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Terpentintollwut

By Terpentintollwut
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Terpentintollwut Grand Master

Terpentintollwut

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Yesterday I was out to buy Bioshock 2, my secret Christmas present for myself. When I was out of the game shop, I went down the road a little, and saw there was an Asian food store. One I hadn't been in before, I usually go to the one on the other side, but I saw through the window that they had Sriracha sauce, so I went in. Being inside, I see this tall black chick, she is almost as tall as me, a rare sight for me, plus she was pretty damn good looking and, well, a black chick. I look at the shelf and see what I think are Habanero Chilis, the usual red and yellow, and to my surprise, some green ones too, hadn't seen them anywhere before. So I'm thinking about the oddness of the green Habanero and wonder what the black girl is buying, suddenly I hear her say " 'ello! 'ello!" (in English) from right behind me. I assume she meant me, so I turned around, but apparently she was looking for the shop owner or something. A young Indian dude comes from the back of the shop, sits down at the counter. She walks up to him and says in a beautiful African accent but a pretty aggressive tone "What you make things expensive for, brotha!" - The guy looks at her and says "Wie bitte?" (Pardon Me?), so she goes on again, "Why you make things expensive!" - he's confused, so am I - she goes to the shelf and grabs another bottle of the same sauce I am already holding, holds it up to him and says "You take things, you change price - Why?" - before he has a chance to answer, she keeps going "Look! Look! Sriracha! You take it, you change price! Why, brotha, why you do that!" - The guy is probably just the owner's son or something, he says, now also in English, "I don't make the price ... sistah". She looks at him for about ten seconds, then she gets out some money, gives it to him in a harsh gesture. He types in the stuff, gives her back her change, must have been 10-20 cents. She says: "Give me one Euro." - he just looks at her, she repeats "Brotha you give me one Euro right now" and reaches out over the counter, trying to take out one of the coins. He slaps the back of her hand. At this point I am thinking of that bordline psycho chick thread and what's the deal with feeling drawn towards mentally unstable women. Now another man has entered the shop, black dude, even taller than me, I'm guessing about 2,05 - 2,10 m. He takes out a five Euro bill, hands it to the guy at the counter and says to him "Just give her one Euro, just give her". Immediately after that, the girl reaches into the cash box and grabs a Euro like one would reach into a bowl of crisps. Then they leave the shop. So the random guy just paid 5 euro in order for her to get 1 Euro back.

 

What the hell happened there? :huh: I should have been recording with my mp3 player but didn't think of it so quickly. Damn it.

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kaini Grand Master

kaini

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once i worked in housekeeping in a hotel, with this insanely hot nigerian chick (think $ shaped, almost - big ol titties, and an ass you could balance a plate on and eat your dinner off). anyway she was always winding me up - 'why do you do dis job? dis is a wooomaaans work?'. close proximity of nubian goddess and the prevalence of beds everywhere meant i more or less had a hotel-pants boner eight hours a day.

 

edit: also, paragraphs.

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kaini Grand Master

kaini

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I'm assuming you never got a taste of that ass, that's a shame.

 

i was spoken for at the time. reckon i could have though

 

BUT you're gonna break the 10 k mark on Christmas Eve, so there's at least something to celebrate isn't there :spiteful:

 

that's the saddest 18-word short story i've ever read.

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Guest Gary C

Guest Gary C

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I dunno. Maybe she was genuinely crazy.

 

Or more likely it's some sort of scam that you missed. Maybe they got out of there with more money than you think.

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kaini Grand Master

kaini

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yeah she was about to tell you she was MIRIAM ABACHA, wife of late Nigerian head of state- Gen. Sanni ABACHA. Ypu had not met before,she got your contact through Nigerian Chamber of Commerce and she felt she should trust you. It was no news telling you that her family has been going through untold hardship since the 18th June 1998 when her husband died.

 

Her family had lost so much including some fixed assets her husband acquired while in office. Evidently, the pages of all Nigeria dailies, which you can equally get from Nigeria embassy in your country, would tell better their story. Even then, their homes were under surveillance, worst of all, the Government had restored(?) to consficating everything that has to do with their family.

 

Before the death of MIRIAM'S husband, he ran among other business of his own, bureau de change, which was flourishing with every Government support. From the bureau de change business, which has now been clamped down by Nigeria Government, she was able to save USD$24,000,000.00 in cash. She tried to safeguard it in a security company here in Nigeria but couldn't. Through the help of a close family friend who worked in a security company, she delivered the USD$24 million and moved it out of Nigeria under the label of photographic materials to a security company in EUROPE.For security reason,she wouldn't mention the name of the country until she got all your bank account details.

 

 

dodged a bullet there.

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Guest hahathhat

Guest hahathhat

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I dunno. Maybe she was genuinely crazy.

 

Or more likely it's some sort of scam that you missed. Maybe they got out of there with more money than you think.

 

fiver was fake?

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Terpentintollwut Grand Master

Terpentintollwut

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yeah she was about to tell you she was MIRIAM ABACHA, wife of late Nigerian head of state- Gen. Sanni ABACHA. Ypu had not met before,she got your contact through Nigerian Chamber of Commerce and she felt she should trust you. It was no news telling you that her family has been going through untold hardship since the 18th June 1998 when her husband died.

 

Her family had lost so much including some fixed assets her husband acquired while in office. Evidently, the pages of all Nigeria dailies, which you can equally get from Nigeria embassy in your country, would tell better their story. Even then, their homes were under surveillance, worst of all, the Government had restored(?) to consficating everything that has to do with their family.

 

Before the death of MIRIAM'S husband, he ran among other business of his own, bureau de change, which was flourishing with every Government support. From the bureau de change business, which has now been clamped down by Nigeria Government, she was able to save USD$24,000,000.00 in cash. She tried to safeguard it in a security company here in Nigeria but couldn't. Through the help of a close family friend who worked in a security company, she delivered the USD$24 million and moved it out of Nigeria under the label of photographic materials to a security company in EUROPE.For security reason,she wouldn't mention the name of the country until she got all your bank account details.

 

 

dodged a bullet there.

 

I'm guessing she also had a diamond as big as a grapefruit ...

 

 

up her ass

What's with me and asses lately?

 

 

 

 

I dunno. Maybe she was genuinely crazy.

 

Or more likely it's some sort of scam that you missed. Maybe they got out of there with more money than you think.

 

fiver was fake?

 

Effective Scam ++

 

 

 

Man I'm sitting here only wearing a t-shirt, people on the street can see me through a massive window, I really should go to bed, merry Christmas.

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Guest Franklin

Guest Franklin

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i actually did have a sexual relationship with a ghanian chick for quite a while. she was freaky. liked to have sex especially if there were sleeping people around... like at house parties.

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kaini Grand Master

kaini

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one time this obnoxious american douchebag left me us - me and nubian hotness - ONE FUCKING DOLLAR as a tip. however he also left behind a ring that turned out to be made out of fucking platinum. :emotawesomepm9:

 

if he had left behind a european currency or more than 5$ i wouldn't have had a shit-eating grin on my face cashing it in at a much lower price than i could have got at the pawn shop.

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spratters Grand Master

spratters

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There used to be a nut house around the corner from where I used to live. They used to let some of them out once or twice a week on their own. There's a village right near that they used to go to, as did I. One of them used to go in to a pub I use and ask for a pint of cider. The man would give the barman two ten pound notes. The barman always just poured a pint of lemonade and give the person the two ten pound notes back. The gent was happy as larry as I guess it was a huge treat to him. This used to happen once a week for quite a while.

 

Another one of the shops in the village was a Martins (newsagent), and they used to have a woman who would often go in there and scream her head off about not being able to fine some magazine that didn't exist.

 

There are plenty more of these experiences that used to happen round that village in different establishments.

 

My point being that these people were fairly harmless. They were simple if you like. It sounds like that's the sort of thing you experienced. To keep the simpleton happy/content the gent she was with just played along. I could, of course, be completely wrong but there are many care in the community peeps about and that's what I thought from your situation.

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