer. I'm holding this shit to him. He's a fucking chump. he fucked up hard.

 

PS

I dont give a shit what his classification was. You vegetarians and you egalatarians etc can go fuck yourselves. Youre crazy in the head.

[Guest abracadabra]

Duuuuude, Father's Office is magnificent

[Guest JohnTqs]

[Guest Super lurker ultra V12]

a burger... in a burger.

 

 

 

..woah

[pcock]

about 3 of my best friends are proper vegetarian, and if they decided to eat a burger without me i really would not give a fuck

[delet...]

I can't believe this. I've known this guy for years. All the time I've known him he hasn't touched meat. He eats fish, that's it. No burgers. There's a great burger place that I enjoy quite a bit. We eat there often and I partake in their burgers.

 

he's been talking about breaking this diet and eating one of these delicious burgers himself. I am fucking stoked! I can't wait. I want to be there when it happens. It's like the shuttle launch. Or one of those hotels in las vegas being ripped down by explosives. you have to be there for it because it doesn't happen that often.

 

Well guess who's fucked up this plan?

 

That's right - a woman.

 

A fucking bitch he works with. He even told me, hey dude she's interested in seeing me try one of these burgers. I say, cool man. just remember, I have to be there too.

 

ANd today he's like "We're going there for dinner." I said "Do not have a burger. This is important. Wait."

 

He refused to say "Okay, I won't."

 

He didn't say he would. But he didn't say he wouldn't, either. So that's already a prick move in my opinion.

 

He was like "I can deny it, you won't know unless I have the smell of meat on me."

 

That isn't the point. The point is, WHERE'S THE FUCKING RESPECT.

 

For a woman, A WOMAN WHO HAS A BOYFRIEND SHE LIVES WITH BUT APPARENTLY DISLIKES, he's going to eschew years of history with me for one night where she can see him eat a burger.

 

 

 

WHAT A FUCKTARD.

I'm genuinely pissed.

 

 

 

dude ... (to keep in the vernacular) .. now i know all about bro's before ho's .. but if this pal of yours hooked up with the femme sexually through his betrayal of the code .. it's all good right ... yeah ... dude ...

 

 

;-p :: E|-;

[delet...]

main thing is .. that i think you have finally come to the point in your life where you understand the truely awesome power of the pussy ... many a friend it is that i have seen who have done this or that against the generally agreed but someone naive consensuses held by single men in their pre-infatuation state ...

 

it's a sad thing to come to realise .. something in life that brings with it disappointment in your fellow man .. but also a deeper wisdom that helps loosen the chains of ignorance from around your mind just a little ..

 

 

 

---------------- ::

[Guest boo]

he wasn't even a vegetarian

[delet...]

i haven't lost my faith in people .. by understanding that they constantly colour the truth and easily stray from their promises to the future and strongly stated convictions ... but it does leave me a little less trusting around the bulk of humanity ...

 

heh ... sorry to divert into dime store philosopuke ...

 

---------------------------

[Q27]

Man, your friend is a jerk. I understand how you feel. He should have waited. Bros. before hoes man (lol). Even though I can't think of any things I'd want to be there for when my best friend does them, I'd want to be there for them. Yeh.

[essines]

So gay.

[Guest sero_13]

I had a mate at uni who was a veggie for ages and just flipped when his missus split up with him so he had a week of meat. I'll never forget the first time he tucked into that bacon sandwich... ah memories.

 

Turns out he was a little bit mental. Thats why I now find it difficult to trust vegetarians.