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Sophisticated "Dick Whiskers" Illustration's Motivated By Drunken Bravery

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By Guest Blanket Fort Collapse
in General Banter

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Guest Blanket Fort Collapse

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Lol so I'm at my buddies(whom was drinking a good amount of vodka) helping him with cubase problems and he at random starts drawing "dick wiskers" on his nutty girlfriend that lives with him. This wouldn't be nearly as lolz if it wasn't for the fact that she is fucking crazy and throws bitch fits for the most petty irrelevant reasons.

 

She constantly does fucking over the top shit to force her way back in his life. There's so many stories of the crazy shit she has done in desperation. The insanity in his facial expressions as he goes about the half an hour event drawing the "dick wiskers" and using her phone to email the pictures brushing a huge plant on her face and toes to get her to move into different angles was purty fuckin hilarious. It would just be a nostalgic reminder of how much stupid shit all my friends and I used to do when we were 19 but it was more of a demonstration of his need to try and asshole her out of his life.

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she has work in a few hours and she is going to fucking flip out

 

before I left he started to sober up and realized how bad she will bat shit psycho spaz on him, pure lolz

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J3FF3R00 Grand Master

J3FF3R00

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Yeah. One day she'll have kids with another guy and tell them stories about him like "Yeah, once I dated this total asshole who used to draw dicks on my face while I slept".

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Guest futuregirlfriend

Guest futuregirlfriend

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it still does. the dick whistlers go WHOO WHOOOOO! just for decoration, man. that's it and that's all.

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Guest Blanket Fort Collapse

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lol calm down dewds, without bringing out a few gallon hats of tails in ethical inequities she has orchestrated I will promise you she deserved the "dick whiskers"

 

... and yeh I said dick whistlers but that was referencing a different story altogether recollecting all the times your mom has jammed out on the Low C#

 

lol

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Guest Blanket Fort Collapse

Guest Blanket Fort Collapse

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... but if your thinking of going traditional Rambo and shanking with yer hunting knife we can pretend that never happened

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lol see that's one of the main reasons why she deserves this, hes tried to break up with her sooo many times after all the fucked up shit she has done to ruin any chance of a healthy relationship and she always finds near blackmail level reasons to make him have to let her in his world, its pretty twisted

 

I will probably find out pretty soon when he pops on steam how her unpredictable level of reaction played out (if she didn't wake up and swiftly proceed to subtract him with a kitchen knife)

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lol so she woke him up at 6 in the morning screaming bloody murder at him about needing to go work the farmers market selling blue cheese in an hour and her online high school graduation (lololol) get together later that day lol and hes all its just dry erase and tries to go back to sleep she walks off hella uber pissed

 

then 180 degree turn around later that day texts him "ohhh that was so cute OHHH HAY my moms needs norco's... what are you and jake doing with those pictures I found them in my outbox sweetay" lololol she fucking double scoop nutty and he uber failed on not deleting the outbox

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Ohhh hay BTW this is the girl referenced here

 

me and my buddy still lol about when we showed his girlfriend the onion mac wheel video and she was like omgz thats soo coool I gotta have that even after the part where hes showing how long it would take to type a sentence on it

 

 

there's fanbois and then there's "take them out back and shoot them to improve the gene pool".

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lol no he used her phone to text the pictures to email to document the conversion of his extreme annoyance with her into entertainment

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I guess he didn't use his phone because he thought it would be ironic to use her's and probably wanted to get caught using it to try and make her more pissed so she would stop stalking his life

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basically nothing he does ever pisses her off enough to make her move on

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GORDO Grand Master

GORDO

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This wouldn't be nearly as lolz if it wasn't for the fact that she is fucking crazy and throws bitch fits for the most petty irrelevant reasons.

 

She constantly does fucking over the top shit to force her way back in his life. There's so many stories of the crazy shit she has done in desperation.

 

who cares about dick whiskers?, elaborate on this.

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.. alright ...

 

she has stolen his cat multiple times in order to make him have to see her

 

fucked a bunch of doods after he's broken up with her multiple times to try and make him jealous

 

broken into his apartment multiple times breaking shit (hes called the cops on her a few times I think lol)

 

she was boning some other dood(or doods) as well and got pregnant, her main motivating factor for not getting an abortion seems apparent to be the weight to hang it over his head in simple blackmail lol (EDIT: they are not raising a kid together, she finally decided to give it to adoption family after much sense was talken into her by multiple individuals)

 

 

 

but he just called cause his line 6 usb interface is trippin out and I told him to register on here so he might explain more of his reasoning's and defend his ethics or lack there of to the nay sayers

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