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stupid first world problems you're dealing with


Guest KY

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true story; I still have a sore neck from passing out while doing a gigantic shit six months ago.

It was HUGE

it made me black out on the toilet

my girlfriend found me face down with one foot in the cat litter and my boxers around my feet

bleeding into the tiles unconscious

I told everyone on facebook immediately

 

lol, fantastic!

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edit - my current FWP is that i really need to poop but the cleaner is cleaning the toilet so i will have to go in right after she's finished as if i was walking across a freshly hoovered carpet with muddy boots on... but then i also feel bad when she goes in to clean it after i've pooped cos she has to spend 10 minutes inhaling my bowel fumes.

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do you really need to be BBQing beyond midnight?

 

Well no but I can't really get the drivers to leave whenever I want. They may want to stay until later on and watch others getting smashed. Otherwise it's a £30+ taxi just to get home or £50+ to get to the party.

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edit - my current FWP is that i really need to poop but the cleaner is cleaning the toilet so i will have to go in right after she's finished as if i was walking across a freshly hoovered carpet with muddy boots on... but then i also feel bad when she goes in to clean it after i've pooped cos she has to spend 10 minutes inhaling my bowel fumes.

 

worked out a solution - i just did it while she was in there.

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do you really need to be BBQing beyond midnight?

 

Well no but I can't really get the drivers to leave whenever I want. They may want to stay until later on and watch others getting smashed. Otherwise it's a £30+ taxi just to get home or £50+ to get to the party.

i'm sure you said something about trains running until 12-something

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Guest Sprigg

the income limit for the apartment I'm about to move into.

 

income limit? what the hell? why the hell? who the hell? the hell?

 

Exactly. The apartments are subsidized by another organization or something, so they have limits on how much can be made per person/ bedroom, and if we make a combined income of like $300 a month more than we make now, they'd force us to get the next step up. Turns out it's only if we make more than that before I get in, once I'm in, it'll be fine... so it shouldn't be a problem. I hope.

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the income limit for the apartment I'm about to move into.

 

income limit? what the hell? why the hell? who the hell? the hell?

 

Exactly. The apartments are subsidized by another organization or something, so they have limits on how much can be made per person/ bedroom, and if we make a combined income of like $300 a month more than we make now, they'd force us to get the next step up. Turns out it's only if we make more than that before I get in, once I'm in, it'll be fine... so it shouldn't be a problem. I hope.

 

wow! i've never heard the likes. surely all they should care about is that you pay your rent on time and don't wreck the place.

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it must be an affordable housing scheme thing so poor people can live somewhere

 

i doubt it's to force money makers to spend, or to keep poor people in specific areas.

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Guest disparaissant

i did okay on my math placement test and only have to take one math class to be done with math FOREVER but that class is totally full.

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I'm immobile due to my laptop and a bowl of icecream on my lap and need to reach the lamp next to me to turn it on. I managed to reach it and turn it on but

 

plot twist

 

its not plugged in.

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i've become fat.

 

Me too. I don't even eat much anymore but I'm probably gaining 5 pounds a month for no reason.

 

i've become fat.

 

Don't worry: fat is the new cool. 5X265.gif

 

oh thank fuck

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i've become fat.

 

welcome to the club. Just don't look at your reflected side profile in shop windows and you should be able to avoid most of the cruel self hatred that leads to more high calorie food being consumed.

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baph, do you eat 3 meals a day? any snacks between meals?

 

No snacks, but usually a breakfast on the order of a coffee (and maybe a granola bar) and then a smallish lunch and a normal sized dinner.

 

It could be that I have to be sedentary for 10 hours straight every day.

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do you really need to be BBQing beyond midnight?

 

Well no but I can't really get the drivers to leave whenever I want. They may want to stay until later on and watch others getting smashed. Otherwise it's a £30+ taxi just to get home or £50+ to get to the party.

i'm sure you said something about trains running until 12-something

 

The station is about half a mile from my house so it's still a £30 taxi to the station. I think I've decided to make my apologies and forget the bbq. However, I got hammered last night and don't feel like drinking at all yet so we shall see...

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do you really need to be BBQing beyond midnight?

 

Well no but I can't really get the drivers to leave whenever I want. They may want to stay until later on and watch others getting smashed. Otherwise it's a £30+ taxi just to get home or £50+ to get to the party.

i'm sure you said something about trains running until 12-something

 

The station is about half a mile from my house so it's still a £30 taxi to the station. I think I've decided to make my apologies and forget the bbq. However, I got hammered last night and don't feel like drinking at all yet so we shall see...

i'm still confused. it takes like 8 minutes to walk half a mile, and how could a half-mile taxi ride cost £30?

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