Caretstik Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 My favourite mugging. When I was about 12 or something I got mugged by a group of girls who were being intimidatingly slutty, one of them sticking her hands in my jeans pocket etc. I wasn't really adept with handling this sort of occurence so though it should have been pretty obvious what was going on - I was kind of overcome by the sexiness of it all and failed to realise. Being the naively wishful thinking virgin that I am was, I suppose I thought it was gonna turn into some kind of 4 way blowjob in the bogs where the girls are wrestling each other to cram my penus in their gobs while they finger each other. I only had about a quid on me so hey - I had a wank about it later on. It was very cool. Bloody inflation. You'd never get that lot for a quid nowadays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perunamuusi Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 i have never even considered being so insanely stupid as to buy drugs off the street from a random guy i dont know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boo Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 but you're drug dealers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 i have never even considered being so insanely stupid as to buy drugs off the street from a random guy i dont know. lol i was gonna say... yeah might be the dumbest thing i've done. never done it before or since. should've at least gotten raped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 the closest i've ever been to being mugged was when i was walking down the street, dressed in a suit with velvet jacket and an expensive hat, and some guy comes up and takes the hat from my head, demanding $4 from me if i wanted it back. the girls i was with told me to not worry about it, but nobody knew that i paid $120 for that god damn hat and i was not going to let that guy run off with it. so i paid the $4 and he gave me my hat back. what an idiot. he could have easily asked me for more money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 i have never even considered being so insanely stupid as to buy drugs off the street from a random guy i dont know. lol i was gonna say... yeah might be the dumbest thing i've done. never done it before or since. should've at least gotten raped. to my credit i've made some extremely good decisions in my life so maybe they balance out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 can never seem to get raped though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggs Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 ill be in Denver around March. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 the closest i've ever been to being mugged was when i was walking down the street, dressed in a suit with velvet jacket and an expensive hat, and some guy comes up and takes the hat from my head, demanding $4 from me if i wanted it back. the girls i was with told me to not worry about it, but nobody knew that i paid $120 for that god damn hat and i was not going to let that guy run off with it. so i paid the $4 and he gave me my hat back. what an idiot. he could have easily asked me for more money. Shit Modey, you need to shoot some pimp pictures of yourself in the mirror with said hat. $120--is it a Dam Funk Louis Vutton? i'll go through some old photos and maybe put them in the recent pics thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the anonymous forumite Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 everyone nearby will suddenly start shouting "over here I got teh drugz buy mine" Lol, so true. Or, they start arguing with each other loudly, or pull your arm to go with X or Y. Both Happened to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cichlisuite Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 This one night long time ago (i was still in middle-school), we were getting drunk at the same spot as before. i went into a backalley to take a piss and found this guy walking in circles, looking all nervous. he asked me if he could borrow my cellphone to call someone urgently. judging by his looks i thought he was trustworthy, but i was young and naive, and didn't count the fact that we're in the middle of the night in the most dark and obscure corner of the street. he held my phone up to his ear for a while and then with a gesture of giving it back to me, he invited me closer (i instinctively held a safe distance from him), and as soon as i grabbed my cellphone i got this completelly unexpected punch in the face that knocked me down pretty well. I didn't hesitate, so as soon as I got up again I ran to catch him. I was shouting and swearing, running as fast as i could behind him. i followed him couple of blocks away into a backyard of some apartment building. the backyard was full of similar-looking guys who all turned towards me. i stopped and shouted (i was really drunk) "give me back my phone you fucking stupid primitive idiot". those four guys just laughed their ass over, saying i should beat it before getting my ass kicked. i ignored their threats and kept on boiling my anger when suddenly someone puts out a large knife. i just fucking ran away as fast as i could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 my mate chris is a speccy unassuming looking guy but hard as nails if needs be. he was on the way to his hotel, pissed from a boozy business lunch in manchester when he got jumped by 4 guys who demanded his phone and wallet. one had a knife. he casually takes off his glasses and puts them in his top pocket then proceeds to kick all of their heads in before walking on his way nonchalantly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marf Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 wish i could have seen that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 he's like some kind of superhero. i've seen him deal with many situations in ways most people dream they could. it always starts with the glasses slowly coming off... this other time a bunch of us were walking on our way to a club, passed a busker and his mate, behind a lone, elderly gentleman... the busker's mate, a 6 and a half foot tall thug, suddenly stuck out his foot and tripped the old guy causing him to skid across the pavement ripping his trousers and bloodying his hands. we're all like "wtf you do that for? prick!!". the neanderthal leaps forward at us and shouts "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"... chris slowly tucks his glasses into his jacket, stands in front of him and calmly says "no, should i?"... the big guy seems quite tickled that someone's challenged him and lunges at chris with a fist. chris ducks the punch and upper cuts him so hard the guy lifts off the ground and hits the deck, neck and shoulders first in a heap. the big guy scrambles to his feet, dazed with his nose and mouth totally opened out. he pauses for a split second and suddenly sprints off into the darkness as fast as i've ever seen a big lump like him run. chris puts his glasses back on and asks the old guy if he's ok. i've got so many similar stories about chris single handedly fighting crime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ruiagnelo Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 i'm more puzzled as to how someone can get pickpocketed. i'm constantly aware of my phone and wallet being in my pockets! same. i think i am developing a paranoia because sometimes i find myself checking again, and again after it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plstik Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 They eventually caught the guy and the other guy lived but he very easily could have gotten stabbed in the heart or something, he just had a punctured lung, it was in the news and stuff. It was interesting watching the firetruck spray away all the blood on the sidewalk, I never realized that was part of the firefighters job description they also have to dispose the pieces after someone gets hit by a train. Last year I went home from work and met a friend who is with the firefighters. They blocked the whole street, because someone had jumped in front of a train. Which then sent him on a journey against the next housewall, so the whole mess was in the front garden and on the wall of the house... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 he's like some kind of superhero. i've seen him deal with many situations in ways most people dream they could. it always starts with the glasses slowly coming off... this other time a bunch of us were walking on our way to a club, passed a busker and his mate, behind a lone, elderly gentleman... the busker's mate, a 6 and a half foot tall thug, suddenly stuck out his foot and tripped the old guy causing him to skid across the pavement ripping his trousers and bloodying his hands. we're all like "wtf you do that for? prick!!". the neanderthal leaps forward at us and shouts "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"... chris slowly tucks his glasses into his jacket, stands in front of him and calmly says "no, should i?"... the big guy seems quite tickled that someone's challenged him and lunges at chris with a fist. chris ducks the punch and upper cuts him so hard the guy lifts off the ground and hits the deck, neck and shoulders first in a heap. the big guy scrambles to his feet, dazed with his nose and mouth totally opened out. he pauses for a split second and suddenly sprints off into the darkness as fast as i've ever seen a big lump like him run. chris puts his glasses back on and asks the old guy if he's ok. i've got so many similar stories about chris single handedly fighting crime. i know an guy like this but not a speccy, hes just very short, about 5'6. my mate was once in london with wee man and my other friend whos about as non-violent as me. four nasty looking, reasonably large blackguys walk straight into them, shove them about, tell them all to get out their phones and cash, and hand em over. wee man acts terrified, goes into his pocket for his blackberry, holds it hard, and proceeds to smash every single one of there heads into a bloody pulp with the end of his phone before throwing it on the floor at them and screaming 'take the fucking precious fuckin phone you horrible fucking scumbag fucking fucks' and throwing in a last few kicks. i had no idea to this side of him and my other friend said hes never been so scared and shocked in his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 he's like some kind of superhero. i've seen him deal with many situations in ways most people dream they could. it always starts with the glasses slowly coming off... this other time a bunch of us were walking on our way to a club, passed a busker and his mate, behind a lone, elderly gentleman... the busker's mate, a 6 and a half foot tall thug, suddenly stuck out his foot and tripped the old guy causing him to skid across the pavement ripping his trousers and bloodying his hands. we're all like "wtf you do that for? prick!!". the neanderthal leaps forward at us and shouts "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"... chris slowly tucks his glasses into his jacket, stands in front of him and calmly says "no, should i?"... the big guy seems quite tickled that someone's challenged him and lunges at chris with a fist. chris ducks the punch and upper cuts him so hard the guy lifts off the ground and hits the deck, neck and shoulders first in a heap. the big guy scrambles to his feet, dazed with his nose and mouth totally opened out. he pauses for a split second and suddenly sprints off into the darkness as fast as i've ever seen a big lump like him run. chris puts his glasses back on and asks the old guy if he's ok. i've got so many similar stories about chris single handedly fighting crime. MOAR he's like some kind of superhero. i've seen him deal with many situations in ways most people dream they could. it always starts with the glasses slowly coming off... this other time a bunch of us were walking on our way to a club, passed a busker and his mate, behind a lone, elderly gentleman... the busker's mate, a 6 and a half foot tall thug, suddenly stuck out his foot and tripped the old guy causing him to skid across the pavement ripping his trousers and bloodying his hands. we're all like "wtf you do that for? prick!!". the neanderthal leaps forward at us and shouts "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"... chris slowly tucks his glasses into his jacket, stands in front of him and calmly says "no, should i?"... the big guy seems quite tickled that someone's challenged him and lunges at chris with a fist. chris ducks the punch and upper cuts him so hard the guy lifts off the ground and hits the deck, neck and shoulders first in a heap. the big guy scrambles to his feet, dazed with his nose and mouth totally opened out. he pauses for a split second and suddenly sprints off into the darkness as fast as i've ever seen a big lump like him run. chris puts his glasses back on and asks the old guy if he's ok. i've got so many similar stories about chris single handedly fighting crime. i know an guy like this but not a speccy, hes just very short, about 5'6. my mate was once in london with wee man and my other friend whos about as non-violent as me. four nasty looking, reasonably large blackguys walk straight into them, shove them about, tell them all to get out their phones and cash, and hand em over. wee man acts terrified, goes into his pocket for his blackberry, holds it hard, and proceeds to smash every single one of there heads into a bloody pulp with the end of his phone before throwing it on the floor at them and screaming 'take the fucking precious fuckin phone you horrible fucking scumbag fucking fucks' and throwing in a last few kicks. i had no idea to this side of him and my other friend said hes never been so scared and shocked in his life. so you are mates with joe pesci from goodfellas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 except with a cockney accent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 MOAR long, hot, summer night. we're all sitting outside the pub on pavement-side benches, drinking all afternoon... the street is ram-packed with people doing the same. everyone's sun burnt and half-cut, good vibes all round... next thing attention is drawn to this coked-up thug swaggering down the middle of the road, stopping traffic, scaring shit out of a lone woman driver and threatening anyone who looks at him or says anything about it. he's like a raging, charging bull with people parting to let him charge through. people are shouting at him from the roadside calling him a prick and he grabs a girl by the throat and pushes her back on her arse, her skinny boyfriend protests momentarily before his whole body visually shrinks into his nutsack, faced with the rampaging brick shit-house. the big animal turns and walks back into the road... an ambulance is tearing up the street with it's siren on and has to slam on its brakes to a halt in front of him. he starts punching the front of the ambulance and threatening the driver... everyone in the street is watching all this unfold, dumfounded... 2 big, handy looking onlookers go over and try and drag the boy out of the way and swiftly get their noses burst, blood everywhere... by now girls are screaming, the ambulance drivers still motionless, locked inside, petrified... i over-hear a girl nearby saying "someone's got to do something about this!!" i look around our table at my mates to see if we're going to do anything and catch chris calmly draining his pint and setting the glass down, taking his glasses off and carefully folding them up and into his shirt pocket. he stands without saying a word and saunters over to the front of the ambulance and taps the hard-nut on the shoulder... he turns round and looks down at chris standing a good 8 inches below him, puffs his chest and leans forward with a growl and BAM!!! chris nuts him so hard and fast in the face he's airborn for a second before sliding to a halt in the gutter... the whole street erupts, cheering for chris and laughing at the big guy getting his come-uppence. by-standers drag the boy, motionless, out of the way and onto the pavement to let the grateful, laughing ambulance men on their way. chris returns to our table with a wry smile met with a heroes welcome, much cheering and back slaps galore... shortly after the police arrive and ask everyone whats been happening. noone tells them a thing and hilarity ensues as they try and scoop the big nutter into a van... people continue to buy us drinks all night and chris gets more female attention than he knows what to do with. apologies for shitty punctuation. or lack of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 haha, absolute legend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 i call bs, but i like your stories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AcrossCanyons Posted November 17, 2010 Share Posted November 17, 2010 i call bs, but i like your stories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 i call bs, but i like your stories fair do's. but honestly no bs. he has this unwielding confidence in his ability to handle himself, when most of us would let our doubts persuade us to do nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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