BCM Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 thoughts of "I love you but... could there be anyone else out there?" running around in her head. to put it bluntly - it's fucked. sounds harsh, but dump her before she dumps you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goffer Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 yes it is fucked... this has been the most miserable night of my life. Sitting here since 9PM, now 5:30AM with nothing but my fucking thoughts keeping me awake. i can't dump her... i love her... fuckkkkk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 i feel for you mate, i've been through the exact same thing years ago and it bloody hurt. the fact is, she's 21 and unless you guys are going to get married and live the rest of your lives together then what's the point? she's young and probably just wants to see other men before she settles down simple as that. i think it's quite likely she's probably already been unfaithful... sorry dude... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goffer Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I know she has been faithful, she is a golden girl... just yes... i know... she wants to go live a little. We were so fucking happy together 4-5 months ago then I got this job and turned into a stale turd, unresponsive to her needs, and I see her now, that i look back, trying hard to pull me out of it but I was just in this terrible funk which finally dissipated during our break when I realized wtf i was doing. Father time will tell I suppose but god damn does it hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coalbucket PI Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 My girlfriend met me in a pub and she got really drunk and a little embarrassing, we went to a party full of spanish people and then went to her home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yegg Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 What the fuck, BCM!? It doesn't sound like that at all, I don't know how you could extrapolate all the shit from that one comment. Women will say those things from time to time if they feel neglected, it definitely does not signal an end to a relationship, I doubt she would leave you after five years just because she is pent up with curiosity or ennui. It helps to spend time doing something new together, like take a weekend cooking class or something gay like that, keep it fresh. Sorry to hear about it, though, goffer =[ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jim Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 you bought a $450 present to a 21 year old girl?! What age are you goffer? I mean it's a really nice gesture but a bunch of flowers/ chocolates/ nice item of clothing not more than 50 woulda done it! Anyway, no point in worrying about something you can't control. But i'm wondering if you really do love her or you're just a bit afraid of being single again after 5 years (which might explain the extravagant gestures) cos i've certainly been in that position myself. Could be i'm totally wrong. Either way chill out, women can smell desperation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 well, i guess goffer will just have to wait and see.... however from my considerable experience, if a woman says she is wondering if there "could be anyone else for her" etc, then that's it for the relationship. especially if that woman is 21 and not been in another serious relationship - she is naturally curious to find out if there may be someone better suited to her or who could offer her more. nothing wrong with that at all by the way, i don't believe anyone should settle down into one relationship until they are a bit older or have experienced at least a few different relationships with different people. the reason i was being so blunt is that i feel goffer should stop holding onto something that in my opinion is probably dead or dying and that will only bring him more pain by trying to keep it alive. better to cut your losses now and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jim Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 i sort of agree with bcm although i think he's perhaps being a tad overdramatic. But yeah, to a 21 year old girl the sleazy advances of some cheesy bastard who grinds random women in a club can be just as effective as a thoughtful and expensive gesture such as goffer's. If you really want her to stay interested mate i think the key might lie in sleazing yourself up a bit, maybe a quick shag in a public space or a trip to ann summers. Something to let her know that by staying with you she's not gonna miss out on novel sex experiences to put in her mental diary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 how was what I said overdramatic? if i'd said "I guarantee she's snagging at least 4 black guys" that would have been overdramatic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jim Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 "something that in my opinion is probably dead or dying and that will only bring him more pain by trying to keep it alive. better to cut your losses now and move on." just that seems a little bit strong. Maybe it's not dead or dying, the curiosity is natural. I'd agree that it's HIGHLY POSSIBLE but by no means a certainty that she actUally wants to end the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I think drawing such surefire, drastic conclusions from one thing that a person you dont even know has said could be classed as being midly overdramatic. bit late Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 when i was reading goffer's first post i was thinking to myself, oh shit, game over man, get out while you can, because it took me back to my early twenties. saying she has been unfaithful though is a little much. but i know how you feel goffer. maybe it will work out and maybe it wont but, just do what you feel like doing and you'll figure it out. i went through this with my first love and it was awful, but later on in life i went through this same thing with the girl who turned out to be my wife, and we are very happy and on solid ground together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 i obviously meant shagging, not snagging - stupid iphone predictive text. anyway, whatever, i wish goffer the best and feel for him, i know what i'd do (with the benefit of hindsight through experience), but maybe it'll work out for the best - i hope it does for goffer's sake, but i don't hold out much hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunnar Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 get her pregnant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 good plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goffer Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Thanks watmm... I took home the emo award this morning when I deliquesced into my bed after work without a single movement until 12 hours later when my girlfriend gave me a ring. I'm feeling a lot better now, hoping for the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest analogue wings Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Thanks watmm... I took home the emo award this morning when I deliquesced into my bed after work without a single movement until 12 hours later when my girlfriend gave me a ring. I'm feeling a lot better now, hoping for the best. good luck dude. if you got past the end of the initial honeymoon period 4 3/4 years ago, she must be mature enough to see past the end of her own nose. there is hope! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 yeah these deliberations can also come before big commitments. going through the options in her head does not mean she'll decide it's over, or that she's cheated on you ffs! years ago when moving in together with my mrs was the obvious next step i almost pushed her away cos i didn't feel ready for the commitment and lifechange... best thing i could do was realise i was being a chicken, put my concerns to the back of my mind and give it a go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goffer Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 thanks for the input keltoi :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Benedict Cumberbatch Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 on my way home i've almost crashed into the city mayor. and blew it. he held my shoulder saying: "slowly please, slowly." :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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