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The Obama Advice Thread

J3FF3R00

By J3FF3R00
in General Banter

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J3FF3R00 Grand Master

J3FF3R00

Posted
Posted

Hi Barrack,

 

If in your late-night search for BOC updates you found yourself in General Banter reading upon this thread, please be sure to stay a while and take in some pointers from an international assembly of experts.

 

Firstly, I would like to say that you are doing some good things here and there but might need to step it up a notch. I'm sure most of us here can agree upon that.

For starters, I would reccomend shooting from the hip a bit more. You can't make everyone happy, so don't try to. When you find yourself in a tight spot, just take a deep breath and ask yourself "What would Martin Luther King do in this situation?". If that doesn't work, then try asking yourself "What would Ceephax or Ed DMX do in this situation?". If you still find yourself in a quagmire, then ask yourself "What would Fred McGriff do if he were me right now?".

 

Next

 

...

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Guest mafted

Guest mafted

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'The problem with America is that everybody has their fair say." - Clinton

 

He's right.

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Guest mafted

Guest mafted

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Would 'shooting from the hip' = starting undeclared wars on third world countries without substantial proof? Just checkin'.

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Guest Adjective

Guest Adjective

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Try it in the tub next time. Believe me. Now, the tub is just one part. We're going to have to get you on the right sexual and emotional trajectory.

First, watch this scene from Immortal Beloved.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJGESRc3XfY

 

Second, watch this suitable for the workplace videoclip.

 

burger_bottom.gif

 

 

Now repeat until you're where you need to be mentally, because this is where you jack off. Enjoy a little wine while you get your bubblebath ready and make sure you leave the door wide open, you'll come stupid hard. Lay down in the tub. Stare at the ceiling. Look right through it, head-first into Salma Hayek's butt. Do your usual, get the pressure built, and get ready to come. As soon as you're around 90%, slip your head underwater, but start wild and deafly beating it above the water while arching your back. Look, I've got someone on hold here -look, just trust me. Stupid hard, Babar.

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