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opiate addiction


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I had a heroin addicted acquaintance, which convinced me to never, ever try it. I believe that if he never touched drugs, he would have been a chill, likable, intelligent person. There was no trace of that person when heroin and oxy contin were added to the equation. Ugly, ugly stuff. A real waste of money and life.

 

At least cocaine makes you excel at partying and getting shit done.

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i've been sober for about 2 1/2 years from opium, and then ultram/ultracet addiction. i was making tea from poppies, and then was prescribed ultram as a "non-addictive" pain med after back surgery and pneumonia. i went to inpatient treatment twice, and thankfully i've managed to keep myself clean since then.

 

i'm not a fan of AA, though i do go fairly frequently, while my wife is at al-anon. i'm very thankful for the detox and treatment center--i tried kicking on my own, and i'm convinced it cannot be done (at least not by me).

 

i shudder when i think back about my life during that time, and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

if you're hooked i hope you can find help any way you can.

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would you mind describing what it felt like? the withdrawal, i mean.

 

 

btw, congrats on sobriety! its no easy task!

 

the physical effects for me were basically severe flu-like. fever, chills, headaches, etc. but also insomnia, and some strange muscle soreness and twitching. i also had insane dreams, which of course i can't recall now, but it was like end of the world stuff. nuts. and trying to kick it while knowing i could just take one more pill, or make tea just one more time...and it never ends. it's madness.

 

the hardest part was the depression and just total mental anguish. everything seemed hopeless and i would cry for no reason. to make it worse, i'm married and was hiding it from my wife (though she obviously knew something was going on), so we would get in fights and i dealt with a lot of guilt issues. my daughter was a toddler at the time and i'm sure i was a poor father, which i still carry with me. thankfully i've repaired both relationships.

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yeah that sounds harsh.

 

 

i've had a fling with morphine when i was younger. i slept great, a lot of my insecurities were suddenly gone and i was a much more easy-going person, while still doing good in school.

 

i rapidly came to the conclusion that (near) daily use is not sustainable and i tapered off. the flu-part was okay, i could handle that, but the RELENTLESS feeling of, indeed, of guilt (that all-permeating sense that something went wrong is or about to go horribly wrong and it's ALL YOUR FAULT) well, that had me bent way out of shape and, of course, sleepless again.

 

 

why do you ask?

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damn, congrats on kicking that shit pattern recognition..

 

reminds me of this story (good morning coffee read): http://www.tucsonweekly.com/tucson/confessions-of-an-ebay-opium-addict/Content?oid=1079900

 

I just smoke a bit of hash now and then, totally in the clear.. never even touched any addictive stuff, nor really interested in..

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Obviously for those who haven't started one, don't. It's horrible.

 

As for me Grandpa died, Hydrocodone abuse, Roxicodone abuse, Heroin.

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Also withdrawal is terrible. Sweats, you are cold but hot at the same time and you just want it to end. You can't stop yawning and your eyes tear constantly. The shits, major burlap shits. Pain in your bones, feels like someone has an icepick in your knee digging around. You can't sleep. Nothing make you happy, except for the opiate. Your whole life becomes consumed.

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Guest MastaN8

I've been shooting dope for ages. Started with oxys about 10 years ago, moved on up to Black because it's cheaper-I've tried kicking a few times but I always slip back in. It's a romance of sorts and find it difficult to do anything including happiness without a certain level of chemicals in your bloodstream. Withdrawals off dope are fucking painful. Worst flu symptoms ever. Body aches like I can't describe. It's a bad habit I know this and I do realize that at some point I'll have to get back on suboxones and make some effort.

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I've been shooting dope for ages. Started with oxys about 10 years ago, moved on up to Black because it's cheaper-I've tried kicking a few times but I always slip back in. It's a romance of sorts and find it difficult to do anything including happiness without a certain level of chemicals in your bloodstream. Withdrawals off dope are fucking painful. Worst flu symptoms ever. Body aches like I can't describe. It's a bad habit I know this and I do realize that at some point I'll have to get back on suboxones and make some effort.

 

good luck to you, is Seattle still a defacto 'heroin capital' of the US? My sister said last time she was there seeing junkies nodding out in the streets is common

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Guest MastaN8

Yeah. We have a large homeless community as well. Once you're a junkie you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get away from it. Funny though dope seems stronger up north and in Portland. People see us as a dope capital so some dealers think they could sell you anything. Just have to be streetwise. Crack I'd think is a bigger problem here cause it's right in everyones face. I honestly thought there'd be a lot more people who are down especially with the big uk crowd here.... Then again they could just be staring at a computer screen all day.

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thankfully i've repaired both relationships.

 

I loved reading this line. You're a good man.

 

I mean, not that I know if you really are or not, but I wanted to compliment you.

thanks, i am a good man. :emotawesomepm9:

you know, i've managed to get myself back to where i was before i got hooked (job, $$$, music-related gear, etc.), but the thing i'm amazed the most about is those relationships. i'm not really sure the rest would have followed without re-establishing them. it's astounding what those who love us will put up with.

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