Guest sirch Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 The Australian WATMMers seem like really nice people, and post a lot of funny and interesting stuff here. Fuck me, I'd love to visit Australia if it wasn't for my fear of the heat and it being such a costly trip. i agree. Australian's are often really nice people (not talking specifically about on the forum, tho i agree, but i mean irl). UKer's, mostly, are not generally very nice people, unless we have a really good reason to be :) i have family over in Oz - just 'fyi' - 2 Uncles and an Aunt and a bunch of cousins. they love it over there. 1 of my Uncles went over there in the 60's, i think, as a "10 pound pom", as they were known. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 You have failed the practice citizenship test. Questions answered correctly: 12 out of 24 (50%) Time taken: 14 minutes 29 seconds Some of these questions were ridiculous. What's the worst that could happen if someone enters the UK who doesn't know if 'Ulster Scots is a dialect which is spoken in Northern Ireland'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megapussi Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 You have failed the practice citizenship test. Questions answered correctly: 13 out of 24 (54%) Time taken: 05 minutes 49 seconds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sprigg Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 8 correct, 33%. What does any of this have to do with living in the UK? Seems like a load of Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velazquez Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 You have failed the practice citizenship test. Questions answered correctly: 12 out of 24 (50%) Time taken: 06 minutes 29 seconds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zazen Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Lets come up with some more realistic questions: If you're in a pub and a stranger comes up and motions at an empty seat next to you, what does it mean? - they want to sit there - they want to take the seat somewhere else and sit on it - they like the workmanship of the seat - they want you to sit on the seat and receive a head massage Outside of London, where can you get a pint of milk after 1am? - at the post office - at the local petrol station - via a call-out milkman - by knocking on a neighbours door Being completely and totally drunk is considered normal practice in which of the following situations: (tick all that apply) - on public transport - at any social gathering - at home on your own - in the town centre with 15 same-sex friends - on holiday in any location edit: changed milk question from 9am to 1am, due to beyond-zone-6 complaints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sirch Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Lets come up with some more realistic questions: If you're in a pub and a stranger comes up and motions at an empty seat next to you, what does it mean? - they want to sit there - they want to take the seat somewhere else and sit on it - they like the workmanship of the seat - they want you to sit on the seat and receive a head massage Outside of London, where can you get a pint of milk after 9pm? - at the post office - at the local petrol station - via a call-out milkman - by knocking on a neighbours door Being completely and totally drunk is considered normal practice in which of the following situations: (tick all that apply) - on public transport - at any social gathering - at home on your own - in the town centre with 15 same-sex friends - on holiday in any location are you really from the UK? if so, you should know that there are such things as 24hr supermarkets and other various 'mini-mart' types of places open til 11pm, outside of London...? i'm guessing you live in London and haven't often been outside of there... we are all incestuous bastards with 6 fingers, 9 toes, 3 eyes and 3 ears, outside of London, tho. this is an actual fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zazen Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 are you really from the UK? if so, you should know that there are such things as 24hr supermarkets and other various 'mini-mart' types of places open til 11pm, outside of London...? i'm guessing you live in London and haven't often been outside of there... we are all incestuous bastards with 6 fingers, 9 toes, 3 eyes and 3 ears, outside of London, tho. this is an actual fact. haha, sorry, i was thinking of one specific place outside of London. But yeah, being a Londoner I basically think of anywhere outside of zone 6 as being a strange place where people wear strange clothes, talk funny, and seem far too homogenous. I'll edit the question and change it to 1am. ; ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boo Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 yea even villages have co-op, open until 10 pm! there's 24 hr corner shop 1 min walk from me. not london. anyway, i got 8. which of the following is part of a Full English Breakfast? a. Krakowska b. Banger c. Liverwurst d. Lap cheong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sirch Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 are you really from the UK? if so, you should know that there are such things as 24hr supermarkets and other various 'mini-mart' types of places open til 11pm, outside of London...? i'm guessing you live in London and haven't often been outside of there... we are all incestuous bastards with 6 fingers, 9 toes, 3 eyes and 3 ears, outside of London, tho. this is an actual fact. haha, sorry, i was thinking of one specific place outside of London. But yeah, being a Londoner I basically think of anywhere outside of zone 6 as being a strange place where people wear strange clothes, talk funny, and seem far too homogenous. I'll edit the question and change it to 1am. ; ) how did you edit that, 26mins later? i thought you only got like 3mins or sumthin daft... nice one for the edit, tho lol out in the proper sticks you're probably right, you probably would have to go knock on a neighbours door for a pint of milk.. or walk 5 miles to the nearest garage... edit: but yeah, like tauboo says, even villages and small towns have places open til 10 or 11pm, at least... this is 2011, man! not 1951 !! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boo Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 or if you drive go to the nearest 24hr tesco, unlikely to be more than 5 miles from anywhere in the countryside Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sirch Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 or if you drive go to the nearest 24hr tesco, unlikely to be more than 5 miles from anywhere in the countryside would take ages to get there on the Tracktor tho wouldn't it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boo Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 no because a more direct route is possible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sirch Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 thank god i drive otherwise it would be a 30 min walk to the nearest Tesco Express... or heaven forbid i'd have to knock on one of my neighbours doors and actually speak to them. - another UK trait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Benedict Cumberbatch Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 You have failed the practice citizenship test. Questions answered correctly: 11 out of 24 (46%) luckily i aint ever coming back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
essines Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 no because a more direct route is possible lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sirch Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 but you have to dodge all the sleeping cows and sheep when you go that way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 out in the proper sticks you're probably right, you probably would have to go knock on a neighbours door for a pint of milk.. or walk 5 miles to the nearest garage... WHat !! Is there a curfew on driving cars after 23:00. ;-p or if you drive go to the nearest 24hr tesco, unlikely to be more than 5 miles from anywhere in the countryside ANd your supermarkets sell booze don't they. That's just beautiful. no because a more direct route is possible hah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sirch Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 out in the proper sticks you're probably right, you probably would have to go knock on a neighbours door for a pint of milk.. or walk 5 miles to the nearest garage... WHat !! Is there a curfew on driving cars after 23:00. ;-p or if you drive go to the nearest 24hr tesco, unlikely to be more than 5 miles from anywhere in the countryside ANd your supermarkets sell booze don't they. That's just beautiful. no because a more direct route is possible hah yes. and everyone must be in bed and lights out by 12 midnight. we wouldn't be Great Britain if we didn't get our 8 hours now would we! ..and yeah most supermarkets sell booze here, 24hrs, 'cept on Sundays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coalbucket PI Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 A shop assistant hands the change to a female customer and says 'There you go, mate'. He is: A) Telling her forcefully to get out of the shop B) Soliciting sex from her C) Has confused her for a man D) Unmarried E) B, C, and D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hexagon son Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Fuck me, I was born in England, and spent the most of my 20's there and this was my result: You have failed the practice citizenship test. Questions answered correctly: 8 out of 24 (33%) Time taken: 04 minutes 08 seconds They'll never let me back in X_X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 A shop assistant hands the change to a female customer and says 'There you go, mate'. He is: A) Telling her forcefully to get out of the shop B) Soliciting sex from her C) Has confused her for a man D) Unmarried E) B, C, and D I had a customer tell me the other day, an older lady, that she wasn't a 'mate'. I ignored the comment but proceeded from then on to use the identifier 'maam'. I was so fucking helpful (as usual), that she quickly got over her little turn at playing princess ninnie. Also, the answer would be D. heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.