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Knob Twiddlers
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dingformung last won the day on September 28

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  1. I have been drinking a lot of Kratom lately and I think it’s feeling really good. All my muscles relax and I feel very calm and pleased and sleep like a baby, almost nodding away even when I don’t plan to do that. It relieves all minor little pains or headaches but makes me feel a bit nauseous when I drink too much, which also comes from the unpleasant bitter taste and it inhibits my appetite and makes it hard to focus because I tend to get into some kind of pleasant trance like state when concentrating on anything. It’s like I focus on something without really paying attention, the mind just drifts off and I have no control over it. Also, it’s hard to cum when having sex because it seems to numb the sexual pleasure the same way it numbs pain, which definitely is a downside. It’s not that there is no feeling at all, it just seems to put a ceiling to any physical sensation or emotion, taking the edge off of everything. Loud noises and bad music are no longer irritating and I generally can’t be annoyed as easily. But it makes sex significantly worse because of that cloudy feeling. What do you think about Kratom? Did it help you get off of opioids? I personally wouldn’t recommend it because of how it affects my appetite and sex drive but it would be a really good thing if it wasn’t for these downsides. So I won’t be touching it that much anymore…
  2. There is too much rain and it’s completely pointless and I’m alone. I’m so tired I just want to say thank you and I’m looking forward to touching you again soon
  3. I’m probably contradicting myself here but I’m extremely confused honestly and I’m better off looking for something else to do tonight. Hello
  4. The Russian war against the Ukraine is probably a CIA operation and so is the attack on the Nord Stream pipeline. The idea may be to destroy the economic bonds between Russia and Europe and seeding division in the region to increase American influence in Europe and maintain supremacy, weakening the EU, secure American economic influence and shift dependencies. It all serves the interests of a finance elite and war industry. Russian oligarchs and power elite don’t actually care about ideological reasoning and their domestic propaganda, their personal lives aren’t affected by such a war or the suffering of their population, so the economic sanctions on Russia European countries are now doing won’t have any effect other than attacking the wealth of European and Russian citizens, which again will not necessarily influence any decision made about the continuation of the war. It’s all orchestrated by a global elite of industry and mainly American controlled secret services that have their own interests and influence on the media coverage, not a conflict between nations or peoples. The fact that we pay so much attention to this particular war and ignore other wars and topics is a result of that. In the end it is impossible to know the real reasons for anything happening in the world without some historical distance but usually, when it comes down to it, the diagnosis is concentration of non-democratically legitimated power pursuing capitalistic interests. Any ideological differences are just a tool. I suspect that the Russian and the Western elites have planned the conflict in accordance with each other, ignoring the interests of their own nations and people, and maybe even governments. It’s usually really a war between classes, everything else that we are led to believe it is is the result of years of propaganda and indoctrination by an elite that controls every aspect of our information culture. That doesn’t necessarily mean that we are or aren’t directly lied to, it just means that the real incentives, reasons and agendas are completely hidden and impossible to see through for any of us.
  5. which one is better or worse? on one hand eating meat is like cannibalism because we are all brothers and sisters, no matter what species or gender or whatever. on the other hand it doesn't matter because nature doesn't know man made morals that are flawed from the beginning on because man is flawed. so which is better?? today I ate some chicken coated in corn flakes and it was good but I think it's all a dream anyway so it doesn't matter. the world of epiphanies isn't to be confused with the real world, which is pure spirit, pure consciousness, pure oneness, possibly. so nothing we do here is really what it seems to be, including the consumption of others (presumably). but still, as a thought experiment, why is it okay to cannibalise animals (or not ok)? we all should take this question more serious than my way of asking this question in this topic makes it appear. it is a serious and important issue which is the correct answer to the question?
  6. dingformung


    existence is organic and fleshy more than a human can know die
  7. The other day I was chasing rabbits with my bike but I would stop when the rabbit got exhausted and not get closer, so it was kind of a game and I was trying to keep the rabbit from the street so it won't get run over by a car. But the next day I went to the same area and I saw a rabbit completely smashed to a flat red-grey mass of bones and flesh at the bus station, probably run over by a bus. So I'm wondering if the rabbit got run over as a result of me thinking about rabbits getting knocked down by cars or if it was just a random and completely unrelated occurrence (which I doubt). A lot of the stuff I think seems to get manifested in this reality, in one form or the other. It's not that I can just wish for something and it happens, but all my thoughts seem to resonate into manifested reality in some weird way. So I'm wondering if what I was seeing was real or if it was something shown to me by a counterpart of existence that isn't me, as a response to my earlier thoughts.
  8. note to Self this thing wrote a lot of these thoughts through text suggestions as a means to sabotage ME again. There are no words to describe my lack of satisfaction with the realization of this situation
  9. This place makes me sick and makes me revolve into old patterns and I simply can't do any good decision while I'm here. I need to move to a different place. Germany is boring and expensive, probably even more so than the US (except the US is more expensive). I'd be a good US citizen if I was rich but I'm not. I should move abroad, probably to South America because I only speak German and English and they have German breweries but even though I drink a lot of beer I don't like it because it tastes like piss. Asian beer is okay, Asians seem to have a better taste in everything compared to Western cultures so I should probably move there but I'm an unskilled motherfucker. I don't even particularly like my family, they are all assholes, including myself. It's all fake. Everything. This text is a parody of what I'm truly feeling. It's a joke. I don't want to be here anymore. I have to do something with my life, my time is running out...I'm 27 years old and this is the best I could come up with? This is not even funny anymore, it's sad. It's pathetic. I've wasted so much time and energy on being an asshole. I only make wrong decisions. I spend my money on silly things like expensive but low quality food. All I want is a lot of sex with beautiful people but I'm not attractive enough to get it and not rich enough to pay for it. And after all, it always leaves me with a feeling of lack and inadequacy when I'm lucky enough to get it. I only get successful when I start a new and exciting project and I'm not good at doing things. I'm not a good person, I don't have any friends. Nobody would even care if I died. That's how it is. I don't want to be here anymore. The only kind of love I seem to be able to get is God's love, but it sucks. It's the most unsatisfying and stupid kind of love imaginable. It doesn't even help me to develop a better life. I'm too angry and selfish to appreciate it anyway, but it's not my fault, nor can I change it. God isn't even a real God, he/she/it is some 5-dimensional being probably gaining satisfaction out of controlling my life and playing with my desires, fuck this demon/whatever he/she/it is. I'm being a bit too harsh, but I'm not a good person. I don't want to be a good person. I shouldn't have to care about what other people think about me. But if I don't care about what other people think about me then why should I care that nobody cares about me? I'm trapped in my own mind, all this meditation stuff about viewing the mind as an object without identifying with it is just a cruel joke and boring as fuck. I'm going to die out in the lonely wilderness soon and nobody will ever find my corpse or even notice that I'm gone. It's like, what the fuck am I doing with my life? Do you know how sad it makes me when someone says "Oh, you're so funny!" If you think so, why don't we go for a walk on the beach together? Why do people make such stupid statements all the time?? People are stupid, they say things that don't help anyone at all and they ignore reality. There probably aren't even real humans except of myself anyway, they are all illusionary epiphanies or manifestations orchestrated by this being that won't reveal his/her/its real identity to me no matter what I do. Death seems to be the only escape but I don't want to die. Everything is fake and the only thing that matters is money, even though it doesn't have to be like that. And sex of course. I don't want to be here anymore. Existence could be completely paradisaic but greater forces prevent it from being so, for no reason at all. If existence emerged from non-existence, why didn't it choose to be perfect? I'm going to go for a walk in the forest. I wish I had never been born!
  10. fuk off none of u achieved any of this these aren't human achievements, these are bubbles about to burst lie to me all u want, i can see right thru it (without knowing anything) u all are masks
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