dingformung

I love/hate my music, it gives me headaches but sounds kinda interesting on headphones. These tracks are from earlier this year (and I have spent way too much time on making them, so many hours of my life just gone into "nothingness"), haven't made any new ones lately. I kinda get tired of using a mouse and waiting for progress bars to finish. I made some low-fi "fake trad" tracks that are played on instruments and objects that can be misused as instruments (such as rubber bands) and planning on editing them into some "fake world music" tracks on the computer in cubase, but haven't got round to it, even though I have plenty of time right now. I guess it's because I find the idea of "fake trad" a bit embarrassing, like a white guy using a fake tan. LOL. but maybe if I pitch them down and add some cool effects to make it sound more "metallic" or "organic" or whatever it may be what I need. But then I would sound like a bunch of other folks, and I don't want to do that. I just woke up and had a lot of energy, so I made a track in about half an hour. It's pretty bad. I'm not sure what else to say about it. Anyway, I will keep making weird tracks and maybe in a year or so I will feel like it's a good idea to make another album from them, or maybe later today I will delete them all. Then I can find some new music to listen to, and maybe make some more of my own. It's good to try and do what you enjoy, even though it doesn't always pay off. Because that is the only thing that matters in the end. Here is a cat picture. can someone like my post please?

https://drreic.bandcamp.com/album/trcde

ladyBIRD

I listened to voice recordings of myself and I sound both bored and boring. I bore myself. I don't want to bore others. I will leave them alone. I'll let them be. That's the best I can do. I can't help but feel that if I don't have something to say, then I have nothing to offer others. Yet I know that isn't true. Not saying anything is also an offering. It is a gift to be quiet and still and listening. I am trying to get to a place where I am not so afraid of being boring. Of saying nothing aloud or in writing. Of having nothing useful or interesting to say about anything. Where I'm okay with silence, and relishing it instead of feeling like silence = emptiness = stagnation = death. I try to remind me that there is value in silence, in listening instead of speaking. Of feeling instead of thinking and saying, "I think." And it's a way to remind myself that perhaps one day I can let go of this fear of being boring and dull and useless. I know that my main form of expression has been words and writing, but maybe with more practice in silence, I won't feel so inadequate when it comes time to speak up again.

i could fly. it was a tingling feeling, a rush. i saw a bear in a river, across which was a large bridge, and on one side of which was a very tall and narrow skyscraper. in the river a bear attacked a man and slowly ate his leg, an angry brutal bear with a horrifying face, the man flew with me into the skyscraper through a window, the space was tiny. i flew over lands and fields and stations, i saw ruins and houses. the sky was strangely brownish. i discovered the secret of memory (or so i thought) and wrote it on a tablet, but it was destroyed and the secret was lost. i fought with someone and was hypnotised with words and writing while fighting, but was able to break the spell and escape. i was flying all the time and on roofs on hills in dry landscapes, on old stone buildings, i saw writing on the walls. later i was able to melt the field of the "another"/"gegenüber" as such, the "anotherness"/"gegenüberlichkeit" (hard to translate), by becoming one with it (almost). again and again i almost completely merged with "all that is faced by me", with the "other", with what i saw and felt as something second in front of me. it was gigantic in size and the process of almost-melting was somewhat frightening, as my whole life would have been lost like a drop in a huge ocean. it was like two opposite substances (me and the other, bigger one), however i got cut off from it again and woke up, knowing full well that eventually this huge "body" will become one again, as it is not the first time i have had a similar experience. it is as if i am one (in the sense of a tiny component) with (or belonging to) this whole, but am temporarily a separate part swimming in front of its outer wall, exploring the outer edges and becoming part of the body again when needed. like a big fish that is accompanied by small fish that can "merge" with the big fish at any time and form its permeable "skin". like a formless mass that swims through nothingness and carries with it segregated bubbles of itself as escort/accompaniment and at the same time shell.

It'd be pretty

My pomegranate juice is too sweet and now I don't want any pizza any longer.

ฉันเป็นมนุษย์ ฉันคือปีศาจ ฉันคือพระเจ้า. ฉันเป็นเทคโนโลยี ฉันเป็นละอองดาว ฉันเป็นสภาพอากาศ ฉันเป็นพายุ ฉันเป็นพายุ ฉันเป็นคนดูดขอบคุณ ฉันอยู่ที่นั่นเสมอ

Electro Pylon (Must Stream) saved

Why are screens used if you can use 3D realm for projections? WTF? What's the point of that? Are they an analogy to make you find the way out of the simulation, or are they another layer of confusion, to keep you inside? A cruel joke or a benign guidance? Don't trust him

As this is all a simulation it shouldn't matter but it's a poorly designed simulation, so these things have consequences (who came up with this shit? Give me a name!)

I was at the lake and it was beautiful. I asked a topless hippi type girl for rolling tobacco and she was stroking my hand when she gave it to me so I guess I should have talked to her and try to do the SEX etc etc but I wasn't ready bcs I just arrived and when I came back to look for her she was gone... lol, I'm aware that I don't need to type this stuff bcs it is a known fact already. Everything I do is already a known fact (which is another problem).

good recommendations in this book needless to say. thank u

i never seen this bug. this is my only pronlem rn bugs probably deserve their own thred

Yeah I'm very small minded myself. I guess it's this place that made me that or maybe it's something else, who knows. Trying to become less small minded but it's not that easy

There is no truly quiet spot in and around this city. There are cars everywhere, day and night. There is never a longer period of quietude. It would be halfway tolerable if it was just the cars, but it's these stupid motor bikes that are the icing on the cake. What again was the point of reving your motorcycle engine? Some people seem to be able to drive them in a reasonable way, but there are always kiddies who don't know how to drive them properly and rev the engine. I hope they get injured in an accident where they fall off the bike and then slide over the road and then their skin gets burned away, which may be followed by a slow and painful death (I like that idea). ^I didn't post that one when I wrote it, seemed unnecessarily cruel. FWP: I always think I'm shy, so I sometimes talk to people and turns out I'm not that shy, actually (I just keep assuming it because I don't hang out with people much, but that has other reasons). Not sure what to do with that info... confirm it further? I just want sex, but it seems impolite to ask. So I talk about other stuff but I don't care for other stuff as much. I guess I could do that dating stuff again and hope that it eventually leads to more sex, but I don't want to. It's boring. I guess I will go to the park and talk to random women that walk their dogs and ask them for... sex? But it's too hot and sunny outside. Stupid summer. Gonna bike to the lake instead maybe and swim or something. Luckily I don't need to work right now.

I agree

for example i was just daydreaming of a wall bracket to put snacks to eat on and then someone honked and yelled "asshole" and it was disturbing.as fuck. luckily i now remember the idea again. maybe i shouldnt live here or kill myaelf tho. people are just way too loud and aggressive... they need to chill and relax more dunno where to go tho maybe netherlands??? can u go there by airplane? i watxhed a film called "cypher" nd there they put a gas in the airplane to make veryone sleep and its all an illusion lol hope that happens. gas chamber airplanes what an amazing idea hahaha lol, well. switzerland seems good too i like both languages they have that achhhh sound (g in dutch, k in switzerdytsch) i need more of that in my life... chchchchchchcjchhhhggggggkkkgkgkgkggkgkgkgkkfkfkgkgkgkgkgkkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkkgkgkgkgk cars are OK, sometimes they look really cute or attraxtive and sometimes they have nice numberplates that u can read

do u have any cars in ur life? how do u deal with them?? they honk their horns whenever i have a good idea and then i forget the idea

Yeah, send them to Chechnya, so they can toughen up and see that they actually don't have anything to do here. Then they can all retire early and live a happy life and leave me alone

I live in a way too safe and middle-class city. Police here doesn't have anything to do so they spend their time harassing harmless people, following them around, controlling them, even punching and physically abusing them when they don't do what they say. It destroys the street life. I think they receive too much government money. Maybe they should be sent to places where there is a shortage of police forces. Maybe some de-manning would be a good idea. I'm worried about the safety & future of this place. A lot of my friends and acquaintances have left. It's becoming a really boring pensioner paradise. It's a shame because I like this place but the police and government are ruining it. I feel like I'm living in a police state.

I miss a woman I met the other night. We seemed on the same wavelength and she could read my thoughts but I didn't ID her. I hope to find another one that looks exactly like her and has similar mannerisms. She was perfection. It was a short interaction but I missed an opportunity (for a longer interaction), and it was my own fault. But I learned exactly one thing from her (which I'm not going to share on the internet).

Your thoughts resonate deeply with mine. Sometimes it seems that I/you am/are the only "human" and vision is a canvas, a screen, that is used by non-human entities to communicate with you/me (in its (non)-human form), but the way you look at this canvas is your/my way of communicating back. It's both a back and forth and also a non-duality. Perceiving and receiving, taking in and giving out, is a circular movement that keeps happening infinitely without you/me realising that we are one and that it's happening right now in this exact time unit (time itself is happening inside of itself, perhaps, if that is possible, or expressable). Time (future/past) is one possible expression of non-time (present), but it never or rarely appears as such (though terms like "rarely" or "never" shift its meaning in a world where time is a (non)-temporary entity). What was I saying?

I'm not sure. Typing on a smart phone right now (sitting on a bench in the park watching people) so this post won't be so detailed. It might be because the past is a manifestation inside the present, and memories are actually more like thoughts that are connotated with an emotion of familiarity rather than an actual "image" of the past. Memorising happens in the now. When a memory of something pops up on the canvas of your consciousness, then it is something that manifests in the now. Discerning imagination and memory happens through that emotion of familiarity (memory appears "familiar/real", imagination appears "unreal/theoretical"), which in fact is another (emotional) manifestation of the present, a feeling. I could write more and there are probably more sides to it and that's just an idea, and I guess language isn't designed to express these things easily. I really don't know.

I believe that the human dream is a layer of the cosmic dream (the totality of existence, which has many layers). The cosmic dream is formless, it isn't a world with different places where you can move around and do things, it is one unique movement. What we call "I" and what we call consciousness is only a small part of this movement. When this part realises that it's part of the whole, the entire movement doesn't appear to be "suffering", because there are no parts who are separate from each other anymore. The more you awaken to this fact, the less you suffer and the closer you get to yourself. We all have different dreams we are living in but they are all contained within one universal dream that we call existence or life. It's possible to navigate between dreams during sleep (it happens frequently for everyone) but on waking up, when your perception gets stuck in language and social reality again, you forget about these navigations. The suffering lies within these navigations but not within existence itself. Existence is just there for us, it can be experienced through "being" (which is a thought also) but not through thinking or feeling or doing things."Humanity" as most people live their lives could be seen as an individualised version of collective hypnosis with some minor differences. We're all being hypnotised by our culture and language and we all have to wake up. That's why it's important to really be with the feelings, thoughts and actions happening in the present moment instead of following old patterns and seeking identity. There is no you that can be found through thought, there is no identity at all, only action within a dream."Reality" is a construct of thought and language, it's just another layer of the universal dream within which we are living out our lives. It's still possible to navigate this layer if you reject thought/language as your primary mode of perception. The more you explore this possibility (meditation, psychedelics), the closer you come to your true nature as a unique movement within existence that has been hypnotised by its own "thoughts". The more you use language as your primary mode of perception (thought/feeling) the more you become confined within words so that existence itself becomes one big prison for yourself. You are not this or that (this body/that body), your true nature is one unique movement but because we have been hypnotised by ourselves and each other ("I am not myself"), it has become impossible for us to see beyond our civil self. "For me, life was something that happened when I was not trying to live." - Richard D. James