Guest hahathhat Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I went to take my morning dump. It felt like my usual business of two or three gooey logs, and I had no reason to doubt this, as yesterday I ate reasonably and drank no booze. I sat down and gave the push required for this... but I was in for a surprise. It turns out, what felt like my normal product was really the world's best-disguised poo cork. My mighty bowels, expecting to push something ten times the size, shot it out and high velocity. Before it'd even had time to register -- I was still pushing -- it was immediately followed by a tsunami of brown wheaties water. It hit hard and hit everywhere; the sides of the bowl acting like some sort of parabolic poo reflector, hosing my noble cheeks. I had just taken a shower fifteen minutes before. I need you in this difficult time, WATMM. Hold me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gary C Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 LOL. I always drop a shit-ticket into the bowl before I get going to eliminate Poseidon's Revenge/Neptune's Kiss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Computer Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 LOL. Should of been in to a cup. I would of watched that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hahathhat Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 LOL. Should of been in to a cup. I would of watched that! i would have shattered it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awepittance Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 the level of coprophila on watmm is astounding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokoon Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 yeah, but in a healthy way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capsaicin Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 You could lay down a protective layer of toilet tissue on the surface of the toilet water to absorb the blunt of the impact force, thereby reducing the amount of unnecessary liquid on your buttcheeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Idrn Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 LOL. I always drop a shit-ticket into the bowl before I get going to eliminate Poseidon's Revenge/Neptune's Kiss. You could lay down a protective layer of toilet tissue on the surface of the toilet water to absorb the blunt of the impact force, thereby reducing the amount of unnecessary liquid on your buttcheeks. what these guys said. schoolboy error. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bad Influence Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 coprophila mmmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 LOL. I always drop a shit-ticket into the bowl before I get going to eliminate Poseidon's Revenge/Neptune's Kiss. You could lay down a protective layer of toilet tissue on the surface of the toilet water to absorb the blunt of the impact force, thereby reducing the amount of unnecessary liquid on your buttcheeks. what these guys said. schoolboy error. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hahathhat Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 You could lay down a protective layer of toilet tissue on the surface of the toilet water to absorb the blunt of the impact force, thereby reducing the amount of unnecessary liquid on your buttcheeks. that would never have saved my ass from itself, not at that velocity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dirty Protest Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 A friend of mine didnt make the toilet and hosed an arc of brown water over his bathroom wall. Funny, but so easy to empathise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr lopez Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 morning dump? jeez, i poop like once every three days. and i drink coffee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokoon Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 i poop like once every three hours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bad Influence Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I wonder if Joyrex will ever add a tagline for this site. "WATMM come here to talk about shit" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I poop everytime my mouth opens, but thats because my liver is fucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goonstock Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 put a couple of sheets in the shitter prior to the act to buffer the pressure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cichlisuite Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 .... to eliminate Poseidon's Revenge/Neptune's Kiss hahahahhahahahha you made me lol there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hayhook Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 always shit before shower, hence if splashback etc, you just wash it off, and continue with your day like nothing happened. Otherwise your stuck either needing another shower, or feeling like you should have taken another shower, the rest of the day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 It's Shit, Shower, and Shave in that order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GORDO Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 thats why you poop before showring Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 i've had splashback come up between my legs and get me in the nose before. shit tickets are my business now. it's like shitting onto a little fluffy mattress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Synthacat 9 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Be thankful that this occurred in the safety of your own household Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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