Need some reviews for your music ?

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

It's so out there. You pay for your own cd reviews.

 

ReviewYou is the solution for musicians who want to receive professional reviews from seasoned music writers.

 

We’ll assign your review to one of our writers who has experience in your genre, and two weeks later you’ll have a solid, objective review delivered straight to your inbox. Our Writers cover all major genres, and most sub-genres. For a full list of genres, see our FAQ‘s

 

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http://www.reviewyou.com/

[Guest Iain C]

ha, that's hilarious. i'm a copywriter, this is a game i could get into. any watmmers fancy it? i'll do a 300-word review for £10, that's cheaper than these guys.

[Soloman Tump]

Hah, quality.

 

I'll do a 300 word review for a fiver...?

[BCM]

fuck it, I'll do it for £4... any advance on £4?

[Dan C]

£3.50

 

The Meet The Writers section is lovely

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

ha, that's hilarious. i'm a copywriter, this is a game i could get into. any watmmers fancy it? i'll do a 300-word review for £10, that's cheaper than these guys.

 

How does the credibility of a product / musician work if the review writer is supposedly a copwriter ? When one orders a review, the reviewer sign with his name, but his name is not attached to a site or music magazine or anything that makes the reader say "oh, pitchfork gave this record a 10" or "I can trust this review because the guy works for Q magazine"...In other words, a copywriter needs social proof for his review to be accepted as a legitimate one, right ?

[Guest Iain C]

well it's not going to be signed "Iain C, copywriter" is it?

 

it's going to be signed "Iain C, wire reader, watmm member" which is all the credibility anyone should need

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

well it's not going to be signed "Iain C, copywriter" is it?

 

it's going to be signed "Iain C, wire reader, watmm member" which is all the credibility anyone should need

 

In my mind, it's gonna be signed "Iain C." and that's about it, since the reader is not supposed to know you're a copywriter and that he does not care whether you are cooking activist or a butterfly catcher, he wants you to be some music authority. So the reader wonders who Iain C is, and concludes he's just some random guy, and then the review fails to impress.

[Guest mafted]

haha, i'd love to see what makes these people 'seasoned music writers'.

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

haha, i'd love to see what makes these people 'seasoned music writers'.

 

check their reviews section to get an idea of how objective they can get.

[Cryptowen]

Quick skim through some of their reviews, seems to be a lot of writing what they think the client wants to hear - compliments. It would be kind of amusing to submit an album consisting entirely of slowed down vacuum noise & see if they try to pass it off as hypnotic & unique.

[data]

that is just sad.

[Guest Beefuncle]

To be honest most people on WATMM make music to sound the way they want it to sound and the only opinions they really care about are other members.

 

Its much more important to get feedback from people that you know, who know you and who you respect.

 

Everyone has their own ambitions about what they want their music to sound like, its much more beneficial to get constructive criticism off someone who has an insight into your ambitions rather than some "writer" working for a weird journalist limbo website.

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

To be honest most people on WATMM make music to sound the way they want it to sound and the only opinions they really care about are other members.

 

Beautiful, so if the Wire reviews your cd positively, you wouldn't give a fuck ?

[Guest disparaissant]

i was telling my roommate about this and he brought up a valid point - you're essentially paying someone to sit through your god-awful music, and actually think critically about it, and make some effort to write a blurb about it.

anyone fancy making the most awful, ear-shattering, mind-raping pile of shit ever put to tape (or computer WHATEVER) and then maybe we can all chip in to literally force someone to sit through the whole thing? and write about it?

[Dan C]

They'd probably still give it no less than 3/5

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

i was telling my roommate about this and he brought up a valid point - you're essentially paying someone to sit through your god-awful music, and actually think critically about it, and make some effort to write a blurb about it.

anyone fancy making the most awful, ear-shattering, mind-raping pile of shit ever put to tape (or computer WHATEVER) and then maybe we can all chip in to literally force someone to sit through the whole thing? and write about it?

 

I'd be willing to participate. Let's make some tracks. Then we'd need to conceptualize the most horrible cover ever made.

 

I'm in. With dollars on the table.

[Guest disparaissant]

They'd probably still give it no less than 3/5

and that would be AMAZING!

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

They'd probably still give it no less than 3/5

 

Not so much about the rating, more about the blurb describing the tracks.

[Guest Beefuncle]

They'd probably still give it no less than 3/5

 

Not so much about the rating, more about the blurb describing the tracks.

 

I think a new thread is in order. Everyone posts their most nightmarish track possible and then a vote for the worst one to send in.

 

I think these guys do a good deal of research on who they're reviewing,

it's pretty likely they'd find this thread,

 

God that'd be hilarious!

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

I'm not even sure I could make a really crappy track, but I'm gonna do my best.

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

We'd also have to write a nice bio.

[chim]

To be honest most people on WATMM make music to sound the way they want it to sound and the only opinions they really care about are other members.

 

Its much more important to get feedback from people that you know, who know you and who you respect.

 

Everyone has their own ambitions about what they want their music to sound like, its much more beneficial to get constructive criticism off someone who has an insight into your ambitions rather than some "writer" working for a weird journalist limbo website.

 

On the money. Though I liked the idea about putting a seasoned jackoff through 60 minutes of ear-rape.

[Guest Beefuncle]

We'd also have to write a nice bio.

 

pick the track first then write the bio?

 

if done right this could be absolutely hilarious,

 

the bio would have to cite all the influences and make a really convincing case for the track as being designed intelligently. do they review single tracks? a compilation of different horrible tracks from several watmm'rs could be even funnier.

[Cryptowen]

http://www.mediafire.com/?q4alck7kq7wp251

 

Two minutes in Audacity FTW