Candiru

Twinklehoes Maria Patina Eunuchorn

New Bermuda is pretty solid but the new one just doesn’t compute. They need more Mgła in their diet.

Yeah... lately I've spotted a preggers lady smoking a cigarette while on a morning stroll. Kinda freaked me out, tbh.

James Gunn directed Super... who knew he could be so inappropriate? Jesusfucklol

I kinda think that electronic music seemed more interesting when not literally every human had the means to learn to make passable IDM in like a week. BoC was the first casualty in this scenario. I still like a lot of stuff but gawdayum

I pretend to be blue collar, but solve highly advanced equations when the mood strikes me. When I reveal my true intellect, people call me to set up meetings and fawn over me and ask me to work in clandestine government think tanks. I turn down the offers because I need to be challenged. I've never even used a calculator. I've never failed to distinguish Coke from Pepsi and I can roll burritos in origami shapes that illustrate how to solve the crisis in the middle east. I've taken apart my car on the side of the highway fast enough to lose the cops during a chase, and then put it back together in time to escape. I once had to emergency land a commercial passenger jet on a sandbar in French Polynesia while a mother gave birth to twins onboard. They were both named after me and I'm paying their college tuition with everything I made selling meth in a Hell's Angels bar in Missouri while evading FBI surveillance. I once debated a Branch Davidian type cult and made them all atheists, while simultaneously convincing them that Santa Clause exists and is actually Samoan. Math is boring.

Remember when Elon Musk was hanging out with Grimes? There's a conspiracy here somewhere.

Fake Witch Burger

bob dob i have to disagree with you. what you're espousing is a thought contagion that results in poor turnout. we end up with politicians that don't represent positions the majority of americans support. I concur x 100000000000000

Every sauce is sacred, and you may not cast it on the ground before you.

Kelela - Take Me Apart is definitely the greatest PBRn' B album of all time.

Swiss Beets Mike Won’t Make It Metro Cumin

Talk to your desperate friend about how much you like cumming in gf to make her seem less appetizing like if he finally gets it in he will get your cum on him. She is always covered in your cum so if he touches her at all, he a gay

Okay so that pour over coffee with light roasts actually just tastes like green beans I realized. It’s hot, brown green bean water.

That hearing yesterday where all the GOP representatives tried to scapegoat Strzok was one of the most infuriating/entertaining things I’ve seen in quite some time. But for some reason I never realized how desperate they really are until I watched it. You could smell their fear and petty insults which were trying to mask it. Their strategy of giving a long misleading statement without framing it as a question, and then only letting Strzok respond “briefly” if at all was a stupid game i would have like to see called out more. The truth is going to fuck their shit up, I reckon.

Peter Strzok was an absolute boss today. He handled himself extremely well and the GOP looked like stupid petulant children. Someone buy that dude a beer.

I think he asked them for 4% of their GDP rather than 2% because it's an unreasonable request, which he will try to use as an excuse for pulling the US out of NATO when they point out how stupid it is. But congress came out overwhelmingly in support of NATO so I don't think he can just do that willy nilly. Even they know not to start WW3. It's a similar tactic the House Intelligence Committee is using on Rod Rosenstein. Ask him for a ridiculous amount of documents, many of which they don't have the clearance to see, and if he takes "too long" or stands up for himself, use that as an excuse to fire him. But Jim Jordan was the biggest asshole about it and then he got caught up in the college wrestler molestation negligence scandal of Doom, so fuck that dude.

I read from people who have heard Head Cage in full that this song does not represent the sound of the entire album and it makes sense when you look at some of the track lengths. It might work, ya know? I really do like this band, especially Prowler and Terrifyer, but they've pretty much always slayed it. I saw them open for Napalm Death, too. 'twas nice.

I work with a guy who was in the Army and was stationed in Germany during the 80's. He voted for Trump... I wonder how oblivious he is to the fact that Trump wants to fuck up NATO for Putin and undo everything he did over there.

Slicker than a baby walrus covered in spinach and artichoke hummus that appeared in your bathtub for no reason when you got home from work and you have no idea what to do about it.

He really doesn’t though.

Yeah, it pains me to say that this new Pig Destroyer track is probably meant to appeal to fans of like, Lamb of God more than fans of like, Assück, Rotten Sound, or Insect Warfare. Y tho... :(

Selling coke builds character.

Quite good actually

What was it like? I've never been to those distant parts of murica