Guest Coalbucket PI Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 I once volunteered in a clinical trial for a GI tract anti-inflammatory for people with IBS. The trial took place in a hospital where I had to stay for 3 weeks. Once day I saw blood when I was wiping my arse and so I got all nervous and spoke to a doctor and had a stool sample analysed, and it turned out it was just because the toilet paper in the hospital was simply too abrasive for my hoity toity upper class snob anus. I went on to developed and implement a wiping protocol which would avoid this problem. I sometimes wonder whether I should have written it up and left it in the toilets there for posterity. It struck me as a very watmm story so I share it with you today. edit: by the way I don't have IBS, I was just trying the drug out for them cause I'm nice / was paid handsomely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lullezucht Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Lion. Certain of it. If you really are some n00b making his "splash" (her her) with an IBS thread, you need a medicine called Welchol (Colesevelam). When you get all pansy, you're guts squish out bile rapidly in response to the psychogenic stimulus (stress). Welchol comes to the rescue by sequestering all of those bile salts and preventing you from shitting yourself. It's still patent so you may have to pony up for the prescription but what's it gonna be? Brown town or Coolsville? hey xxx big fan of your posts dude! just a friendly reminder, when are you going to post some of that redneck IDM? Kind regards, lul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fishtank Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 I have this and I have these yougurt drinks called DanActive that actually works on settling my stomach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 I thought I had IBS about five years ago. got put on this medication called Zelnorm that made me fill up a toilet with green goose shit every couple of hours. tried some different things. couldnt really get it under control, i was constantly uncomfortable. my girlfriend at the time and I went down to mexico for a vacation. i drank beer all week long and nothing else, and felt pretty decent for the first time in a long time. on our flight back home, i had a coffee on the airplane, and immediately started being uncomfortable and shitty again. then i realized that it was the caffeine. so i quit caffeine and havent looked back-- it's literally one of the greatest life changes i've ever made. i'm calm as fuck all the time. it cured the majority of my anxiety problems as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sneaksta303 Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 caffine has been fucking me up royally recently. Two minutes after my 1st sip of coffee and I'm blasting ass with the best of em. Also, this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflYjF90t7c Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest margaret thatcher Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 i'm regular as clockwork. you can set your watch to my bowels. suggestion - weetabix in the morning, drink tea instead of coffee, eat your greens, stop throwing those cakes down your gullet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plstik Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 i'm regular as clockwork. you can set your watch to my bowels. suggestion - weetabix in the morning, drink tea instead of coffee, eat your greens, stop throwing those cakes down your gullet. cereals/muesli in the morning and just see what´ll happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 OATMEAL helps maybe i don't know i'm not a doctor I can't not read this in an H Jon Benjamin/Archer voice. if that's a good thing: and if it's a bad thing: :emotawesomepm9: It's a good thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bossman Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 being nervous around new people manifests in me having to pee a lot, esp after drinking coffee,tea, or alcohol to try and feel less nervous.. thankfully my butt holds its own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCONES TO DIE FOR Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Cheers! it's gonna take a lot of Kentucky Bourbon and Nord Lead to get that redneck IDM out but trust and believe I'm working on it. I thought you were just gonna record the weird sounds your truck's been making. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glass Plate Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 I've been getting into muesli, but 25 minutes after a bowl of muesli and I take a huge shit. Every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretstik Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Before I had surgery to remove my colon I had ulcerative colitis, and shat myself in public no end of times. Usually seemed to happen in the pictures, I properly coated my kecks with watery shit during '9 Songs' which totally ruined my plans for a post-film wank. I also shat myself in the middle of 'Domino', and having passed my comment sat in it until the end of the film. It was an awkward drive home in my mate's car afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ezkerraldean Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 i know someone who does sometimes i get massive runny shits with minimal warning but that's normally because i've eaten nothing but shitloads of pasta with spicy sauce and chocolate digestives all day Before I had surgery to remove my colon I had ulcerative colitis, and shat myself in public no end of times. Usually seemed to happen in the pictures, I properly coated my kecks with watery shit during '9 Songs' which totally ruined my plans for a post-film wank. I also shat myself in the middle of 'Domino', and having passed my comment sat in it until the end of the film. It was an awkward drive home in my mate's car afterwards. colitis eh? you got rid of it now or is it in remission or what? said person i know with IBS has it as a symptom of colitis. she's on some fucking retarded concoction of about 20 drugs to suppress it (and her entire immune system) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretstik Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 colitis eh? you got rid of it now or is it in remission or what? Well rid of it now, had my colon and rectum removed a few years ago. Main drawback is not being able to guff now unless I'm lying down. Farting kind of needs a gravity assist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dementia Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Can someone post that Photoshop of some athlete vomiting into Tubgirl's ass? I can't find it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dementia Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 Can someone post that Photoshop of some athlete vomiting into Tubgirl's ass? I can't find it. Seriously, I know one of you made this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fishtank Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 What it called when you poop so much it goes up out of the water? I did that yesterday, it was epic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 What it called when you poop so much it goes up out of the water? topping out? very satisfying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theSun Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 The Genius on his way to the bathroom: omfg is this real Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gettinpumped Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 My partner suffers from ulcerative colitis... it's serious business and makes IBS look like an after-dinner burp. Bad news. I admire their strength in coping with it because I certainly couldn't. But my vast coffee consumption doesn't exactly do wonders for my bowel. I start the day with a cappuccino, followed by a double espresso before I leave the house. Then I have another double when I get to the office and it's all downhill from there. By the afternoon I'm painting the disabled toilet brown... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SR4 Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 I once volunteered in a clinical trial for a GI tract anti-inflammatory for people with IBS. The trial took place in a hospital where I had to stay for 3 weeks. Once day I saw blood when I was wiping my arse and so I got all nervous and spoke to a doctor and had a stool sample analysed, and it turned out it was just because the toilet paper in the hospital was simply too abrasive for my hoity toity upper class snob anus. I went on to developed and implement a wiping protocol which would avoid this problem. I sometimes wonder whether I should have written it up and left it in the toilets there for posterity. It struck me as a very watmm story so I share it with you today. edit: by the way I don't have IBS, I was just trying the drug out for them cause I'm nice / was paid handsomely oh man i had a similar thing....i thought i had cancer or summat, went to the hospital twice to get it checked, turns out i just overwipe and coffee/alcohol irritates the hell out of your stomach. the worst part was coming into work the next day knowing that everyone knew about me going into the hospital for anal bleeding. that was rough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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