Guest Rightsidedrive Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 shouldnt we have one of these/ HERES MINE So one day a young man gos to confess himself. and upon confessing his sin to the priest, the priest tells him, my son your sin is great. You must submit 20 hailmarys, AND also, do a random act of kindness to ameliorate this blasphemous aggravation. I suggest you give 20 dollars to the first stranger you meet upon leaving this church. So the man did his prayers and left the church. Outside he saw a beautiful young lady upon a bench, and slowly approaching her he said, please damsel. take these twenty dollars, do me a favor you will. Alas, I cannot young man, i do apologize. Please, he begged, no one will know, just take them im plead to you. I cannot, I will not she retorted. Dammit he said, the priest told me i should give you twenty dollars. Well, she said, thats different, clergymen obviously get a discount. maybe u got a better one, im sure actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 yeah the first joke is one of the worst ive ever heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rightsidedrive Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 could be a cultural thing, its translated from spanish to anglais, salvadorean in origin i think, or mexican, to simplify what's the difference between a priest and a zit? a zit waits till you're 13 to come all over your face hahaha i like you stuck to the theme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr lopez Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 That show "The Amazing Race", is that about white people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capsaicin Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 I felt terrible posting this, so I'll just edit it off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 a gump classic, what do you call a cow who can count? a cowculater Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoodie Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 a neutron walks into a bar. it orders a beer. the bartender hands the beer over and says, "here you go, no charge." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babar Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 I've got nothing else than a charade at the moment, so that's (e?)specially for the canadians, and brian. Bon à l'écrit ca vaut rien, mais apres qqs coupes de vins ca peut etre amusant... Mon tout est la capitale de la France Mon premier est ce que fait le temps -PA car ne t'en fais pas Mon second est ce que fait la pierre -R car le Rockfeller Mon troisieme est ce que fait le diable -S car Méphistofelès. : "et le I, t'as oublié le I" -"hé c'est toi pardi car le confetti !" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rightsidedrive Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 haha. another translated joke... so one day in the kingdom that one king that had a huge dick, charles or something, he made a competition right. the competition was this, whoever in the kingdom could withstand his girth would get a golden hammock. An old lady, upon seeing the announcement, decide to go tell her two young granddaughters. My girls she said, the king has announced that if you can withstand his girth you will get a hammock. Granny we shall go said the damsels, and off they headed. Alas they returned soon, limping. Granny the first said, i barely withstood the tip of the head and had to call it quits, and me, said the second girl, could barely take half before I almost passed out. Very well, said the granny, looks like this is a job for someone with experience, and rolling up her sleeves she marched off the to the castle. A few moments later, the two granddaughters see their granny, waddling down the cobblestone road, golden hammock around her neck. Granny they screamed, we knew you could do! No my girls she said, its just that i actually defecated on the damn thing so ive got to go wash it at the river before i return it! theres more where that came from. also, i wish i knew french. le frommage le baguette le poissant, cest nest pas probleme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 HOW MANY COKS DOESE IT TAKE TOS UCK A DICK ANSWER IS 50 QUEER FUCK LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babar Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 oh yes i've got one : On a shiny morning, a man wakes up thinking he's got quite a big one. He's also thinking he could be a member of this big-sized wang club he passed by the day before. So our man decides to go knock at the club's door. One supercilious man opens the door. "May I help you ?". "Yes, i'm here because i think I could enter the club" he says, self-confident. "Shall you show me your tool please sir ?" The man unzips his pants, not without some pride. "Shh" the other man says, lifting up one of his pants legs "And I'm only the doorman". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 oh yes i've got one : On a shiny morning, a man wakes up thinking he's got quite a big one. He's also thinking he could be a member of this big-sized wang club he passed by the day before. So our man decides to go knock at the club's door. One supercilious man opens the door. "May I help you ?". "Yes, i'm here because i think I could enter the club" he says, self-confident. "Shall you show me your tool please sir ?" The man unzips his pants, not without some pride. "Shh" the other man says, lifting up one of his pants legs "And I'm only the doorman". BABAR, i dont understand. basically it's a guy who thinks he has a big dong and it's not that big? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rightsidedrive Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 haha. okay here goes. so this one guys is having problems going number two, so he decides to go the doctor. Doctor he says, I have quite some difficulty in taking a dump, please help me. Okay laddie, the doctor says, please enter the examination room and remove your clothes. the patient does as told and waits for the doctor. The doctor enters, and upon seeing the patients humongous member, scratches his chin and then asks, when you try to defecate, do you have your member inside the bowl, or outside? Well, inside sir, the patient replies. the doctor gives out a hearty laugh, and states, well there is your problem, my man!, at the sight of your humongous penis, you are asshole gets scared shitless! ah, good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 please stop telling jokes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 a piece of rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. the bartender says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING ROPE!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rightsidedrive Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 is that to just me? cuz i was running out anyways,but it does seem like your avatar was enjoyin them atleast, as was mine. edit,directed to messiahen a piece of rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. the bartender says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING ROPE!". class. this is what its all about folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babar Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 oh yes i've got one : On a shiny morning, a man wakes up thinking he's got quite a big one. He's also thinking he could be a member of this big-sized wang club he passed by the day before. So our man decides to go knock at the club's door. One supercilious man opens the door. "May I help you ?". "Yes, i'm here because i think I could enter the club" he says, self-confident. "Shall you show me your tool please sir ?" The man unzips his pants, not without some pride. "Shh" the other man says, lifting up one of his pants legs "And I'm only the doorman". BABAR, i dont understand. basically it's a guy who thinks he has a big dong and it's not that big? well i'm not too sure about "lifting up one pants leg"(just tell me what i should have say) i just meant that the doorman "pulls his pant up" like if he was showing his sock, but he's actually showing his cock. yet he's just the doorman. here is another one This is the story of an Navajo who has fought the war on omaha beach. The fights are over, and he's walking in the street of a charming little burg. At one point he meets an old Frenchman who try to communicate with hand signs. Hey boy, are you a paratrooper ? *forms an arc in the air* Are you from the infantry ? *walks his fingers from right to left* Or maybe you're from the cavalry ? *acts as if riding a horse* Ah i get it, you're from the navy *his hands turn into binoculars* But the navajo runs away, obviously frightened. A few months later, he's back to his homeland. The head-man calls him in his teepee. "So warrior, did you kill a lot of enemies ?" "Yes i did Great Eagle" "Did you experience fear" "No... yes, just once" "What happened" "I met a man who spoke our language" "What did he say ?" "He told me : when the sun will be set, and when everyone will be away, i'm gonna ride you till your eyes pops out of you head" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rightsidedrive Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 oh yes i've got one : On a shiny morning, a man wakes up thinking he's got quite a big one. He's also thinking he could be a member of this big-sized wang club he passed by the day before. So our man decides to go knock at the club's door. One supercilious man opens the door. "May I help you ?". "Yes, i'm here because i think I could enter the club" he says, self-confident. "Shall you show me your tool please sir ?" The man unzips his pants, not without some pride. "Shh" the other man says, lifting up one of his pants legs "And I'm only the doorman". BABAR, i dont understand. basically it's a guy who thinks he has a big dong and it's not that big? well i'm not too sure about "lifting up one pants leg"(just tell me what i should have say) i just meant that the doorman "pulls his pant up" like if he was showing his sock, but he's actually showing his cock. yet he's just the doorman. here is another one This is the story of an Navajo who has fought the war on omaha beach. The fights are over, and he's walking in the street of a charming little burg. At one point he meets an old Frenchman who try to communicate with hand signs. Hey boy, are you a paratrooper ? *forms an arc in the air* Are you from the infantry ? *walks his fingers from right to left* Or maybe you're from the cavalry ? *acts as if riding a horse* Ah i get it, you're from the navy *his hands turn into binoculars* But the navajo runs away, obviously frightened. A few months later, he's back to his homeland. The head-man calls him in his teepee. "So warrior, did you kill a lot of enemies ?" "Yes i did Great Eagle" "Did you experience fear" "No... yes, just once" "What happened" "I met a man who spoke our language" "What did he say ?" "He told me : when the sun will be set, and when everyone will be away, i'm gonna ride you till your eyes pops out of you head" hahaha, excellent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pen1562001 Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 http://earsucker.com/2009/04/19/madonna-involved-in-horseback-riding-injury/ http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/17/madonna.injuries/index.html Someone should tell her to ride on the horse, not under it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaarg Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 A member of the We are the music makers forum comes to another member of the We are the music makers forum and utters: "Lol?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dirty Protest Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 Whats the smallest pub in the world? The Thalidomide Arms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ezkerraldean Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 no audible lols recalibrate lolometer to 20μLOL with sampling rate of 60kHz, no lols detected Whats the smallest pub in the world? The Thalidomide Arms LOLs off the scale Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brian trageskin Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 I've got nothing else than a charade at the moment, so that's (e?)specially for the canadians, and brian. Bon à l'écrit ca vaut rien, mais apres qqs coupes de vins ca peut etre amusant... Mon tout est la capitale de la France Mon premier est ce que fait le temps -PA car ne t'en fais pas Mon second est ce que fait la pierre -R car le Rockfeller Mon troisieme est ce que fait le diable -S car Méphistofelès. : "et le I, t'as oublié le I" -"hé c'est toi pardi car le confetti !" arrête la coke babar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babar Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 C'est vrai, je vois bien Hugo en train de sniffer la coke, pendant qu'il écrit les misérable tout en enculant la bonne. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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