spratters Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000JTOYLS/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending I finally discovered how to update the software in the pen. Since the pen seems to lack any visible USB port. Well there seems to be WIFI built into all the "Crystal Series" Bics.So all you need to do is write out the following on lined paper-((BIC CRYSTAL GLOBAL UPDATE WIFI))This will activate the software to search for any upgrades/updates availables.Best part is you do not need to be around any WIFI signal cause the pen is installed with Global WIFI (its free wifi for all of planet earth and some sides of the moon.... NASA and RUSSIA collaborated together on the project some years back and made it available for everyone earlier this year).1- You need to ensure you use lined paper (remember if using blue ink... you need blue lined paper and same for black ink.... Use black lined paper)2- works in any language (I only tested English so far)3- keep pen in a cool environment while updating cause pen seems to overheat during process and I found update goes faster when temp is nice and cool (freezing temps pose no benefit... so don't put the pen in the freezer while system upgrades/updates).4- I can not figure out a typical time for update to complete? It seems to take forever but then all of a sudden you pen writes way better. If your struggling with your pen now.... I suggest updating through Global WIFI and you to will see the benefits.If the update still does not improve pens performance... could be the battery going bad? I would check user manual for instructions section "trouble shooting after Global WIFI" Good luck and tell your classmates, fellow workers and even your kids in school that a GLOBAL WIFI UPDATE may be needed if their pen is not performing at its best!!! For many years, my dog Roentgen has been engaged in abstruse mathematical calculation and it has been his habit to carry a writing implement in his jaws when out walking and ruminating on matters cosmogonical.Recently, I bought him a BIC to facilitate his important work. Imagine my surprise the following day during walkies on seeing him rise slowly and smoothly into the air. The pop-eyed pooch levelled off at ten feet and I was forced to use his lead to tow him home like a helium-filled party balloon.Matters have moved on since that day. This morning I caught Roentgen practicing an impressive sequence of aerobatic manoeuvres in the kitchen garden. All went well until he misjudged an Immelman turn and crashed into the cucumber frames.So be warned -- there is evidently a learning curve. Nevertheless, five stars! Having unwrapped my new Bic pen from the two foot wide box Amazon sent it in, I happily started to write some memoirs in the A4 note pad I'd stolen from a small child earlier that day. With a bottle of Blue Nun and some sugar coated monkey nuts at my side, I set about penning my latest ode to existence, entitled 'If I Stick My Hand Up Here, Will My Dreams Come True?'.For a blissful three hours the pen was wonderful. However as I wended my merry way into the fourth hour of composition, I noticed that the pen was no longer writing what I wanted it to! Instead of recounting the delightful time I went punting on the river with Reverend Chumley on that clear August day when the mescaline was really kicking in, it instead began to write out such odd epithets as: 'Bow to your lord and master Shaberoth, he of the tentacles and oddly shaped genitalia' & 'The sky will rain blood as Shaberoth comes down among you...and waves his oddly shaped genitalia'.Imagine my surprise!I was further amazed when said demon lord Shaberoth appeared from the end of the pen in a cloud of sulfur...and waved his oddly shaped genitalia at me. This didn't phase me, having played rugby in my younger days, and I subdued the hellspawn with large Blue Nun and all the monkey nuts he could eat.So, while the pen did turn out to be possessed, a lovely evening was had by all - until Shaberoth ate my pet guinea pig Winklehoven. I had to kindly ask him to leave at that point.Other than this slight problem, the pen was very reliable and I still have it. Five stars!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soloman Tump Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 we dont pay taxes. We dont check our product reviews. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goDel Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Brilliant. Will read again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Frankie5fingers Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 could we turn this into a thread of other product reviews like this? cause this is hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghOsty Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 there's a whole subreddit dedicated to the reviews like this... /r/bestofamazon I think my favorite I've seen still has to be the reviews for Tuscan Milk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest happycase Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneToThirtySix Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 there's a whole subreddit dedicated to the reviews like this... /r/bestofamazon I think my favorite I've seen still has to be the reviews for Tuscan Milk I looked this up on amazon. Related searches included uranium ore and a Yodeling Pickle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sergeantk Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 there's a whole subreddit dedicated to the reviews like this... /r/bestofamazon I think my favorite I've seen still has to be the reviews for Tuscan Milk thank you so much for linking this edit: the subreddit is banned :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Tuscan Milk is one of the first and still one of the best. But these are great too: http://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-5717-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EII http://www.amazon.com/Chefn-102-205-017-Bananza-Banana-Slicer/dp/B004HINHKQ/ref=pd_sbs_k_4/177-5293913-3853017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Frankie5fingers Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Tuscan Milk is one of the first and still one of the best. But these are great too: http://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-5717-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EII http://www.amazon.com/Chefn-102-205-017-Bananza-Banana-Slicer/dp/B004HINHKQ/ref=pd_sbs_k_4/177-5293913-3853017 lol, those are great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneToThirtySix Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 http://www.amazon.com/Cloverdale-Fresh-Whole-Rabbit/product-reviews/B00012182G/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghOsty Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Tuscan Milk is one of the first and still one of the best. But these are great too: http://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-5717-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EII http://www.amazon.com/Chefn-102-205-017-Bananza-Banana-Slicer/dp/B004HINHKQ/ref=pd_sbs_k_4/177-5293913-3853017 I seriously hope some guy somewhere got an A in english for the rendition of The Raven in the Tuscan Milk reviews... it's fucking genius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spratters Posted January 12, 2013 Author Share Posted January 12, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audioblysk Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Search up sex toys on Amazon. Now those are some funny reviews, especially the butt plugs. On a related note, does anyone else think that Guitar Center makes up its site reviews? They all say the same things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Frankie5fingers Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 im pretty sure they do. i frequent the site a lot since i love looking up instruments. and they pretty do much all say the same. though it could also be the fact that any musician worth his weight in salt knows not to buy instruments from them. so all those reviews are from stupid kids that know nothing about instruments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneToThirtySix Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 I bought an Alesis Ion and a Roland Fantom X-8 from Guitar Center YEARS ago. Eventually I sold them both back to them. Awesome part: I bought the Ion floor model for reduced price, but sold it back to them for more than I paid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.