Guest Al Hounos Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 chimera said a lot of good stuff. but i don't think he would've been able to say it without the perspective of experience. parties make you nervous? go to as many social functions as you can. can't do public speaking? take a public speaking course. only after you do these things do you realize that everyone else is as scared and alone as you. also, get to know yourself. for a long time i just assumed i was agnostic, which always left me in a weird, wishy-washy place because i hadn't really thought through the deep questions of existence. i credit carl sagan and richard dawkins for my ability to become comfortable with the atheism that's always been inside me. this contributed massively to my self-esteem. not saying you need to be an atheist, but you need to know who you are before you can relate to others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest viscosity Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 classroom settings. most uncomfortable setting, because there's really no escape and you rarely know the people around you. leads to stressful awkward situations for me. matter of fact, I hate just about any forced gathering of people... unless I know the people well or there's alcohol involved. i just feel as though people are judging me and I don't like putting my guard down plus I feel as though I can read into all the vices and deceit going on at a subliminal level, which just feeds my paranoia and general cynicism Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest viscosity Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 not to mention nervous tics. i can't help but have knee jerk reactions to the most perverted innuendos being mentioned at the time, people must think i'm some sicko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Just remember one thing, Beerwolf loves you. So that's one thing!!! Happy days! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marf Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 go the other way. dont act. be as real as you can be. its boring to me nodding and being real nice and saying what i think people want to hear. if you piss people off or they dont like you its a great way of weeding people out. Say what is on your mind at all times. dont be a sales man for yourself. be yourself. . any time i think in my mind what can i say to make this person think im nice or this or that i get rid of it. I say what really comes to mind. I find that people see a lot more depth in you this way. there is someone to really get to know.. I agree with the sentiment of just talking to everyone. get in the habit of chit chat. chew the fat with the fat check out lady at the dollar store. whoever. Of course the most difficult people for me to feel comfortable around are the cute girls i have a crush on. the ultimate test! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marf Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 . Looking at the history of humans, a person that doesn't want to kill you is pretty much a blessing. this so very true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest viscosity Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 stop trying to impress the cute gurls then? be myself? does that even work? i feel as though people would just find every one of my thoughts horrendous. maybe i just have tourettes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest iep Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 "Nuke this entire thread from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoodie Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 i think this thread is important to the watmm community and no one should be ashamed to post in it. discussing your experiences (self-reflection) and seeing you're not alone is a hugely important step in making positive changes in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest iep Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan C Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 a mixture of mdma and being dumped in a city where i knew no-one cured my social awkwardness to the point where im now reasonably extroverted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SR4 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fiznuthian Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 i think this thread is important to the watmm community and no one should be ashamed to post in it. discussing your experiences (self-reflection) and seeing you're not alone is a hugely important step in making positive changes in your life. This is wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YO303 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I can't socialize with stranger (unless is behind a computer duh), i just panic. My co-workers never heard me speak and been working there for like 2 months now. Adderal used to help a lot with that, made me more talkative and sociable but since i stopped using thats gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fiznuthian Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 What is it about yourself that makes you afraid to talk to people? Is there a history? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YO303 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Part of me feels i will bored the shit out of them (this fear is strong when i talk to girls). Part of me also fears judgment, i have very low self-esteem, i keep asking myself "what if they don't like me cause the way i look", sounds fucking illogical but its there every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fiznuthian Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Ah, yes. Sounds like the last 10+ years of my young adult life. Are you ashamed of your body image, or how your face looks? If a girl let you absolutely have it.. I mean, told you 100% brutally honest what she thought of you and how you looked.. What would hurt the most? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Eggylips Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 It's a difficult situation that many people come across, feeling like you're a part of things. Not just membranes of an internet message board, but people on the street as well. Everyone has to have empathy with eachother i guess. It's a thread not to post in if you're internet alkward maybe, but as I would tell any friend, embrace it. STOP SMOKING SO MUCH WEED eat good DON'T GET SO FUCKED ON THE WEEKENDS or do, and be social, interact, don't go after what you want all the time... talk to people like they are the same as you they might like the football scores ( but they probably have something really satisfying to say that you may tease out of them) do gigs/shows/join a society that meets in person, climb mountains, climb plastic walls, climb the fuck out of bed at 9am and get out the house. be creative, understanding, bold, don't give a fuck, do push ups, BE slightly HAPPY some of the time, there is no shit without the "shit that's good" etc........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YO303 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 My body is pretty fit actually, face looks a mess in my opinion.(People tell me I'm handsome but i just think they are lying). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoodie Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Part of me feels i will bored the shit out of them (this fear is strong when i talk to girls). Part of me also fears judgment, i have very low self-esteem, i keep asking myself "what if they don't like me cause the way i look", sounds fucking illogical but its there every time. do you exercise a lot? if you don't, you might want to consider it. it can alleviate mild symptoms of depression and it can surely help with self-esteem (never hurts to have a little muscle, ladies love that). edit: My body is pretty fit actually, face looks a mess in my opinion.(People tell me I'm handsome but i just think they are lying). ah. why do you think people are lying? think about it. do they have any logical reason to lie to you? if they really did think you're ugly, they could just not say anything. why would they go out of their way to say you're handsome? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YO303 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Part of me feels i will bored the shit out of them (this fear is strong when i talk to girls). Part of me also fears judgment, i have very low self-esteem, i keep asking myself "what if they don't like me cause the way i look", sounds fucking illogical but its there every time. do you exercise a lot? if you don't, you might want to consider it. it can alleviate mild symptoms of depression and it can surely help with self-esteem (never hurts to have a little muscle, ladies love that). I don't exercise at all (which is the root of all my problems doctors say, adhd,etc,etc), When the weather gets better I'm gonna start biking to work if that counts as exercise, the problem is i have no energy, no focus, no motivation and i get tired by just running up the stairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoodie Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Part of me feels i will bored the shit out of them (this fear is strong when i talk to girls). Part of me also fears judgment, i have very low self-esteem, i keep asking myself "what if they don't like me cause the way i look", sounds fucking illogical but its there every time. do you exercise a lot? if you don't, you might want to consider it. it can alleviate mild symptoms of depression and it can surely help with self-esteem (never hurts to have a little muscle, ladies love that). I don't exercise at all (which is the root of all my problems doctors say, adhd,etc,etc), When the weather gets better I'm gonna start biking to work if that counts as exercise, the problem is i have no energy, no focus, no motivation and i get tired by just running up the stairs. biking to work definitely counts as exercise. don't use the weather as an excuse though, as your plan will quickly fall apart (when people skip their routine for even one day, they have difficulty restarting it). perhaps find a local gym or some alternative form of exercise that isn't dependent on things outside of your control? the problem is, you can intend to do something for years. you can intend to lose weight, start exercising, quit smoking, etc. etc. you might even get a day or two of progress. however, without a good plan, these intentions generally amount to nothing. there's a really good book that i'm gonna recommend to anyone who wants to "change" but can't seem to get the momentum for it. it's called self-directed behavior. i'm using it as a textbook for a psychology class i'm taking. i'm normally wary of self-help books, because they're usually bullshit, but the method in this book is legitimate. it has empirical evidence backing it up and the methods follow established psychological principles, not feel-good crap that's made up to sell copies. there's an older edition on amazon that's like $4 used... totally worth it, imo (and if you're curious, i can summarize the method for you). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fiznuthian Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Part of me feels i will bored the shit out of them (this fear is strong when i talk to girls). Part of me also fears judgment, i have very low self-esteem, i keep asking myself "what if they don't like me cause the way i look", sounds fucking illogical but its there every time. do you exercise a lot? if you don't, you might want to consider it. it can alleviate mild symptoms of depression and it can surely help with self-esteem (never hurts to have a little muscle, ladies love that). I don't exercise at all (which is the root of all my problems doctors say, adhd,etc,etc), When the weather gets better I'm gonna start biking to work if that counts as exercise, the problem is i have no energy, no focus, no motivation and i get tired by just running up the stairs. I can't speak for anyone else yet but for me diet changed this entirely. No motivation, no energy, lethargic and tired all the time, never felt centered.. I felt this way before I realized good food nourishes not just the body but the mind.. People give me shit daily at this point.. Everyone loves to poke fun of me for being so "radical" eating meat, vegetables, and fruit. It kindof gets old, but at the same time it's a daily reminder of what I used to feel like and what I feel like now. Work and effort feels effortless 24/7. So I ignore my co-workers and family now and carry on regardless of their criticisms. I just can't stress enough that eating processed, refined, hyper-palatable foods in varying and sometimes excessive amounts easily turns most people into complete blobs. Lethargy is not a normal human condition IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fiznuthian Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 With that said I also want to add that changing lifestyle worked wonders for my self-esteem as well.. It feels good to know you are constantly working towards a goal, especially one that improves yourself daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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