Guest Yegg Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Keep a box cutter with you, make a deep across the bottom of the roll, and yank out the stack of clean rectangular strips of TP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Calx Sherbet Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 i once went into a restroom that had no door, but rather a curving mini-hall. and inside it had automatic flushing toilets. it also had automatic sink (with warm water), automatic SOAP dispensers for god's sake and automatic paper towel dispensor. you heardly have to do anything. if only the mirrors were automatic, then they could look at you FOR you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted October 21, 2009 Author Share Posted October 21, 2009 i once went into a restroom that had no door, but rather a curving mini-hall. and inside it had automatic flushing toilets. it also had automatic sink (with warm water), automatic SOAP dispensers for god's sake and automatic paper towel dispensor. you heardly have to do anything. if only the mirrors were automatic, then they could look at you FOR you No automatic ass wipers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Calx Sherbet Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 that was the only thing missing. oh and i guess there was no moving sidewalk into the stall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barricade Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 ok last one: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
encey Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 ok last one: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yegg Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 ok last one: Wtf is he FFFUUUUing about? He's got a newspaper in in his hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barricade Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Wtf is he FFFUUUUing about? He's got a newspaper in in his hands. do you want inky butt cheeks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 what about the McWash? they're shit aren't they. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beatfanatic Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Wtf is he FFFUUUUing about? He's got a newspaper in in his hands. do you want inky butt cheeks? I would rather have inky butt cheeks than shitty butt cheeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 i really want to stick my dick in a dyson air blade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Wtf is he FFFUUUUing about? He's got a newspaper in in his hands. do you want inky butt cheeks? I would rather have inky butt cheeks than shitty butt cheeks But they will be inky shitty buttcheeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 inky stinky buttcheeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Enter a new display name Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 ok last one: Wtf is he FFFUUUUing about? He's got a newspaper in in his hands. Preventing the toilet from clogging with a newspaper would be my greatest concern in this situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beatfanatic Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 ok last one: Wtf is he FFFUUUUing about? He's got a newspaper in in his hands. Preventing the toilet from clogging with a newspaper would be my greatest concern in this situation. once the newspaper gets wet, it probably has the same properties as paper tissues. I wouldnt worry too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 *jizzes on porn magazine* *wipes ass with it* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakapo Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 i really want to stick my dick in a dyson air blade I saw a man wash his penis (uncircumsied) in the public basin today. He then dried it in a Dyson Airblade. I didn't stare him down. Don't do it... the horror, the horror... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beatfanatic Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 lol I must have been the only one who didnt know about the mechanics of Dyson Airblade till now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hahathhat Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 this reminds me... a place i used to work at, they had these dispensers that proudly advertised themselves as the ROLLMASTER 3000. now, i'm not much for reading on the shitter. i just tend to daydream a bit. so, i'd always image this conversation down in HR: "Oh, yeah, we switched bathrooms over to ROLLMASTER 3000 here in Tools Group -- repairs are down 50%" "You don't say?? We've had good luck with the ARSEMASTER 3700 but we feel they're overpriced" what do they talk about down in HR, anyways?? someone let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 They talk about employers state of mind and body a lot in HR. Is he fit for the job? Does he drink too much? Does he have personal issues, and is he bringing them to work? I have no idea if it's the same for all companies but this is the kind of stuff my dads workplace HR talks about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest zaphod Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 LMAO Barricade! The toilets here have that fuckin TP-snapping feature. The key is to unroll it soooooo slowly you are going to shit yourself. Also, we have motion-detecting flushing mechanisms, which leads to this: - I enter the bathroom and hear the toilet flush. - But the door is open, so I enter the stall. The toilet flushes again. - I turn around and begin to unbuckle. The toilet flushes. - I pull my pants down and squat to sit on the toilet seat. The toilet flushes again, and sprays my ass and the toilet seat with water. - Someone walks in, so I pretend I don't exist. - I sit down on the toilet and, as I begin to pee, lean over to unzip my bag to pull out a crossword. The toilet flushes, spritzing my cock, balls and choad with pee-water. - I'm doing my crossword and deploy the first wave of GI Joes into the breach. The toilet flushes, making a Baskin Robbins Triple Fudge Chunk Jackson Pollack on the pimpled canvas of my nether-region. - I spend 35 minutes getting my toilet paper ready, as per the method above. I stand up to begin wiping, and the toilet flushes, dusting the toilet seat with my anal umbridge as if it were a chocolate-powdered porcelain donut. The other person has finished peeing and pauses momentarily to reflect on this being the third toilet flush in the span of five minutes. - I finish wiping and lean over to pull up my pants, and the toilet flushes. - I open the door and step out of the stall. I make eye contact with the other person, whom I recognize, as he is leaving. The toilet flushes. He looks back at me, eyes narrowed, on the way out. - I wash my hands and open the bathroom door to leave. There is a cute girl standing outside. She hears the toilet flush again. The other person who was in the bathroom is right there, taking a call on his cell phone. He points, and then the girl looks, at me. - I'm so angry a teardrop of poo-goo leaks out of my third eye. I must go back into the bathroom to crap and wipe again. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK lol i love motion detecting flushing mechanisms. i was using the restroom the other day and as i got up the toilet flushed and the water began to rise to just level with the top of the bowl. it was a close call but there wasn't anything i could do, so i left. on my way out a man passed me and entered the stall and i heard the toilet flush again, then the distinct sound of water hitting the floor and "ffffffuuuuuuuuuuu" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehauntingsoul Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Two plausible solutions: 1 - Bring your own TP or, if that seems like too much hassle/you have to keep getting more to bring in... 2 - Bring a hammer. Smash tp dispenser. Unroll TP at your leisure. Repeat until company decides to just leave the fucking cover off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest umop_apisdn Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Man, I was helping with research at a National Wildlife Refuge one time with some friends, and I had to take a massive dump after eating a bunch of peanut butter the day before. Not only was there only one toilet at the whole NWR, but it was stainless steel, no actual seat, and it was like 3 ft tall. So first off, no squatting. No big deal, except for the fact that there is no flippable seat. So essentially you're sitting on everyone else's piss and pubes. There was no way around it, because at the height of the toilet, there was no way you could squat and hover over the seat. On top of all that, the shit took forever because it was heavily laden with peanut butter, but when it came time to wipe, I realized some genius decided that the toilet paper dispenser should have a mechanism that prevented the roll from actually making a revolution. Best you could get was a half-roll then tear the sheet, unless you wanted to take the time to manually unwind the toilet paper from the roll. Worst shitting experience ever. I honestly don't know why I didn't just decide to shit in the woods. Maybe it was shortly after I had the bad experience with the sharp stick I squatted over trying to take an outdoor shit. Anyway, what would it take to get a FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU smiley added to the list? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barricade Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Anyway, what would it take to get a FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU smiley added to the list? Seriously. This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gump Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 what ever happened to the top deck?????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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