Guest cuntainer Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 so i've been hitting up the sweet sweet vapor for the last couple of months. last time i got stoned was the 19th, then the 15th, then the 12th and and every day before that for about 5 weeks. today is the 21st and i just told some chick who's getting me a job i could pass a drug test which will most likely be on the 26th. if you have any helpful advice on how i could pass this test, please help a brother out, i need this job since i haven't worked for 4 months on account of breaking my hand and losing my previous job. i'm open to any suggestions and i'm willing to pay money for something that will help. i'm beggind you, i've got these cheeseburgers, i'll suck yo dick... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Z_B_Z Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 dude just google the old drug test remedies which may or may not work.. if youre really that concerned just dont smoke etcetcetc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntainer Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 well yeah obviously i'm not planning on using weed until at least after the drug test. thinking i might scab some piss of my room mate and some how take it with me and keep it at the right temperature. was just wondering if anyone knows something that will work well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Z_B_Z Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 sounds like that would be your best bet. ive always heard the other methods are a bit iffy (ie those cleansing drinks).. im against drug testing (*ahem* weed testing) so i wish you the best of luck whichever method you choose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntainer Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 sounds like that would be your best bet. ive always heard the other methods are a bit iffy (ie those cleansing drinks).. im against drug testing (*ahem* weed testing) so i wish you the best of luck whichever method you choose totally agree with you, they call it drug testing, i wonder if anyone in the world has ever tested positive for anything other then weed, probably yeah they have, but you hopefully catch my drift. invasion of privacy and shit, god i had so many things about western culture, life is a joke. i appreciate you taking the time to respond to my thread. many thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Drink some one elses piss for 5 days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sneaksta303 Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 hahaha one time, i knew I was going to be piss tested in the next 15-20 min, so i was freakin out. I knew I was going to be watched too, but that my penis would not be examined, SO, I took a plastic bag, and filled a corner up with a little warm water. THEN, I saw that I had some iced tea in the fridge. I added a tiny bit for color. Then, i tied off the bag and put it in the microwave for a FEW SECONDS. Then, I used the tied off part of the baggy to tie it to my boxers, so that there was a loop of baggy from the waistband to the penis hole, and then the corner of the bag with the "piss" in it was right in front of my peehole. I used tips of my nails to pull the corner off at the appropriate time, and voilà. I had time to practice once before the test, which helped, and when the tester put the tester in, it showed negative, obviously. What helped make this go smoother, was right before I went to pee, I said "Well, I don't really have to go, but I'll give it a shot.", that way, there's an explanation for having such little liquid. Also, I'm tellin ya, that the few drops of iced tea made the color perfect. Obviously don't do that, I just thought I'd share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntainer Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Drink some one elses piss for 5 days? i was thinking of ordering a carton of lyoto machida urine, but then he lost to shogun... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest maantecaaa!!! Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Synthetic urine. Get that delivered via overnight mail. Keep it at body temperature(really easy to maintain when the bag is taped to your thigh)and do your duty. It's fairly easy to make the delivery system: iv bag + hose + quick release hose clamp. You can glue a stick on aquarium thermometer on to the bag to make sure the temperature is still within range. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntainer Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 The level of "unknowns" is what's gonna drive you up the wall.... Pre-employment piss tests range from the "take this cup, do not run the sink or flush the toilet, fill the cup to the appropriate level--DO NOT FLUSH THE TOILET--open the door, give me the cup. Then you may flush and wash your hands" As you do this, they slap a decal on the cup to immediately test for appropriate temperature. They then insert a dipstick with up to 7 little colored bits on them. In one dip, they can immediately assess via color change for the presence of cannibinoids (your problem), cocainoids, amphetamines, opiods, ethanol, and other prescription drugs they won't tell you about :angry: :angry: :angry: FUCK YOU PRE-EMPLOYMENT!! Or, you may walk into a probation and parole style situation where you are watched as you dick slang that piss out and no dildo-strapped-to-the-thigh-full-of-friend's piss is gonna fly. In America, it's mostly the former. Personal experience--had a brother-in-law who was basically a walking pot leaf--dealt it and smoked it on the regular. He cleaned out a small lotion bottle really well and I pissed in it for him. The bottle was small enough to keep in his armpit, he got in the private bathroom, filled the cup, waited an appropriate period of time, spilled a little out to mimic a real slash, re-pitted the empty and handed it over, passed flying colors. No THC and somewhere between 97-100 F. You can do that Goldseal type cures but I dunno, we know this: THC is a lipid soluble compound and everyone metabolizes and retains lipid soluble things in their own special way--it's why one could live on ten burritos a day and remain 170 lbs. while I would explode past 500 lbs. in the same period of time, like Bruce Hornsby warned, that's just the way it is, some things will never change. All of those "oral remedies" are crapshoots. Really, I don't encourage this but extremely rigorous aerobic exercise is probably your best bet because after 20 minutes, your liver sequesters the fat droplet in your fat cells to bust into triglycerides, hormones remove the glycerol molecule and you burn the fatty acids via ketosis. This is when the THC would truly and definitively be excreted but you can see how even that is a crapshoot in itself and sudden hard exercise could make you fucking keel over in a heart attack if you're not ready... Good luck hahahahaha! many thanks for this response! i've had maybe half a dozen piss tests in my time, and they were all the non-probabtion type (here in australia), so that makes me think i'll be able to use a friends piss at the right temp. i used to train heavily in kickboxing and jujitsu, but a couple of months ago i got injured, again... and so i haven't done really any exercise for the last 2 months, but i can easily go work out crazy for the next 4 days or so, plus i cleanse my system on a daily basis with the amount of green tea, water and other tea i drink every day. i also have b vitamins which colours the piss very well, so i could easily drink litres of water before the test and have a couple of b vitamin tablets which will give me the colour. i eat a fuck ton of food and hardly put on weight so i'm pretty sure i have at least a half decent metabolism. if i was going to try to use my own piss and try and cleanse and all that, should i change my diet? no fatty foods? live off rice and tea for the next 4 days? i'm also not averse to eating the spiciest food known to man. but my room mate has already said i can use his piss, so for that all i need is a good delivery system and some how get it at the right temp, but it's always good having multiple options. thanks for everyone's help, you guys are amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 do so much drugs that you break the testing device. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the anonymous forumite Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Cannabinoids remain in your blood for 3 days. Otherwise get some cod liver oil and drink lots of milk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Helper ET Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 tubes and shit...xxx and maantacca got it right. it is risky though my suggestion is to possibly reconsider your future plans, as to not have to take the test. it wont be the end of the world if this employer doesnt hire you...plenty of fish, nothing to have a heart attack about imagine if you passed the test and the employer decided not to hire you anyway. this is a situation out of your control, and isnt worth having a mental breakdown over. if youve got drugs in you, man up, figure a way to stop smoking, and try employment again in a month or two or tubes and shit also bcm knows whats up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLA FUR BIS FLE Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 do so much drugs that you break the testing device. worked for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fishtank Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 My friend was joining the military and he drank Powerade for a week and passed, Powerade was recommended by the drill sergeant for the high concentrations of niacin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntainer Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 tubes and shit...xxx and maantacca got it right. it is risky though my suggestion is to possibly reconsider your future plans, as to not have to take the test. it wont be the end of the world if this employer doesnt hire you...plenty of fish, nothing to have a heart attack about imagine if you passed the test and the employer decided not to hire you anyway. this is a situation out of your control, and isnt worth having a mental breakdown over. if youve got drugs in you, man up, figure a way to stop smoking, and try employment again in a month or two or tubes and shit also bcm knows whats up thing is, if i dont get a job with these guys, i wont be fucked trying anywhere else and go broke and have to sell ass. i'm not having a mental break down over it, just trying to get some good information so i can weigh all my options. and there's not plenty of fish in the small pond i fish in. this place will give me a job cause they are one of those job finding places that give you factory work in some shit hole factory that you need no skills for, i have a job waiting for me once i pass the drug test. not only that, but i'm fit and young and i gave them pieces of paper saying i was top of my year for the hardest maths subject and shit, not to mention that chick wanted my dick, how could they not hire me? (lack of motivation/enthusiasm, low self-esteem, ADHD, depression, sleep problems, weed user, etc...) and fuck giving up weed, i'd rather die. prohibition can go choke on it's own shit and die slowly, while i laugh at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mafted Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Q-Carbo at GNC, that's what it's for. your system will be masked for up to 12 hours, just follow the directions. they're about 50-60$ a piece, but worth it if you're on a time constraint. just walk in and say q-carb, they'll understand. the stuff is guaranteed to work or they'll refund it. but, if you have a moderately fast metabolism, weed should be out of your system within a couple weeks. double it if not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaarg Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Get sick for a week or two to postpone the test. I'm not sure how long it takes for the body to get rid of thc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J3FF3R00 Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Awesome story sneaks!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scrambled Ears Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 i was reading up on this for my job before i found out they didnt drug test new employees. since youre on kind of a short term i would say go with this plan: drink lots of powerade (bump for the niacin) from now until then. the day you take the test drink lots of water and take a vitamin (i believe its b13) look this up that turns your pee yellow. make sure youve peed at least once before test. the highest concentration comes from the first pee and also the beginning and end of the stream so when you do the test make sure you pee a little before you dip the cup under then remove before youre finishing. if you have a relatively fast metabolism you should be fine. whoever said cannabis takes 3 days to get out of your blood is crazy...i had a friend who hadnt smoked for a month and she still failed her test. not to worry you...she was also a walking pot leaf and it seems that youre more of a casual smoker so with the right precautions you should be fine p.s. fuck drug testing...if cocaine stayed in your system for 30 days fortune 500 companies would lose half their employees edit: also you should learn to spell drug...this should help make you not look like a druggie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chassis Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Offer the tester a 50 bag to pass you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntainer Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 i was reading up on this for my job before i found out they didnt drug test new employees. since youre on kind of a short term i would say go with this plan: drink lots of powerade (bump for the niacin) from now until then. the day you take the test drink lots of water and take a vitamin (i believe its b13) look this up that turns your pee yellow. make sure youve peed at least once before test. the highest concentration comes from the first pee and also the beginning and end of the stream so when you do the test make sure you pee a little before you dip the cup under then remove before youre finishing. if you have a relatively fast metabolism you should be fine. whoever said cannabis takes 3 days to get out of your blood is crazy...i had a friend who hadnt smoked for a month and she still failed her test. not to worry you...she was also a walking pot leaf and it seems that youre more of a casual smoker so with the right precautions you should be fine p.s. fuck drug testing...if cocaine stayed in your system for 30 days fortune 500 companies would lose half their employees edit: also you should learn to spell drug...this should help make you not look like a druggie haha dude i didn't even notice i spelled it wrong, and i fucking hate doing that shit, now i'm hell pissed off (at myself), that's fucking gay. apologies to everyone who cringed reading "drud", i cringe. and fuck who/what ever fortune 500 is, cunts... i'm in the process of detoxing at the moment (cutting out fat and sugar, not that i eat much anyway, upping my intake of fruit and vegies, bulk rice, whey protein isolate, l-glutamine, what ever the fuck mushasi fat metaboliser tablets are, i'm not really into sports drinks, i guess i could buy some powder, but i drink copious amounts of green tea normally, fruit juice, starting a decent exercise routine, today didn't go so well, but day 1 of exercise is always shit.) i got some multi b vitamins so no doubt it contains the one you're thinking of, it's got them all. but even though i'm doing all that i'm still gonna use my room mates piss, and see if that works. thanks for the advice hombre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hautlle Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 I just had my brother pee in a condom that I tied off and tucked next to my sack in some tighty-whitey underwears. Keep a safety-pin in your pocket. Once in the confines of the restroom I pricked a hole in the condom, squirt it into the cup and the rest into the toilet. Pass drug test. Profit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntainer Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 I just had my brother pee in a condom that I tied off and tucked next to my sack in some tighty-whitey underwears. Keep a safety-pin in your pocket. Once in the confines of the restroom I pricked a hole in the condom, squirt it into the cup and the rest into the toilet. Pass drug test. Profit. dude, fucking genius! so simple yet so fucking good. many many thanks, i'm definitely doing this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sysyphus Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 make sure that if you use someone else's pee that you get a heat pack to keep it super warm. you instantly fail if it is not within 90F-100F. alternatively, pick up a Quick Fix 4.0 from your local smoke shop for about $25 that comes with heat packs, a small bottle with built-in thermometer, and synthetic goodness. i've passed twice using this method - with no sweat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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