Intelligence, Social skills, Cynicism, Self importance

[Npoess]

Always follow your dreams, and believe in yourself

 

- Coco Chanel

[Friendly Foil]

What Npoess said.

 

Also don't you EVER forget, that a stranger is a friend you have never met. Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. Step by step and the thing is done. If you can dream it, you can do it. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement - nothing can be done without hope and confidence. Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act now, without delay. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

 

4real though, oso's post was really good. BIG UP

[Npoess]

This was their finest hour

 

- Miley Cyrus

[xox]

''watmm!''

 

- Arthur Schopenhauer

[hoggy]

Thanks everyone, really interesting - would like to hear more people's experiences. Will go through post by post in a bit, there's a few suggestions that I find a bit problematic

[Guest boo]

One issue i have is that i'm very rarely impressed by others achievements and don't care about impressing anyone (IRL). the thing is, if you don't big yourself up a bit, people will assume you're useless.. and you'll wonder why.

 

An example of not being impressed was this guy who said he'd worked on BBC wildlife documentaries in Africa. Everyone was impressed, whereas I was thinking "so what? you're a boring tech guy who carried wires around on a safari park so BBC could edit together random clips of expensively filmed animals to fit a fake made up animal story that twats will enjoy paid for by tv license payers that have unknowingly been paying in to the pedo ring that is the BBC". whereas, ive basically done and achieved nothing,make minimal effort socially,so i should pretend to be impressed in that situation.. if i wanted to impress people by being a nice person.

[AJW]

"so what? you're a boring tech guy who carried wires around on a safari park so BBC could edit together random clips of expensively filmed animals to fit a fake made up animal story that twats will enjoy paid for by tv license payers that have unknowingly been paying in to the pedo ring that is the BBC".

 

lol perfect

[poblequadrat]

"social skills" is more or less synonymous with bourdieu's conception of capital. people circulate and in a given part of a given society certain traits make you circulate better, like a commodity that's easier to sell.

if you really want to know what "being intelligent" might be you'd have to ask the question apart from the notion of "social skills" which are completely contingent despite structural homologies between all societies (of a given type).

 

other than that my experience is i'm fucking frustrated and sad and you have to take things at a psychoanalytical level rather than a sociological one because if you don't things simply seem random. in a sense that's good because in the end circulation doesn't determine everything. bewbiufbuifdsbjfdsbjbjsdbfdsbkdfsbk dsbldsnlfndlsnfldsnlksdnlkdsnkl let's go for a drink or something

 

i'll watch some anime and retreat into nerddomfgddfg

 

i'm becoming a no caps poster

 

piece of shit basically

[poblequadrat]

 

What I was wondering is, how much do you see yourself as being apart from other people, do you think you're better than others, and why? Do you find it difficult to get along with people and do you often think that they just don't understand things in the way that you do?

 

I often feel unable to understand people, maybe the trouble is that I try to - it's a bit intrusive maybe? I was always led to believe I am intelligent but maybe I'm not as smart as I thought, how about you? Are you intelligent, and how do you know? Is it a good thing?

 

A friend of mine often seems to mention 'social skills', what are they, and do you have good social skills? The notion of social skills is quite ineffable I find - maybe it means something like being able to set the tone or something? Putting people at ease? In some situations I cope quite well, but when it's something like a night out, I sometimes find myself being weird and then instantly regretting it, can you relate?

 

Maybe social skills means knowing when to share your thoughts and when not to? Or does it just mean having empathy?

 

And lastly, do you think you're better than other people? I think deep down I sort of do, and aspire to be admired by people - but it's something like an old habit or an unconscious thing, I know it's a total bummer to be around people who think they're something special. I never intended to think I'm better than other people, and I hate it about myself when I realise I'm doing it. Maybe I'm just spoiled. How about you? Have you experienced this too?

 

Ok so I count 15 questions there, I hope that's not too many

 

 

This might be a mistake.. am bracing myself for derision

 

i just wrote a 2k words respond to you and accidentally pressed something (i really don't know what happened) on my keyboard and closed my browser before posting it! fakn shit fak fak me!

 

in short:

 

- your a good guy afaik, not intrusive at all afaik, but be careful in real life with intimate questions (if that's what you meant)

- i always knew how to behave with people, instinctively... but sometimes i can move well thought out moves too. sometimes it can take as much as a week of thinking before i'm sure that's the right thing to do about some trivial things. i just can't stop thinking until i'm done with it, mentally. maybe that's the chess player in me which does that. but i can be reckless, reckless to ones i love too. the reckless part of me is the one i hate the most! i'm trying to eradicate it more and more by each day.

- i had several iq testings in my life with results: iq >154 standard deviations of 24, iq 160 s.d. 16, iq >149 s.d. 15 and yes it's great to be intelligent but it's just a potential. i chose to be a procrastination freak instead. be smarter if you can! i hope one day i'll be too. also, creativity is far more important above an iq score of 130.

so, am i intelligent? tests said yes but i sometimes feel so stupid and i say and do such stupid things every day that i'm ashamed for.

- i measure ppl and i'm finding my friends only based on their morality and i can say that i always felt very lonely and it's the story of my life. yes, it's great to know someone that's on your level of intelligence but if he/she is not moral enough i'd said/thought: sorry...i do think i'm better than you in some proprieties that are very important to me and you're just below the threshold what makes you in my eyes not human enough so, continue with your life without me. i'd rather be alone. am i being an arrogant prick by seeing myself as better? not an easy question to answer but i see ppl all equal in all things except in morality. what can protect us from arrogance is acknowledging our own weakness and mistakes. in that way we can stay in equilibrium.

btw, lots of great ppl here. moral and intelligent and creative! <3 watmm

- read about empathy, everyone should. empathy is the only thing that can save this world.

 

 

this post is pretty good.

i've also taken lots of iq tests and am supposedly the brightest kid in the world but i became a major procrastinator

i'm jdfgdhidfbjfhdjdfnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

 

i'm a bit demoralised really

[goDel]

The sad thing about these iq tests is the implied " you're better than those with less iq". Even though it can be liberating on some levels, it can also grow a social distance (which was probably already there because you're 'different'). As if you can't relate to other people because their iq is too low. Or vice versa, other people can't relate to you because your iq is so much higher than theirs. I've seen it happening to lots of people, including myself (member of mensa since 17).

 

The worst outcome, imo, is some sort of rationalized social isolation. Others seeing you as too different/difficult, so they will wont and eventually even refuse to relate to you if they feel they just can't, and/or you won't acknowledge/appreciate their attempts. And you seeing yourself too different from the rest, such that you stop relating to those around you, etc. Often it's a vice versa thing. And it really doesn't matter where it all started.

 

I do believe however that the high iq makes you more responsible than those with lower. The higher iq could say that you might be intellectually more versatile than others, so you're probably quicker to cross the social distance bridge than someone who might be less versatile. Well, other people either can't or just aren't aware of it. I used to think that higher iq is similar to being more aware, btw. And although there might be some truth to it, it ended up as just another rationalization for social distance. Any explanation which could rationalize some form of social distance is no excuse to not connect/relate to others.

 

In the end everyone is different. Some are more different. Most are less different. And if you're lucky to be different in some positive way, you should be thankful for that. Especially when it doesn't keep you from overcoming the distance from those who are more similar. Most people are used to crossing small bridges, when relating to others. And they are not used to crossing bigger bridges, whenever they do come across someone more different than they are used to. The other way around means you're either used to crossing big bridges most of the time, or you simply gave up. If you gave up, it's your loss, imo.

 

Also, I envy those with an iq of around 130. It feels like a sweet spot where it's more easy to cross those social bridges and still be smarter than most. Above 140 it starts to get difficult for others to relate to you, so you better be sure to spend those extra iqs on relating to others. Or be incredibly successful in something. Such that others can relate to your achievements/success, even if they don't really relate to you.

 

Why the f did i type all this? Well, basically because i feel sorry for those with too many iqs. Because it can kinda suck.

 

It still does from time to time, btw. My thing is that i often don't even realize how big those bridges can be. I blame my poor personal point of reference, btw. It's still not good enough in that it can align with the average reference of the population. (Although i think that the median would be a better representation, but this is nerdy statistician stuff) ;D

 

...and the positive thing is that i can get away with it by looking stupid. It really helps to look stupid..

[Npoess]

Putting a number on intelligence is literally one of the most silly things ever invented.

 

Thinking you're better/cleverer because you scored a high IQ score, makes you a moron my book... sry

[pcock]

you invented the idea of IQ?

[azatoth]

I've always found these IQ tests dubious. They are usually biased in some way. If someone says they scored so and so on some IQ test, they drop a few points in my book. I don't think I ever even done an IQ test of any sort, but I think I would suck at it.

[Guest unteleportedman]

Putting a number on intelligence is literally one of the most silly things I've invented.

 

Thinking you're better/cleverer because you scored a high IQ score, makes you a moron my book... sry

 

 

you invented the idea of IQ?

 

[azatoth]

Would an omnipotent character such as Q really hang around humans? I doubt it.

[Guest unteleportedman]

Would an omnipotent character such as Q really hang around humans? I doubt it.

 

Yeah, I mean why would he need to teach lessons to the humans and learn things from them? Also, just noticed that the actor that portrayed Q (John De Lancie) actually wrote that Star Trek tng book.

[hoggy]

...i think from being an infant on through childhood probably every kid has at least a minor god complex. probably most people think they are smarter than the average person...

 

...i think asking about yourself and who you might be is a good thing. but also sometimes i think you shouldn't 2nd guess yourself so much. it's hard to know when and where to do which...

 

I think that first part is very true - and the people I like hanging out with tend to be more about others than themselves - even though that might not mean that they are 'nice' - I have a friend who spends a lot of energy entertaining others, but I think it brings him a lot of pleasure and he tends to get his own way because of it (it's not just about being nice).

 

Or I have colleagues who think of others first and they just make everything better - I think that people sometimes are made happier when someone makes them happy from outside - someone who is not you can lift you up better than you can lift up yourself I think - and maybe that's something I'd like to be able to do for others (maybe that's a bit pretentious?)

 

...I just wish I knew more people on the same wavelength as me, which I think is exactly the right word.

 

I know what you mean - I like that word. And what you were saying about finding the value in everyone is something I try to do - but sometimes I meet people who I just find impossible to relate to - and even then I try to find ways but it's just always strained with certain people.

 

I think seeing things in terms of wavelengths might solve a lot of the confusion, because then you don't have to quantify what particular qualities they have to have - it's more about how you relate to each other. Actually I kinda don't like when people like the same music as me (something you mentioned) - I get annoyed if they like them wrong (yeah, I know...)

 

Yep, everyone pretty much feels that way. Part of the burden of having self-awareness, I'm afraid...

 

...Social skills are merely the toolbox of responses and actions that allow us to be around others. Trying to explain it or think on it anymore is a waste of time man, just talk to people, judge whether or not you're offending people, apologise if you have, and don't worry any more if you haven't...

 

This seems like good advice - it reminds me of something someone told me - that regret is just part of life. Like, whatever you do, you're gonna wonder if you went the right direction, that's just life.

 

At this point my primary concern is separating the nice folks from the cunts. But I think in many cases there are external factors that make people ornery to begin with, such as occupation, environment, and treatment by others. Same principle applies to wildlife and domestic animals.

 

I never trust my own judgement enough to distinguish the cunts from the ornery, and I also wonder how cuntish or ornery I am myself (I try not to be)

 

I dont understnd, and feel threatened by most people, i also tend tto think i am better than about mayb 75% off them.

 

Can you speculate what it might be that makes you think in that way? (don't if you don't want to though, maybe it's not for me to ask)

 

Most people suffer like this to a degree up until retirement, ego concerns.

 

But it does get easier, there comes a point in life when you realise people give 95% less of a fuck about you than you thought; then you can finally get shit done.

 

Calling it 'ego concerns' is an interesting way to think of it - being too worried about how good I am and what people think of me

 

I think there's a vast array of different "intelligences."

 

Maybe my thinking about 'my intelligence' is a mistake - maybe one's intelligence is in a way not one's own or something that in itself does not have value, except in how it is used

 

When I've been at my most confident and happy and therefore more at peace with myself I have far more time and concern for all those around me, and more patience/humour with those who I dislike. When I've been at my lowest ebbs, I've been at my most judgemental and cynical towards others.

 

But which is the cause and which is the effect? Maybe they both are

 

(will get to the others later...)

[azatoth]

What would an omnipotent, omniscient being even do? Create a mind game where it's an individual with limited knowledge and power? Would one even become bored, or is it just something limited beings do. Imagining an omnipotent being is a futile endeavor anyways.

[MadameChaos]

I wanna be a dog

 

this

[poblequadrat]

Putting a number on intelligence is literally one of the most silly things I've invented.

 

Thinking you're better/cleverer because you scored a high IQ score, makes you a moron my book... sry

 

that's not what people with high iqs think, nor what iq means, nor the fucking point of iq tests. personally i had to took iq tests because my teachers at school didn't know what to make of me. i never got the idea that i was "better" out of it, rather that people found me troublesome. for the record i got expelled from every single school i went to except for the last one, and have dropped out from university twice, and i can't find a job.

 

besides, iq tests are balanced (and periodically readjusted) respective to the median iq of the population of a given age range, with 100 as the average. everything is biased yes, but they're pretty reliable.

[Npoess]

I've = ever

 

[Npoess]

 

Putting a number on intelligence is literally one of the most silly things I've invented.

 

Thinking you're better/cleverer because you scored a high IQ score, makes you a moron my book... sry

 

that's not what people with high iqs think, nor what iq means, nor the fucking point of iq tests. personally i had to took iq tests because my teachers at school didn't know what to make of me. i never got the idea that i was "better" out of it, rather that people found me troublesome. for the record i got expelled from every single school i went to except for the last one, and have dropped out from university twice, and i can't find a job.

 

besides, iq tests are balanced (and periodically readjusted) respective to the median iq of the population of a given age range, with 100 as the average. everything is biased yes, but they're pretty reliable.

 

 

But a lot of people use it to say: see how much smarter I am than you.

 

So weird that people with high scores don't think it's silly. I bet those people will also remind you their score whenever their intelligence is questioned. Really practical when you're not able to speak for yourself or use your so-called intelligence in practice... that's the only use I've noticed for IQ tests.

 

Personally I've never taken a IQ test, nor do I ever wan't to. Kind of critical about how everything has to measured by numbers and scores in our modern society, but that's a different discussion. I just find it so annoying that somebody has decided this test measures intelligence, when we know fuck all about the human brain to begin with.

 

And there are many of sorts of intelligences, social-intelligence, linguistic-intelligence etc. etc. Does the IQ tests take those things into consideration?

 

Even though I don't really have any evidence to say that are IQ tests are majorly flawed, beause I actually don't know much about IQ tests, so maybe I should just shut my mouth, but I just find it hard believe that kind score shows the full picture.

 

I know I'm generalizing a bit here, of course it's not the way everybody who have taken these tests, and has gotten a high scores, acts. But it seems to be the case more often than not.

[poblequadrat]

 

 

Putting a number on intelligence is literally one of the most silly things I've invented.

 

Thinking you're better/cleverer because you scored a high IQ score, makes you a moron my book... sry

 

that's not what people with high iqs think, nor what iq means, nor the fucking point of iq tests. personally i had to took iq tests because my teachers at school didn't know what to make of me. i never got the idea that i was "better" out of it, rather that people found me troublesome. for the record i got expelled from every single school i went to except for the last one, and have dropped out from university twice, and i can't find a job.

 

besides, iq tests are balanced (and periodically readjusted) respective to the median iq of the population of a given age range, with 100 as the average. everything is biased yes, but they're pretty reliable.

 

 

But a lot of people use it to say: see how much smarter I am than you.

 

So weird that people with high scores don't think it's silly. I bet those people will also remind you their score whenever their intelligence is questioned. Really practical when you're not able to speak for yourself or use your intelligence... that's the only use I've noticed for IQ tests.

 

which people?

i haven't met such people anywhere. as i have told you i took iq tests because everyone thought i was a problem they had to take care of. that's usually the only reason why kids are made to take iq tests in the first place: they give you an add test first, and if they don't get away with pumping you full of ritalin then they make you take an iq test. and mostly that's what i've got out of it and my experience with having an iq over 140: being a problem and failing at most things. i think you're talking shit basically.

 

of course there are different intelligences. iq scores are a composite of various things but it's true they don't give you the whole picture. there are other important things, but when you talk about "other important things" what you mean is that having a high iq means "having it all" to someone and i think there are few people like that.

[poblequadrat]

"as i have told you"

see, i have a high iq but my english is shit, i was going for a different tone, "as i said" would be more appropriate i guess

 

anyway my point is that the only people who take iq tests at all are people who want to become soldiers and 5-year-olds with problems. that's the purpose iq tests serve.

[Npoess]

You sound like I've accused you of something.

 

And which people... do you want me to make a complete list or something?

 

There was this one guy in my class, to use an example, who on a regular basis would remind people of his IQ score, it was kind of pathetic tbh. But it's more the idea of these tests that rubs me in the wrong the way, and the reason I might sound a bit annoyed.

 

And I'm not attacking people with high IQ scores, just the ones who brag about it or use it as some sort of indicator to their personal value as human beings.