Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Hi, just been doing a bit of writing tonight, trying to write some really moving stuff that will sooth the senses. Started thinking about some daily shit and put it into words, The Lucid Bum was meant to start out as a poem, but i've done it in a rush, on buckfast, off the cuff, it's a bit of a mess but hopefully it will take shape in about a week. Mods (i hope) won't put it into the nonsense forum, because i will be unable to build on it from there. Because no-one can reply in there. Anyway, feel free to develop and shape it. I'll check when i get back from the pub The Lucid Bum Walking to the hospital is a daily routine, i go in the same door and leave by the same door at 5.30pm Over the years i have had many modes of transport for my 4 mile trip from my front door, Time is a factor, i want to be at the hospital at 8am to brief my nurses, my prefered mode of transport is mountain bike, i zip through the traffic like Flash Gordon, yes indeed The bus is fine, yet slow and unreliable, car is good, but i get road rage, the slowness Yet while the transport is a variable, one constant remains. The Lucid Bum The Lucid Bum is a man who is always in the same place at the same time, Newington, lying on the pavement having pissed his pants He sits there staring at the off licence, waiting for it to open, when walking past him, i step over the river pish, on the bus i see him there, same place same time. Waiting for the off licence to open up. He sits there, glazed eyes, a man who has had a life of hell. If his brain was a computer you would reformat the hard drive to see if it would start working normally again. You would sit there in hope, as it rebooted. But this is the Lucid Bum. There is something in his eyes that tells me he might realise his situation but is helpless to conquer his demons. The man is a living embodyment of regularity. He is always there, on the pavement. How does the Lucid Bum survive? There is something in his eyes that tells me he has the intelligence to get through this, but i cycle/walk/bus past his urine stained patch and don't say a word. And then at 5.30pm i leave for home and there he is. Same place as he was the past 18 months. Lying on the pavement, docile as fuck. Vacant. Lucid. Total Bum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 it reads like david bowie should be singing it. B+ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 LOL, B+ i would accept at this point. It will progress into an interesting story or something, tomorrow maybe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IRARI Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 the sensitive side of Clitterhaus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 Greetings. Still trying to figure out a good way of telling the story of this lucid bum. Lucid means he is in state of awareness. But....yeah....just the way he sits there. Internet user LUDD could surely lend a hand at some point to kickstart this juggernaut of thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Fuck what, this is great. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 the third line is a monstrous run-on sentence with 200% too many commas either make it into two lines and punctuate them tastefully; or else break it up using other means: semicolons, colons, ellipses... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 George, you can shape this story, your words were impressive (the one about the clit flicking). Let out your literally genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 the third line is a monstrous run-on sentence with 200% too many commas Indeed. Tried to pack in too much detail about the buses, bikes, etc. Don't worry, thats something that will be amended in the next draft. Still hold ambitions about getting this shit to rhyme...maybe turn it into a rap or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 i plan to arrive at the hospital at 8am to brief my nurses time is of the essence; i zip through the traffic on my mountain bike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 19, 2009 Author Share Posted December 19, 2009 Thats a start at least. Hoodie, what you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoodie Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 i just left this page on my browser while i was making a sandwich, didn't actually read it sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 19, 2009 Author Share Posted December 19, 2009 I believe thats lies. Now beome the creature god meant you to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoodie Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 i'm done with the sandwich. it was fucking good. deli sliced chicken breast, cheddar cheese, mustard, mayo, ground peppercorn and pickles on wheat bread. *sandwichgasm* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 19, 2009 Author Share Posted December 19, 2009 Been writing load of stuff, but dont know if its any good so im not posting it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 'been writing load of stuff, but dont know if its any good so im not posting it'; i buckle and hock ptoooie this shit into the meagre spitoon; it's becoming hard to tell what is ream and what is dreality as troon emerges from the wall i kick him squarely in the balls; 'take that, you waste of space'; but troon is a christian, and before i know it i'm the leader of a commune hey joyrex now would be a good time to post some titties Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Hi, just been doing a bit of writing tonight, trying to write some really moving stuff that will sooth the senses. Started thinking about some daily shit and put it into words, The Lucid Bum was meant to start out as a poem, but i've done it in a rush, on buckfast, off the cuff, it's a bit of a mess but hopefully it will take shape in about a week. Mods (i hope) won't put it into the nonsense forum, because i will be unable to build on it from there. Because no-one can reply in there. Anyway, feel free to develop and shape it. I'll check when i get back from the pub The Lucid Bum Walking to the hospital is a daily routine, i go in the same door and leave by the same door at 5.30pm Over the years i have had many modes of transport for my 4 mile trip from my front door, Time is a factor, i want to be at the hospital at 8am to brief my nurses, my prefered mode of transport is mountain bike, i zip through the traffic like Flash Gordon, yes indeed The bus is fine, yet slow and unreliable, car is good, but i get road rage, the slowness Yet while the transport is a variable, one constant remains. The Lucid Bum The Lucid Bum is a man who is always in the same place at the same time, Newington, lying on the pavement having pissed his pants He sits there staring at the off licence, waiting for it to open, when walking past him, i step over the river pish, on the bus i see him there, same place same time. Waiting for the off licence to open up. He sits there, glazed eyes, a man who has had a life of hell. If his brain was a computer you would reformat the hard drive to see if it would start working normally again. You would sit there in hope, as it rebooted. But this is the Lucid Bum. There is something in his eyes that tells me he might realise his situation but is helpless to conquer his demons. The man is a living embodyment of regularity. He is always there, on the pavement. How does the Lucid Bum survive? There is something in his eyes that tells me he has the intelligence to get through this, but i cycle/walk/bus past his urine stained patch and don't say a word. And then at 5.30pm i leave for home and there he is. Same place as he was the past 18 months. Lying on the pavement, docile as fuck. Vacant. Lucid. Total Bum. That was just.. terrible. OK, in all seriousness, do you really expect this cack-handed pile of ratwank to become anything more than a badly written piece of shit devoid of; a) Anything significant happening at all b) A character that has a personality c) Any reason whatsoever to read beyond the first sentence? Do you honestly think that, by posting it on WATMM, it will somehow improve itself? That something taking it beyond a waste of 279 bytes of memory will suddenly materialize, because a few poor sods on the internet have had the misfortune to read it? You don't. Admit it, you don't expect this story to "develop and shape" at all. This is just another one of your deliberate attempts at reducing the quality of WATMM. Because when you signed up, you never had the intention to post anything of value, or express any creativity, or become a valuable member. You came here to troll. To flame people, and to deliberately create shite threads. Were you doing anything productive by (repeatedly) advertising your "cat torturer thread" in the Confield/Week 7 discussion during the Ae listening experiment? Or starting a thread where you draw other members' feces in MS Paint? Or posting flame after flame at any other member's attempts to post a creative work? Are you going to come clean in this thread? Will you admit that you have always had disruptive intentions on WATMM? No, you won't. You'll just flame me for posting this, make a shitty attempt at insulting me, and continue slowly trying to make WATMM worse, because every subtle little dig at the community is a step in the right direction, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 19, 2009 Author Share Posted December 19, 2009 Groan, aren't you that Bitchy little BOC troll with a reputation like shit on this forum? I'm just going by word of mouth, i havent idea who you actually are, just went into the BOC forum and saw you being destroyed by a bunch of BOC fans, haha. They were ripping you apart. Extreme fail on almost every level imiginable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SR4 Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 i like flowers too Clit, i really think you have something here. keep working on it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Clitterhaus Posted December 19, 2009 Author Share Posted December 19, 2009 Whats this about flowers, Rutherford? I've been thinking about ways to develop the story. Maybe riding into the hospial on horseback. Wait a minute. Blue Flowers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 flowers to clit is a subconscious scott walker ref sorry bro What do Seoul/Sudan have in common? Both start with an S Deep as a virus Little Mary Little Mary From scratchless I ascend Stamps tongue-swabbed Now embark for the Ivory Coast Chiming like mouse bells BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM At the birth of a vermin Holy Ghost Stars led to sky Lash led to eye Herpes to clit Then stopped Expect I'm carried by lanterns Expect I will follow the aerosol patterns Immunity won't feed on the bodies Bones closing Too soon at the tips Won't feed on the bodies From the fat black crocodile on the sand bar Can't swallow it then bury it From the voice flooded semen clotting to paste Can't swallow it then bury it And the jigger raps pits Darkness long Jigger raps pits BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Shoes had to shine Splicing to swine Strain after strain after strain after strain Immunity Immunity Through the dominant wards and nurseries A flugleman moves In the lung-smeared slides and corridors A flugleman moves And his tune rises on the harvest clouds of dust Trading the wah-wah's for BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Stars led to sky Toe led to thigh Rumor to breast Then stopped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehauntingsoul Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 You've always been a cunt to me but that story was surprisingly intriguing. I seriously think you need to fucking talk to this guy and get his side of the story. That would probably be the most interesting piece of investigative journalism ever posted on Watmm, not that there is any though. But yeah seriously talk to the motherfucker and find out what his deal is, and then write your ass off. Good analogies goin on there, you have a fairly fluent style of writing too. Was tempted to just quote your post in my BoC vid thread but I saw Dragon already attempted something of that sort so I figured I won't derail this thread for you even though you have attempted to and succeeded in doing so many times in my threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 You've always been a cunt to me but that story was surprisingly intriguing. I seriously think you need to fucking talk to this guy and get his side of the story. That would probably be the most interesting piece of investigative journalism ever posted on Watmm, not that there is any though. But yeah seriously talk to the motherfucker and find out what his deal is, and then write your ass off. Good analogies goin on there, you have a fairly fluent style of writing too. Was tempted to just quote your post in my BoC vid thread but I saw Dragon already attempted something of that sort so I figured I won't derail this thread for you even though you have attempted to and succeeded in doing so many times in my threads. Yeah, here's said post: It's a pile of shit, quite frankly. The worst. He's also, quite recently, posted this about you: The guy is a complete fucking retard. ...and this is nothing new... Dull as fuck and really lazy. Watching windows media player would have been more entertaining. Can't believe anyone would try and pass that off as a "video". Awful, just awful. What did you say earlier, Clitty? just went into the BOC forum and saw you being destroyed by a bunch of BOC fans, haha. They were ripping you apart. Extreme fail on almost every level imiginable [sic]. Oh, you mean this solitary five-word post by yet another WATMM troll? please fuck off and die Right, OK. Well, my self-confidence has been successfully crushed into dust, I think I'll go and post my last words into /b/ - Random before committing An Hero with a coathanger. Thanks for showing me the light, Dr. Clitterhaus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest greenbank Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 i've never seen that dude unless he's new - i always just see 'tweedledum & tweedledee' - the 2 tubby hilarious jakeys that look alike and spend all day pouring cider into their big red alky faces from (weirdly enough) pewter style tankards. them and lighter fluid huffing dude who i seriously can't believe is still alive since he's been a fixture in newington on & off for 7 years or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perunamuusi Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 I've been thinking about ways to develop the story. Maybe riding into the hospial on horseback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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