BCM Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 saw these taken from twitter comedy people on some site somewhere. thought they were funny. fuck it. Feed a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Feed a fish a man and he’ll eat for like two and a half months@rainwilson As my 5 year-old son and I carved the pumpkin today, I swear I heard him say, “That’s what happens to snitches.” @ConanOBrien Had my son’s hearing tested because he’s always yelling. Turns out he’s just an asshole @kellyoxford I like my women the way I like my Star Wars films – At least 27 years old & never having had Hayden Christensen in them. @elibraden A super quick way to look really disturbing is to walk through the rain really slowly without trying to cover yourself at all. @mindykaling TBS you don’t need to announce “you are watching the wizard of oz” over the shot of Dorothy walking down the fucking yellow brick road. @timheidecker I am eating that dense German health bread that is the size and weight of a thick leather wallet. @hodgman 12 string guitars only have 6 extra strings, but they’re 85 TIMES as likely to be used in a song about wizards. @robdelaney Just visited MySpace. Half the lights are out, bears are living in my comments section, and a homeless guy’s been pooping in my blog. @pattonoswal If someone says they’re only human, give them a second look. That sure does sound like something a robot would say. @ladybirdj Your funky hat lets me know that you’re crazy. @SarahKSilverman Finding the perfect analogy is like balancing a muffin on a pencil. @Randazzoj I think I could fake sign language myself out of a jam. @thesulk Sometimes playing catch is very similar to throwing things at a child in a backyard. @DemetriMartin “Ok, sure.” -Nicolas Cage, after reading any script. @friedmanjon That cop says I should go to jail for smoking PCP in my car, but I say that cop should go to jail for being a saber-toothed tiger. @meganamram I think more than one company should be allowed to sell Monopoly. @JudahWorldChamp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gary C Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Some good jokes. Shit thread is justified for a second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perunamuusi Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 12 string guitars only have 6 extra strings, but they’re 85 TIMES as likely to be used in a song about wizards.@robdelaney i lolled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chassis Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 That cop says I should go to jail for smoking PCP in my car, but I say that cop should go to jail for being a saber-toothed tiger.@meganamram herher Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 Some good jokes. Shit thread is justified for a second. are you calling my thread shit? are you?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Franklin Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 laughed at several. warmed up a supershitty day. thanks bcm! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atop Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 A super quick way to look really disturbing is to walk through the rain really slowly without trying to cover yourself at all. @mindykaling flol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr lopez Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 12 string guitars only have 6 extra strings, but they’re 85 TIMES as likely to be used in a song about wizards.@robdelaney i lolled yeah this was the best one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GORDO Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 "Finding the perfect analogy is like balancing a muffin on a pencil." genius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
encey Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 ReLols Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
impakt Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 loleee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRr37lQKJhw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Smuckers Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gary C Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 That's so bad. Just bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
impakt Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 ROFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chassis Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Heres something better http://twitter.com/#!/oldmansearch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.