Attention needed: rules of verbal politeness

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

So I'm starting this new job on Monday and it requires me to speak extremely good and polite english over the phone, which is not my mother tongue. I'm gonna have to deal with upper crust gentlemen and my employer warned me about them being picky on words.

 

My question is : what are the rules and vocabulary I should know to speak very polite english ?

I know that I ought to use "shall" and "may", but what else ? What are the typical politeness phrases to use on the phone ? "please hold the line " ? etc....

 

HELP !!!

[BCM]

surely your employer should provide appropriate training on how to handle your calls?

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

Well, they actually need someone who speaks perfect english because they are having problems doing it themselves. Since I own a proficiency certificate (which I didn't deserve), they went like "we need you so much".

[BCM]

oh right, well just remember to say please and thank you a lot and you'll be ok. there's no such thing as polite English really, just English. as long as you don't say innit and mate, you won't have any problems...

[Guest Rambo]

I dont think this is something you will just learn with a few tips over the internet. You'll need a bit of practise. Remember the first time you masturbated? It took 45 minutes before you finally emit a small quantity of blood. Why would you want to ejaculate blood over highly proficient English speakers?

[J3FF3R00]

Go to the local bookstore and buy a used grammar textbook or manual.

If you want to get real hardcore, go for this...

http://www.amazon.com/Chicago-Manual-Style-University-Press/dp/0226104036

[blackdust]

When referring to yourself or others use the term "one" "I must say one finds that most delightful!" or "Would one like to partake in said service?"

[luke viia]

I dont think this is something you will just learn with a few tips over the internet. You'll need a bit of practise. Remember the first time you masturbated? It took 45 minutes before you finally emit a small quantity of blood. Why would you want to ejaculate blood over highly proficient English speakers?

 

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

When referring to yourself or others use the term "one" "I must say one finds that most delightful!" or "Would one like to partake in said service?"

 

That's the kind of advice I'm looking for. Thanks a lot. Have more ?

 

Also, what's the importance of the understatement in english ? Is it required ?

 

How about the use of "Sir" ? should it be constantly used ?

[Guest Rambo]

yes, constantly

 

especially to the women

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

Rambo.

 

What's the equivalent of "Sir" for women ?

[Guest Rambo]

babe

[Squee]

Be on your best behaviour and everything will work out just fine. There are a few morons out there who wants to addressed as "sir" and so on but they can go cram a golden spoon up their asses.

 

babe

 

That or 'fox' or 'dirty little cum dumpster'

[Guest Rambo]

lol, just a joke of mine that we all enjoyed.

 

Madam i think

 

Be on your best behaviour and everything will work out just fine. There are a few morons out there who wants to addressed as "sir" and so on but they can go cram a golden spoon up their asses.

 

Definitely agree. If you arent a native English speaker, i can promise you that clarity and being understood is far, far more important than anything else.

[sup]

its very important being polite when your talking to those in english ive seen. also try your best to understanding the grammer (somtimes its confusing)

[doorjamb]

just talk like this guy:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpQVIlWPmac

[Dragon]

Be sure you know how to handle calls like this:

 

[chassis]

So I'm starting this new job on Monday and it requires me to speak extremely good well and polite english over the phone, which is not my mother tongue. I'm gonna have to deal with upper crust class gentlemen and my employer warned me about them being picky particular on words.

 

 

 

HELP!!! assistance please.