Root5 Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 I have this problem every summer. I can feel my ass-crack getting sweaty, and I'm constantly paranoid that it's leaving a visible/smellable stain on the back of my shorts. What can I do to stop my ass-crack from sweating so much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patternoverlap Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 ice pants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest uptown devil Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 yep, maxi pad. failing that suicide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Root5 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Share Posted May 5, 2010 If I stuck a pad in my buttcrack, wouldn't it make noises when I walk? Would it sound like I'm wearing a diaper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 suicide it is then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hautlle Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Be sure to wear underwear. This will prevent the sweat from showing on your shorts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Do what I do here in Texas when the weather becomes akin to walking through a sauna every time you go outside: For this you'll need some toilet paper, and some adhesive surgical tape. Take some toilet paper, fold it neatly into a one-sheet square pile (about 8-10 sheets should be enough), and then place in the centre of the small of your back (you know that bit that dips inward, about 5 inches above your buttcrack). Now, slowly slide the paper down into your asscrack until the paper folds in upon itself due to being slid between your butt cheeks, and when about 3/4" down towards your anus (or the curvature of your ass where it begins to curve underneath), take the surgical tape and adhere one end of the tape to your left butt cheek, and then, slightly stretching the tape, carry it over across your ass crack and secure it to your right cheek, making sure that the tape pulls your cheeks together, holding the paper in place. With this process now complete, any dewyness from your back that might run down into your asscrack or any sweat generated by your asscrack itself will be absorbed. Bonus Feature: When taking a shit, you can detach the tape, and push the paper down to your anus to do any final cleaning needed - the paper should ideally be moist from the sweat, making the paper almost like a natural wet wipe or sanitary napkin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 ^ pro tip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Root5 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Share Posted May 5, 2010 Either you have a less sweaty ass-crack than me, or your underwear is better at blocking the sweat. Edit, that was at hautlle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest uptown devil Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 suicide it is then. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Root5 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Share Posted May 5, 2010 Does the surgical tape method restrict your motion at all? Is it harder to walk/run with your ass-patties taped together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hautlle Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Either you have a less sweaty ass-crack than me, or your underwear is better at blocking the sweat. Edit, that was at hautlle Maybe both? It hasn't been super hot here yet. Only in the 80's for a few days, usually it's in the 70's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Root5 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Share Posted May 5, 2010 Either you have a less sweaty ass-crack than me, or your underwear is better at blocking the sweat. Edit, that was at hautlle Maybe both? It hasn't been super hot here yet. Only in the 80's for a few days, usually it's in the 70's. It's in the 70s where I live. My ass-crack is trying to make a preemptive strike against the heat. Nevermind, it just heat 80 here. Fahrenheit fail. (I'm from Canada) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hautlle Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Either you have a less sweaty ass-crack than me, or your underwear is better at blocking the sweat. Edit, that was at hautlle Maybe both? It hasn't been super hot here yet. Only in the 80's for a few days, usually it's in the 70's. It's in the 70s where I live. My ass-crack is trying to make a preemptive strike against the heat. Nevermind, it just heat 80 here. Fahrenheit fail. (I'm from Canada) It's like 24C here right now. Beautiful outside. In the summer (July/August) it can get over 45C, even up to 50 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Root5 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Share Posted May 5, 2010 Either you have a less sweaty ass-crack than me, or your underwear is better at blocking the sweat. Edit, that was at hautlle Maybe both? It hasn't been super hot here yet. Only in the 80's for a few days, usually it's in the 70's. It's in the 70s where I live. My ass-crack is trying to make a preemptive strike against the heat. Nevermind, it just heat 80 here. Fahrenheit fail. (I'm from Canada) It's like 24C here right now. Beautiful outside. In the summer (July/August) it can get over 45C, even up to 50 It goes up to like 30C or maybe a bit higher where I am, and my ass sweats like a faucet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hautlle Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Damn yo. I'm sorry I can't relate to your pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acidphakist Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 In all seriousness, baby powder or talcum powder. You may need to reapply during the day, but it will work wonders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaen Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 put your jorts in the freezer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 I use Summer Glau's Summer Glue. Work's a charm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest catacombus Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 When your asscrack is sweaty, wipe it with a tissue, then air your asscrack and asshole out. What the fuck is the problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
producer snafu Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 unzip your sweat pants a lil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4d0 Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Spray your ass with deodorant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr lopez Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 lose weight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
impakt Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 I know the drug for you: Egazil(Hyoscyamine) The actions of hyoscyamine result in a reduction in salivary, bronchial, gastric and sweat gland secretions, mydriasis, cycloplegia, change in heart rate, contraction of the bladder detrusor muscle and of the gastrointestinal smooth muscle, and decreased gastrointestinal motility. If I take like 3-6x 0.2mg of this a day, I don't sweat at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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