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Everything posted by baph

  1. McD’s makes me feel really bad for the cows, to be honest. Like, I’m not vegan or vegetarian but imagine being a cool and sensitive creature like a cow and then dying to become food and you’re thinking hey I’m a cow so at least I’ll be turned into something truly exceptional and delicious but you end up as some dry grey flavorless slab at a macadonaru’s and get scarfed down by some sad fuck who feels absolutely nothing but burgeoning regret. I can think of nothing worse except maybe if the sad fuck also dips you in ranch dressing in search of lost flavor.
  2. RIP/Uhhh ya got any gum?
  3. baph


    :quietly removes Firefly decals from personal automobile:
  4. I just watched Mr. Inbetween and something about the balance between the naturalistic “shooting the shit” scenes and Sudden Violence shoehorned into a 30 minute format gave it a nice surreal vibe, similar to what Louie could have been like if Louie killed people instead of just beating his meat in front of an unwilling audience. They kind of marketed it as Australian Breaking Bad but it should have been marketed as Australian Louie with 2% less jokes about cumming (there are still a lot of jokes about cumming). Some surprisingly good acting. I hope Scott Ryan gets some more work (and doesn’t jerk off in front of anyone).
  5. I haven’t been able to find a good (sustainable) job since 2014. I’m overqualified or under-qualified for everything. I have a law degree from a top 20ish law school and it’s useless, but on the plus side it put me seemingly insurmountable debt. Maybe I just actually suck at everything. Hard not to feel like giving up most days, at this point. There’s a weird swelling on my cat’s abdomen and he’s almost 12 and I really need to have my little buddy around.
  6. Yeah man never heard of it why what are they saying man are they saying something what are they saying what did you hear?
  7. Cumbo The Cum of All Fears Clear and Present Donger
  8. Nah, if Zoomers named drugs it would all be like “Yeetwap” and “Fuccligma” and shit.
  9. baph

    Now Reading

    Re: Stephnson’s Fall: Still, some nice ideas in the book. The social media/augmented reality/hoax stuff in the first third could have been enough to sustain a novel on its own, probably. I liked it, but it’s my least favorite thing from him. It looks like Neal’s next book might be another “rich guy with big idea” thing and I sort of hoped he’d move on from that narrative obsession after writing another book about Dodge. In hindsight I’m starting to wonder how he managed to write all of Anathem without needing to fixate on the supplier of capital.
  10. baph

    170871 50

    Have a lovely day. I hope your card came.
  11. It’s everything you want, it’s everything you need, it’s everything inside of you that you wish you could be. It says all the right things at exactly the right time, but it means nothing to you and you don’t know why.
  12. A sweet mentally handicapped boy is elected president of the United States and accidentally puts the world on the brink of nuclear war when he mistakes the leader of a rival superpower for a beloved character in a children’s book. As the doomsday clock ticks closer to midnight, all hope appears to be lost. But President Gordo has something unexpected in his arsenal… a killer hug. Can the power of innocence warm the hearts of two nations? Find out in “Gordo!” (Currently seeking distribution.)
  13. baph


    Whoh oh, oh This disport is so augmatic (AUGMATIC) It is like a kind of magic (MAGIC) And baby when you dance I can see a bowl of crisps in your eyes (EYES)
  14. I wrote a script for a GB sequel and it was literally just Ray screaming “bustin makes me feel good” with his wang in the containment unit for 90 minutes and then they go ahead and make this shit instead
  15. baph


    he may be a fat fuckin pederast but at least he does his own oil changes
  16. baph


    nobody to sit, nobody to stand. it’s awful.
  17. I forgot to ever listen to this, sorry Lusty. :makes a note to listen to this: Edit: oh it has vocals though? Getting nervous again.
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